Is a march birthday too old to redshirt?

[Anonymous]

This actually pisses me off as the parent of an August baby that you think putting a kid a year and a half older in her grade (without diagnosed special needs) is acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This actually pisses me off as the parent of an August baby that you think putting a kid a year and a half older in her grade (without diagnosed special needs) is acceptable.

WHY? I have a September child and could not care less kids are that much older. I wanted my kid the youngest vs. oldest. If my kid can hold their own with kids that much older, especially academic, I'm very proud of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really bad idea, unless you get a specific medical diagnosis.
All the K teachers say all the boys are squirmy. It's normal.
It will be embarassing for your son on every birthday

We held our April fraternal twins boys back, they were born 6 weeks early. They were definitely a challenge back in the day - stubborn personalities, kicking teachers, small stature, etc..., and it was the right decision at the time. They now have the best of both worlds - they play sports with their older cohorts, developed incredible confidence and are leaders in their classrooms, and are still the shortest in their class. They are in several "gifted" classes in their school and pace their testing with those a year above them. We spoke with 4 kindergarten teachers before making that decision, and they thought it is usually a good idea to hold back boys. And no, we didn't breast feed either, so I already know I'll be labeled a bad parent by trolls on this board - just wasn't medically possible.

We had planned ahead and allowed ourselves options. We put them into a Catholic kindergarten in Fairfax when they were the correct age, where we were able to monitor how they were pacing with their classmates and behaving. This provided a few options 1) keep them in catholic school, 2) move them to 1st grade public school, or 3) redo kindergarten at a public school. After watching their personalities and behavior in Kindergarten for a year, we chose to redo kindergarten at the public school, and for them, there was no stigma attached. We loved the Catholic school, but we found that the volunteer commitment for Catholic school was too great since we are both practicing attorneys and can't control our work hours to fit the Catholic school model of everybody pitches in. If they are embarrassed by their age on their birthday every year, they've never let on that it upsets them. Only issue we foresee is that many of their sports buddies will be going to college a year before them - and they may be more anxious to get to college since some of their good friends will already be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I had a child with a March who I seriously thought wasn't ready for K, I would have them professionally evaluated. Good luck.

+1

+2

Holding your child back isn't a magic bullet. It could create problems you don't already have. Even if you were given the choice, I wouldn't do it without professional advice from multiple sources (your preschool director, Child Find, a behavioral pediatrician or psychologist, etc).

[Anonymous]

I find it strange how a kid who is an April Bday is "held back" a year ... and then voila!.... the kid is in the "gifted" classes that teach a "year ahead."

Isn't that pretty much stacking the "gifted" deck?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it strange how a kid who is an April Bday is "held back" a year ... and then voila!.... the kid is in the "gifted" classes that teach a "year ahead."

Isn't that pretty much stacking the "gifted" deck?

I'm pretty sure the IQ tests used as part of the gifted selection process are scored by age, not school grade. Stop hating.

[Anonymous]

I know that it's a little late, since the school year starts on Tuesday, but my recommendation is to put your child into K and check with the teacher in about 3-4 weeks. That will give him a chance to settle into routine, make friends, learn to emulate them (they all start copying different things from each other) and also a chance for the teacher to get to know him. Then, ask for a parent-teacher conference and talk with the teacher about how he is behaving in class, how he is adapting to class and if she feels he has any issues. Many kids are as you describe, but once in the K class, they adapt, often by copying other kids or the teacher learns how to control the class and get the kids to follow the rules.

If he is adapting, but slow, you can always opt to have him repeat K. If he is not adapting well, then you can pull him out and put him back in K again next year. But I don't think the examples you gave are enough to hold him back as they are both pretty common characteristics of boys entering K. If, however, you've had him in pre-K for one or two years already and are basing this on you discussions with his pre-K teachers, then you could consider holding him back, putting him back in pre-K and seeing what the teacher says next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This actually pisses me off as the parent of an August baby that you think putting a kid a year and a half older in her grade (without diagnosed special needs) is acceptable.

WHY? I have a September child and could not care less kids are that much older. I wanted my kid the youngest vs. oldest. If my kid can hold their own with kids that much older, especially academic, I'm very proud of him.

I also have a late August born kid and I'm kinda with both of you. My kid is very tall for her age and extremely socially confidant. She always gravitates towards kids that are her size, which means they are almost always older. For the most part, she does fine and I don't think having a playmate 1.5 years older would impact her too much. But a classmate might be different. There's a lot of differences between 6.5 and someone barely turning 5. I don't think I'd be angry, but I might concerned about it and wonder at your apparent selfishness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it strange how a kid who is an April Bday is "held back" a year ... and then voila!.... the kid is in the "gifted" classes that teach a "year ahead."

Isn't that pretty much stacking the "gifted" deck?

I'm pretty sure the IQ tests used as part of the gifted selection process are scored by age, not school grade. Stop hating.

