Mid-Life Affairs that Implode

[Anonymous]

For every horror story told her there are stories to the contrary. This crowd here is desperate to find anecdotal support for their moral dogma. Realty is different and more convoluted than these simple beliefs. YMMV!

[Anonymous]

Only men have an irresponsible, juvenile, shameful "midlife crisis". Women have an epiphany where they realize they settled for an unworthy man who they didn't really love, and they leave him in a praiseworthy journey of self-discovery in which they find true love.

What an interesting observation! A perfect example of moral relativism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was not physical -- only cyber.

Reconnected electronically with a HS GF; in HS, we went to third base, but no farther.

She was going through an ugly divorce, I was very unhappy in my marriage and life in general. She lived a several hundred miles from me. She did not have the money to travel, and I did not have the excuse to travel.

We sexted intensely. [i] My wife suspected something was up, and hacked into my iPad. She read the conversations.... things got ugly. As this discussion went further, I slowly realized this relationship is not going anywhere. She had become an evangelical Christian since HS whereas I am secular/atheist.

We broke off the conversations texted from 2012 to 2013. It took until 2014 until things settled down at home. I apologized, while making it clear that there was never an in-person relationship. I do not know if she believes me or not.

For how long? Was it a few times or over an extended period of time? Any "love" type messages or just sexual?

My take is that women will take the emotional type messages relaying affection/love/longing much harder than the x-rated stuff.

It went on for about 1 year, but hot and cold. No love type messages, at least not from me.

[Anonymous]

An evangelical Christian sexted at a marriage-threatening level?

Surely this doesn't surprise you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid-life crisis can usually be explained by a relationship that has been going downhill for many years. But why is it so often applied to men than women?

Only men have an irresponsible, juvenile, shameful "midlife crisis". Women have an epiphany where they realize they settled for an unworthy man who they didn't really love, and they leave him in a praiseworthy journey of self-discovery in which they find true love.

Love this.

[Anonymous]

OP - as others have said, don't focus on him getting his due. Focus on you. I went through this too and someone told me, "the best revenge is to have a good life".

[Anonymous]

OP, check out www.chumplady.com

[Anonymous]

I know someone that left his wife and kids for a stripper. Sex and coke plus endless money from his father's pocket kept the fire going. He moved his wife and kids out, moved slutty in. 6 months later during a drugged, drunken fight, pole dancer pulled out a gun and shot herself in the head in front of him.

The whole town found out when that hit the local paper.

Last I heard he was in Florida being his same greasy self only his looks have faded horribly bad, ex got the crime scene and remarried.

[Anonymous]

For every horror story told her there are stories to the contrary. This crowd here is desperate to find anecdotal support for their moral dogma. Realty is different and more convoluted than these simple beliefs. YMMV!

well, the title of the thread was Mid-Life Affairs that Implode. You can start your own "Mid Life Affairs that worked out great" thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

For every horror story told her there are stories to the contrary. This crowd here is desperate to find anecdotal support for their moral dogma. Realty is different and more convoluted than these simple beliefs. YMMV!

well, the title of the thread was Mid-Life Affairs that Implode. You can start your own "Mid Life Affairs that worked out great" thread!

NP. Why start another thread? It's on the same spectrum... first it implodes, then the aftermath happens.

Many posters think the cheaters will always cheat. Not many will take them back because they don't want to be a nurse maid to an old sick geezers. They made the bed, they can lie in it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For every horror story told her there are stories to the contrary. This crowd here is desperate to find anecdotal support for their moral dogma. Realty is different and more convoluted than these simple beliefs. YMMV!

Only 5% of affairs turn into a marriage and 60% of those divorce.

So the math is actually ... for every 98 horror stories, there are 2 stories to the contrary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was not physical -- only cyber.

Reconnected electronically with a HS GF; in HS, we went to third base, but no farther.

She was going through an ugly divorce, I was very unhappy in my marriage and life in general. She lived a several hundred miles from me. She did not have the money to travel, and I did not have the excuse to travel.

We sexted intensely. [i] My wife suspected something was up, and hacked into my iPad. She read the conversations.... things got ugly. As this discussion went further, I slowly realized this relationship is not going anywhere. She had become an evangelical Christian since HS whereas I am secular/atheist.

We broke off the conversations texted from 2012 to 2013. It took until 2014 until things settled down at home. I apologized, while making it clear that there was never an in-person relationship. I do not know if she believes me or not.

For how long? Was it a few times or over an extended period of time? Any "love" type messages or just sexual?

My take is that women will take the emotional type messages relaying affection/love/longing much harder than the x-rated stuff.

It went on for about 1 year, but hot and cold. No love type messages, at least not from me.

Do you regret having the cyber affair? Or do you miss it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone that left his wife and kids for a stripper. Sex and coke plus endless money from his father's pocket kept the fire going. He moved his wife and kids out, moved slutty in. 6 months later during a drugged, drunken fight, pole dancer pulled out a gun and shot herself in the head in front of him.

Well it was a hell of a good time while it lasted, so there's that, heh heh heh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - as others have said, don't focus on him getting his due. Focus on you. I went through this too and someone told me, "the best revenge is to have a good life".

OP here, great advice and I am trying so hard to do this. But, I can't get either one out of my mind. STBX has a gambling problem (currently going to GA) and was severely emotionally abused as a child (thought the love of a good wife could fix that). So he has some serious unresolved issues. His affair partner is superr needy, divorced for about 8 years, not dated since, and has a couple of pretty wild kids. I can't help but think this is a recipe for disaster. I want to move on and live a great life, but a small part of me lives for the day their little utopia crumbles. Thanks for all the great storiies, I appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - as others have said, don't focus on him getting his due. Focus on you. I went through this too and someone told me, "the best revenge is to have a good life".

OP here, great advice and I am trying so hard to do this. But, I can't get either one out of my mind. STBX has a gambling problem (currently going to GA) and was severely emotionally abused as a child (thought the love of a good wife could fix that). So he has some serious unresolved issues. His affair partner is superr needy, divorced for about 8 years, not dated since, and has a couple of pretty wild kids. I can't help but think this is a recipe for disaster. I want to move on and live a great life, but a small part of me lives for the day their little utopia crumbles. Thanks for all the great storiies, I appreciate it.

You have your typical addict/enabler. This may not implode, but it won't ever be a normal, functioning relationship. It sounds like you'll be better off without him, so focus on that. It will take some time, but you'll get to a place where you don't care what happens with them.