8-year-old DD Binge Eating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would lay down the law. I don't allow any eating of anything without asking. They ask to eat an apple. They ask for a piece of gum.

Recipe for obesity.

Agreed. This is nuts.

It doesn't mean I say no. But they must ask.

They're still going to end up either bingers or restricters. They will get to college and blow up from the freedom of stuffing their face without asking you. Even an apple? Lady, get a life. You're messing up your kids' relationship with food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would lay down the law. I don't allow any eating of anything without asking. They ask to eat an apple. They ask for a piece of gum.

Recipe for obesity.

Agreed. This is nuts.

It doesn't mean I say no. But they must ask.

They're still going to end up either bingers or restricters. They will get to college and blow up from the freedom of stuffing their face without asking you. Even an apple? Lady, get a life. You're messing up your kids' relationship with food.

Yeah this is just weird. You sound like a control freak. Some day your kids will move far, far away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would lay down the law. I don't allow any eating of anything without asking. They ask to eat an apple. They ask for a piece of gum.

Recipe for obesity.

Agreed. This is nuts.

It doesn't mean I say no. But they must ask.

What in the world do you think your children are learning with this set up? At what magical age will they be able to suddenly decide for themselves what to eat and when? This is a recipe for disaster.

[Anonymous]

I'm like your daughter in the sense that I can have all of the Oreos/bread/fruit snacks, or I can have none. If you give me 2-3 oreos I will be coming back for more. Who eats 2 Oreos and is happy about it? I'm 30, 5'6" and 130lb and I still would happily eat half the pack and probably more if DH wasn't co-eating the rest of it.

She knew the Oreos came hone, saw you stash them where she couldn't reach, and then fixated on getting them. Totally common behavior for her age. There's that cliche "you always want what you can't have." It doesn't matter what treats she could, it matters which ones she can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this all growing up and was very skinny (105 lbs and 5'2'' height), it's really not such a big deal? Sometimes for school lunch I'd eat 10 Chips ahoy cookies.

Same here. Not every weird thing a kid does is a sign of a disorder. She's probably hungry, and chows down on cookies. It's not ideal, but it doesn't mean she's irretrievably broken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this all growing up and was very skinny (105 lbs and 5'2'' height), it's really not such a big deal? Sometimes for school lunch I'd eat 10 Chips ahoy cookies.

Same here. Not every weird thing a kid does is a sign of a disorder. She's probably hungry, and chows down on cookies. It's not ideal, but it doesn't mean she's irretrievably broken.

No one here has said she is "irretrievably broken." But surely you can see why there are concerns that this child gets up IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to sneak cookies. That is outside typical and healthy behavior around food.

For the 700th time: OP needs to seek out professional help from a therapist or nutritionist who works with kids to understand this behavior and come up with HEALTHY strategies to deal with the secrecy around food.

[Anonymous]

1 treat per day at the pool seems reasonable and easy. If she can not handle the restrictions change the code.

[Anonymous]

My mom used to make me ask when I wanted any food and I ended up with disordered eating patterns

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom used to make me ask when I wanted any food and I ended up with disordered eating patterns

What are disordered eating patterns? I am not sarcastic, I really don't know. Is it like close to a disorder, but not quite there? Anyway, that pp making her kids ask for every bite they take is insane. Do they ask for water too? Poor kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this all growing up and was very skinny (105 lbs and 5'2'' height), it's really not such a big deal? Sometimes for school lunch I'd eat 10 Chips ahoy cookies.

Same here. Not every weird thing a kid does is a sign of a disorder. She's probably hungry, and chows down on cookies. It's not ideal, but it doesn't mean she's irretrievably broken.

No one here has said she is "irretrievably broken." But surely you can see why there are concerns that this child gets up IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to sneak cookies. That is outside typical and healthy behavior around food.

For the 700th time: OP needs to seek out professional help from a therapist or nutritionist who works with kids to understand this behavior and come up with HEALTHY strategies to deal with the secrecy around food.

This does not need a professional. The kid likes sweets and cookies, happened to be up in the night, realized this was a good time to sneak them and went and got cookies. I see nothing that requires professional intervention. Kids sneak things they want but have been told to limit / can't have, that is part of child development, not a pathology of illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My six year old has eaten 10 Oreos in a row! Those things are addictive. Why did you put the leftovers on top of the fridge? I find that bizarre! I have found hidden left-over Halloween wrappers in my kids' rooms. It doesn't mean binge eating (on its own). A lot of this means that kids just don't want to disappoint us.