+1. The tests I'm familiar with are scored by age down to the month. If anything, starting a child a year late might be a disadvantage because they'll have had less schooling as compared to children the same age who started on time.

[Anonymous]

Too old.

I don't understand why so many people are doing this.

It means that when my kid goes on time, there are kids in the class that could be a year older than my kid. I don't like it at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This actually pisses me off as the parent of an August baby that you think putting a kid a year and a half older in her grade (without diagnosed special needs) is acceptable.

WHY? I have a September child and could not care less kids are that much older. I wanted my kid the youngest vs. oldest. If my kid can hold their own with kids that much older, especially academic, I'm very proud of him.

I also have a late August born kid and I'm kinda with both of you. My kid is very tall for her age and extremely socially confidant. She always gravitates towards kids that are her size, which means they are almost always older. For the most part, she does fine and I don't think having a playmate 1.5 years older would impact her too much. But a classmate might be different. There's a lot of differences between 6.5 and someone barely turning 5. I don't think I'd be angry, but I might concerned about it and wonder at your apparent selfishness.

Why is it selfish to send a child on time? It is selfish to hold a child back assuming they are not capable vs. giving them a chance. I get so tired of the argument that K is so difficult. The reality is the play based preschools are not preparing kids well and that causes an issue with the transition. My child went younger and had SN and is doing great. If anything pushing ahead helped with the SN and he's thriving. He's going to be short due to genetics regardless so that is not a reason to hold back. Yes. there are huge differences in ages, but its selfish of the parents who held back. It skews everything, especially test scores. Parents brag their kids are smarter when the kids aren't actually smarter, but they have had a year to absorb material that they really should have learned a year ago. We gave my child the choice when we transferred to public and he choose the higher grade. It would have been selfish not to follow his choice when he's doing well. The early years of school are so slow and I don't get why we are dumbing down our kids when they need to compete globally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too old.

I don't understand why so many people are doing this.

It means that when my kid goes on time, there are kids in the class that could be a year older than my kid. I don't like it at all.

Yes, and? This is going to happen even if everybody goes on time, unless schools start instituting half-year grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This actually pisses me off as the parent of an August baby that you think putting a kid a year and a half older in her grade (without diagnosed special needs) is acceptable.

WHY? I have a September child and could not care less kids are that much older. I wanted my kid the youngest vs. oldest. If my kid can hold their own with kids that much older, especially academic, I'm very proud of him.

I also have a late August born kid and I'm kinda with both of you. My kid is very tall for her age and extremely socially confidant. She always gravitates towards kids that are her size, which means they are almost always older. For the most part, she does fine and I don't think having a playmate 1.5 years older would impact her too much. But a classmate might be different. There's a lot of differences between 6.5 and someone barely turning 5. I don't think I'd be angry, but I might concerned about it and wonder at your apparent selfishness.

Why is it selfish to send a child on time? It is selfish to hold a child back assuming they are not capable vs. giving them a chance. I get so tired of the argument that K is so difficult. The reality is the play based preschools are not preparing kids well and that causes an issue with the transition. My child went younger and had SN and is doing great. If anything pushing ahead helped with the SN and he's thriving. He's going to be short due to genetics regardless so that is not a reason to hold back. Yes. there are huge differences in ages, but its selfish of the parents who held back. It skews everything, especially test scores. Parents brag their kids are smarter when the kids aren't actually smarter, but they have had a year to absorb material that they really should have learned a year ago. We gave my child the choice when we transferred to public and he choose the higher grade. It would have been selfish not to follow his choice when he's doing well. The early years of school are so slow and I don't get why we are dumbing down our kids when they need to compete globally.

You misunderstood or I wasn't clear: I believe is it selfish of parents to hold a March birthday back a year for no diagnisable reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH thinks it is but this kid is very immature (i.e. cant sit still for 30 minutes, slow learner) and no way will handle kindergarten.

Jesus, yes! Give me a break. TEACH your child the behaviors needed for Kindergarten. Don't expect the teacher to do it. Don't hold your kid back because you have not prepped your child

Dresses themselves (buttons, snaps, zippers, etc..)
Tie shoes
Ask questions if needed
Don't call out or disrupt

The learning will come - not everyone is the highest kid in the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too old.

I don't understand why so many people are doing this.

It means that when my kid goes on time, there are kids in the class that could be a year older than my kid. I don't like it at all.

Yes, and? This is going to happen even if everybody goes on time, unless schools start instituting half-year grades.

If the OP redshirted her kid with a March birthday and there was a child from PA, NY, etc.. who transferred with a Dec birthday on time, you do realize the kids would be 21 months apart in age in the same grade. Their cut off is Dec and 4yr olds start K in those states and many others. The fact OP wants to send a kid that is 6.5yrs old into his first day of K is pathetic.