House guests bringing their own toiletries (or not)

[Anonymous]

I mostly visit family or my best friend, so I just used their stuff for the most part. Mostly because it's a PITA to pack liquids.

I expect the same when they visit me, so I make sure shampoo and soap at least are available. Toothpaste, not necessarily, people usually bring their own since they are already grabbing their toothbrush to pack. I don't normally use a hair dryer, but when my friend visits me I give her mine since she needs one. I don't make her bring her own on the airplane with her...

[Anonymous]

I bring my own stuff when I travel. I don't stock my bathroom for guests--only one full bath in the house. I'm not running a hotel. The only people that stay with us are family; not like they stock bathrooms for guests, either.

It actually makes me a bit uncomfortable when my friend sets out all sorts of toiletry items when I stay with her one weekend a year. We were dirt poor college roommates! She doesn't need to do all that work for me.

[Anonymous]

I bring everything I need except a hairdryer.

[Anonymous]

I bring everything I need but no hairdryer because I don't blow-dry my hair anyway. I like having my own stuff and, frankly, I think using other people's stuff is icky.

However, as suggested by another poster, I do keep a basket of toiletries for guests (shampoo, conditioner, hair spray, deodorant for both men and women, shaving cream, bath oil, soaps, feminine hygiene products, razor, brush, comb, saline, lotion, toothbrush). Whew, typing this up I think this is a lot of stuff. Anyway, it is in the linen closet and I whisk it out when we have a guest. I do the same thing for the guest room (water, chocolates, crackers, books, tissues, writing paper, pens, battery-powered alarm clock, more lotion, charger, USB).

But I do see OP's point. I think that if the same person is visiting regularly (maybe 4-5 times a year) then she or he should be bringing their own toiletries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem to excessively annoyed by this.

I can't imagine caring (or noticing!) that a guest used my toothpaste. And getting annoyed about the hair dryer is just flat out bizarre.

I only have one hair dryer and got very annoyed that a frequent guest alway asked to use mine. Finally broke down and bought a second one. I always travel with everything that I need except a bar of soap.

[Anonymous]

My guest bathroom has a hairdryer, shampoo & soap. No lotion or toothpaste.

[Anonymous]

I always bring my own toiletries because I like my own brands and stuff.

I get it though and feel for you, OP. I would be annoyed if the same person regularly didn't bring her own things especially toothpaste. Hit her off at the head and get her a basket of stuff to keep at your house. I hate the helpless act too. It's so unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

Every time I go to the dentist, they give me a little bag with a toothbrush, toothpaste and dental floss. I buy those things separately, so I just throw those into a drawer in the guest bathroom. Most people bring those things, but every now and then someone forgets, or dc has a friend that decides to sleep over at the last minute. It's nice that their parents don't have to come over just to drop off a toothbrush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem to excessively annoyed by this.

I can't imagine caring (or noticing!) that a guest used my toothpaste. And getting annoyed about the hair dryer is just flat out bizarre.

OP here. You're right. Although I do think that sharing toothpaste is gross no matter what. My frustration is more with this person in general and how helpless she is (can't book her own flight, can't check in for her flight, gets mad that I checked her in 2 minutes after the flight time and she had to board in the C group, etc). Then when she's at my house she needs to borrow a million things that she asks me for when I'm in the middle of doing something else because she doesn't want to bother buying anything travel sized although she travels several times per year.

Any friend who comes to stay with me--I'm happy to provide anything they need. This person--gets on my last nerve, so the requests are just icing on the cake. It's a family member, so I can't just not allow her to stay with us.

As with all people (friends, family or lovers), it is exponentially worse when you don't really like the person.

We have 2 guest rooms that are pretty well stocked. My BIL (30yo) brings nothing and asks us for everything. He has been to our house like 20 times and doesn't seem to be able to find the linen closet and it isn't because he is trying to be polite. He also asks to borrow items and I have to go searching after he leaves since he never returns the item. He tends to eat so much that there isn't any food left for me. I have a baby and sleep deprived so all the crap he does just annoys me more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I provide shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, and body wash. If they genuinely forget something, that's totally fine. If it were every time/on purpose, I would let them know they are welcome to borrow my car and go to CVS.

