Grandparents delighted by colicky baby

[Anonymous]

Actually that sounds funny. You need to lighten up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually that sounds funny. You need to lighten up.

it's funny once. Maybe twice. Beyond that it's rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually that sounds funny. You need to lighten up.

You join in the gas lighting fun in your family. Lovely.

It's easy: when someone says she's hurting and asks you to stop, you stop.

It's called kindness. Hopefully you're teaching your kids to expect kindness and consent for themselves too.

[Anonymous]

Don't take their calls. If they ask why tell them you have a colicky baby to deal with and no time for unsupportive people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a colicky baby who had trouble sleeping for years, I have heard about this my entire life from my parents. I'm now a new parent to a colicky 5 month old and my parents are gleeful that this is happening to me. They call regularly to ask how many hours of uninterrupted sleep I've gotten and then laugh, say something about karma, and announce it's time for tennis at the retirement community. It was humorous the first few times but I am exhausted and losing it, I can't imagine being so resentful of my child that I delight in their misfortune 30 years from now. I think I need to stop taking their calls.

It's acid reflux. Cut out all dairy asap and out child on nutramegin formula and Zantac drops in each bottle.

[Anonymous]

My mom is this way. Growing up, I remember her openly wishing we would have children just like us (and she never meant that as a good thing). She still complains about colic, about typical two year old stubbornness, that sort of thing.

My sister was struggling with her toddler one day, and our mom, with this horribly smug tone says "You were such a little shit at that age. Karma's a bitch, isn't it?" and a nasty little self-satisfied smile on her face. I was horrified. My sister burst into tears. Apparently, this was an ongoing pattern of behavior and hardly the first time such things were said.

And mom wonders why we all keep her at arm's length.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is this way. Growing up, I remember her openly wishing we would have children just like us (and she never meant that as a good thing). She still complains about colic, about typical two year old stubbornness, that sort of thing.

My sister was struggling with her toddler one day, and our mom, with this horribly smug tone says "You were such a little shit at that age. Karma's a bitch, isn't it?" and a nasty little self-satisfied smile on her face. I was horrified. My sister burst into tears. Apparently, this was an ongoing pattern of behavior and hardly the first time such things were said.

And mom wonders why we all keep her at arm's length.

Tell Mom karma is a bitch and as she ages you will treat her as she treated you when you were a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, that is ridiculous and just plain mean. OP, you do not need to have a sense of humor about it because it's not funny! Next time they ask how long the baby slept, don't answer. Instead, say: "I'm having a tough time right now, so I don't find the jokes about my colicky baby funny. Please stop." Don't provide the ammunition for this obnoxious "joke" to continue.

This. Exactly, this.

[Anonymous]

Regarding the White people problem: my Korean friend's mom left her high and dry with a sick baby in the NICU, a 2 year old who was acting out in a big way, and a husband who was tending to his own mom dying of cancer. Korean grandma was retired, no responsibilities whatsoever, just didn't feel like helping because it wasn't fun. I'm extra pissed at this woman for defying her cultural expectations. And sure, I think the grandpa is a selfish jerk too, I don't limit my expectations to women.

[Anonymous]

I would just reply in a calm quiet sad voice "i'm actually having a very difficult time. Who helped support you through it all?... because that's really what I really need right now. Not this."

If this doesn't work, and they try to keep the dumb joke running, casually bring up that you are in therapy. When they ask why, let them know that it is because you don't want to turn out like them with unprocessed rage 30 years later over your challenging newborns first year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't take their calls. If they ask why tell them you have a colicky baby to deal with and no time for unsupportive people.

This, or take call and explain to them that you will not be communicating with them as long as they celebrate the difficulty of your baby. Then hang up.

[Anonymous]

My parents were like this and the problem is,OP, this is just the beginning. Next when she was 2 and throwing tantrums, they delighted and enabled her. "Come to granny. I won't tell you no like your mean mommy, here, have some ice cream". When she's 5 and having trouble behaving in school, "oh you were like that, but we had rules and consequences. Maybe you need to spank her". When she's 12 and hormonal is the best. Actual laugh out loud in my face when my DD said something teenagerish. "She thinks you're stupid! Lol". Thatbis a quote. Start setting boundaries now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is this way. Growing up, I remember her openly wishing we would have children just like us (and she never meant that as a good thing). She still complains about colic, about typical two year old stubbornness, that sort of thing.

My sister was struggling with her toddler one day, and our mom, with this horribly smug tone says "You were such a little shit at that age. Karma's a bitch, isn't it?" and a nasty little self-satisfied smile on her face. I was horrified. My sister burst into tears. Apparently, this was an ongoing pattern of behavior and hardly the first time such things were said.

And mom wonders why we all keep her at arm's length.

Whoa. See I've never seen that kind of malicious vindictiveness ever in my family.

As far as the OP's parents - same, I mean yeah I can see how its funny from the parents end. But 30 years of holding onto that grudge is a bit...manic. My parents call me their miracle baby and never let me forget it, I think I appreciate that much more now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is this way. Growing up, I remember her openly wishing we would have children just like us (and she never meant that as a good thing). She still complains about colic, about typical two year old stubbornness, that sort of thing.

My sister was struggling with her toddler one day, and our mom, with this horribly smug tone says "You were such a little shit at that age. Karma's a bitch, isn't it?" and a nasty little self-satisfied smile on her face. I was horrified. My sister burst into tears. Apparently, this was an ongoing pattern of behavior and hardly the first time such things were said.

And mom wonders why we all keep her at arm's length.

Wow, are we related?