We parents are unintentionally going to give our children food complexes in an attempt to teach healthy eating habits. I would dial back and be very causal about food while continuing to make yummy homemade meals.

Don't attach shame to junk food.

NP I really like this. Thanks for a different perspective!

[Anonymous]

The sanctimony is so strong on this board! In every picky eater thread you always have some sanctimonious parent claiming that if you didn't feed your kid junk food the kid wouldn't be such a picky eater. Here we have a parent who takes a pretty balanced approach to healthy eating and occasional sweets and apparently the sanctimommies think her kid has a problem because she put the cookies above the refrigerator.

Okay I agree that you might want to talk to her professional because this is a not just one isolated event but a pattern of her sneaking food/feeling shame for doing so (?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The sanctimony is so strong on this board! In every picky eater thread you always have some sanctimonious parent claiming that if you didn't feed your kid junk food the kid wouldn't be such a picky eater. Here we have a parent who takes a pretty balanced approach to healthy eating and occasional sweets and apparently the sanctimommies think her kid has a problem because she put the cookies above the refrigerator.

Okay I agree that you might want to talk to her professional because this is a not just one isolated event but a pattern of her sneaking food/feeling shame for doing so (?)

Hmmmm....I see it a different way.

Mom says her daughter is a binge eater, and she could be right, she would know more than any of us. But binge eating doesn't appear out of nowhere for an 8 year old. But it CAN happen when there are restrictive eating rules put in place, as well as constant comments and chatter about "healthy eating."

Hope it gets better, OP. Eating disorders is the one thing I fear most for my girls. I try to be very very low key when it comes to food and attach very little judgment when it comes to food choices. I do put the lid on quantity. But one or two Oreos isn't going to satisfy anyone. Five dunked in milk sounds delicious.

[Anonymous]

I'm a NP, I wanted to ask about your kids not having to ask for food in the house. My kids are 7 and 9 and still have to ask. We have healthy food for the most part, but my son will easily knock back 2-3 bars and then not be hungry for meals. He would constantly snack if we let him because he tends to eat when he's bored. Is it really a thing to let them eat whatever they want whenever they want without asking? Why is doing otherwise setting them up for an eating disorder? It's not that we always say no unless it's within a 3 meal a day structure, but if he asks for a snack 30 minutes after a hearty breakfast I'm likely to say no. Or I'll offer vegetables that he likes and he rejects them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a NP, I wanted to ask about your kids not having to ask for food in the house. My kids are 7 and 9 and still have to ask. We have healthy food for the most part, but my son will easily knock back 2-3 bars and then not be hungry for meals. He would constantly snack if we let him because he tends to eat when he's bored. Is it really a thing to let them eat whatever they want whenever they want without asking? Why is doing otherwise setting them up for an eating disorder? It's not that we always say no unless it's within a 3 meal a day structure, but if he asks for a snack 30 minutes after a hearty breakfast I'm likely to say no. Or I'll offer vegetables that he likes and he rejects them.

I'm a NP, too, and I totally agree with you, although I think it's a little different for a 9 year old to ask than a 15 year old. My kids also ask, but they are not teens yet. I think when they're teens, it might be a different story. The point here, I think, is that if you're too restrictive and the kid learns that you are the gatekeeper of food, then she won't learn to be her own gatekeeper and won't learn healthy eating patterns. With younger kids, I absolutely think that it makes sense to ask because you're right -- they will just eat whatever whenever with no regard for mealtimes.

If I were having trouble with a teen eating tons of snacks and then not eating dinner, I'd probably try making a rule about not snacking within an hour of dinner or something, and I would also aim to have healthy foods around -- maybe even a drawer in the fridge and a cabinet labeled specifically for snacktime, packed with things like cheese and yogurt and whole grains, etc. -- rather than ice cream or candy. But I think what you're doing is totally right for your kids' ages.

As for the OP's issue, I think it's hard to say if this is true "binge eating." It sounds a bit more like she's sneaking around with stuff and feels she should't be doing these things. I think this is why so many people suspected the OP was being strict with junk food -- because the DD is sneaking around like she'll get in trouble. If she won't, then why is she sneaking around? OP, there are some unanswered questions, and I think it might be best to investigate this with your ped and then with a therapist -- perhaps first by yourself and then with your DD.