So if someone asks to borrow your hair dryer, you are going to say no and tell them to go to CVS and buy one. I call BS.

Take a deep breath and calm down.

No one has ever asked me to borrow a hair dryer. I have two and would happily give them one.

Take a break. If you feel the need to make a "shocked" face and call "BS" over this, you need to relax.

Who cares what item it is. No sane person is going to send a houseguest to the store for something that is already in the house.

If it's a very close family member or friend who does this REPEATEDLY and it is obvious that they are just totally mooching? Yeah, I'd send them to CVS, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I provide shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, and body wash. If they genuinely forget something, that's totally fine. If it were every time/on purpose, I would let them know they are welcome to borrow my car and go to CVS.

So if someone asks to borrow your hair dryer, you are going to say no and tell them to go to CVS and buy one. I call BS.

Take a deep breath and calm down.

No one has ever asked me to borrow a hair dryer. I have two and would happily give them one.

Take a break. If you feel the need to make a "shocked" face and call "BS" over this, you need to relax.

Who cares what item it is. No sane person is going to send a houseguest to the store for something that is already in the house.

If it's a very close family member or friend who does this REPEATEDLY and it is obvious that they are just totally mooching? Yeah, I'd send them to CVS, too.

Our close family members will go to cvs or target to buy stuff for US. I like to be stocked so we usually have enough for all. I have never had anyone ask for facial wash and lotion. Everything else is in the guest bathroom including extra toothbrushes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem to excessively annoyed by this.

I can't imagine caring (or noticing!) that a guest used my toothpaste. And getting annoyed about the hair dryer is just flat out bizarre.

OP here. You're right. Although I do think that sharing toothpaste is gross no matter what. My frustration is more with this person in general and how helpless she is (can't book her own flight, can't check in for her flight, gets mad that I checked her in 2 minutes after the flight time and she had to board in the C group, etc). Then when she's at my house she needs to borrow a million things that she asks me for when I'm in the middle of doing something else because she doesn't want to bother buying anything travel sized although she travels several times per year.

Any friend who comes to stay with me--I'm happy to provide anything they need. This person--gets on my last nerve, so the requests are just icing on the cake. It's a family member, so I can't just not allow her to stay with us.

OP, I almost never recommend this but ... it is time to jump right in to play the Passive Aggressive Game right back at your relative. You 'forget' until hours too late to check her in for boarding groups, whatever her preferred brands are you need to switch to something she doesn't like, and oh by the way one of the kids dropped the toothpaste in the loo so be a dear and won't you run out to CVS for a new tube, etc. Unless this person is a step-child (in which case, DON"T DO THIS), I would start throwing her passive aggressive behavior right back at her. I can guarantee you that it will escalate for a bit and then it will completely extinguish. Sometimes to stop a fire you need to start a fire. It is time for her to start being independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I find it weird that you're so bothered by this. Presumably she's a good friend or she wouldn't be staying...so who cares if you have to shares stuff. "

+1

I suspect this is not a friend but an in-law.

[Anonymous]

One kinda unusual thing, I bring a pillowcase from home and a towel. I tend to get make-up on the host's otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One kinda unusual thing, I bring a pillowcase from home and a towel. I tend to get make-up on the host's otherwise.

I bring my own pillowcase because it's silk and doesn't snag my curls and make them frizzy.

I bring my own toiletries if I'm staying with someone I don't know well. I stocked my parents guest bathroom with full size containers of what I use so I don't have to fly with any of it when I visit. I stay 2 weeks at a time, so travel size wouldn't work anyway.

I also frequently stay with my cousin and his wife and just use his wife's things. We lived together back when they were dating and have no issue sharing.

I keep a basket in my guest bath full of hotel samples, random travel sizes I've grabbed at Target, and other samples I've collected.