In your opinion, is 26 "young" to have a first baby?

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 26 and now we're having our fourth at 37. I'll let you guess which one has been easier on me physically

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had my first at 26 and now we're having our fourth at 37. I'll let you guess which one has been easier on me physically

Ooh, let me guess! Pick me!

Uh, the first pregnancy where you didn't already have 3 kids to chase around for the past 10 years?

[Anonymous]

It's young for this area. It's not "too young" as long as you have your career in order. Probably a bad idea to have a child at 26 if you still want to go to an expensive graduate school without a clear career path, or enter into a career that has a long "apprenticeship" period like law or medicine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion, yes its young. My sister had her kids young (started at 26) and now she is late 40s with an empty nest. She is highly educated and she and her DH live in a wealthy area (not DC). The major downside, she says, is that they are so out of step with their friends from college in terms of life phases that they lost touch with most of them and she says they are always the youngest parents in any setting, in some cases by 10+ years. So she's found it difficult, at times, to connect with parents of other kids.

Should she have delayed having kids so she can connect better with other parents? That's lunacy.

I don't know. Probably not. I was relaying her experience, which I don't think is so unique and is real. For me, my friends and community are a big part of my life and its made it more enjoyable to go through similar stages of life with good friends. That's it. Just an observation. And I'm not the first person on this board to observe that younger parents sometimes have trouble connecting with older parents and vice versa.

I see.
However, I can't imagine letting such a small thing dictate when to have kids. I because friends with older people. NBD.

[Anonymous]

Ignore them! The insane thing is that fertility starts declining around 27, and yet everyone goes around telling women they should wait until their 30s to have kids. You are at a great age to have kids. I had my first at 26, will have my third by 32. Just think about the plusses of being in your late 30s, when so many women are starting to have children, and having school-aged kids - you can really lean into your career at a time when you have another decade of maturity under your belt. If you are committed to it, you can continue to thrive professionally while having children. Having had two already, I can't even imagine starting a decade later than I did. I will say, get used to everyone having an opinion about you, your age, your kids, etc.

[Anonymous]

Had my first at 28 in London, UK and we were definitely the youngest in our prenatal groups etc. My best 'mom friend' in the early years was 12 years older than me but it truly didn't make any difference to me - why would it? We had babies the same age and could relate to each other. I'm glad now as I've been able to have my fourth at 37. I wouldn't have had that choice had we started our family older. Also, we were such a novelty when we started out - none of our siblings, friends etc had kids so everyone loved our little ones and we got lots of help. Now that my two best friends have just had their first at 37 everyone else is way too busy with their own kids!

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 34 now pregnant at 38. I would absolutely have had kids earlier if I'd met the right guy sooner. 26 sounds perfect to me. I agree with everyone saying you will have more energy and your body will bounce back at that age. I love my son and I'm so happy to be having another, but boy am I tired!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore them! The insane thing is that fertility starts declining around 27, and yet everyone goes around telling women they should wait until their 30s to have kids. You are at a great age to have kids. I had my first at 26, will have my third by 32. Just think about the plusses of being in your late 30s, when so many women are starting to have children, and having school-aged kids - you can really lean into your career at a time when you have another decade of maturity under your belt. If you are committed to it, you can continue to thrive professionally while having children. Having had two already, I can't even imagine starting a decade later than I did. I will say, get used to everyone having an opinion about you, your age, your kids, etc.

Says the person who hasn't experienced any of this yet. Having school-aged kids isn't really a great time to be "leaning in" and I don't think it will be as easy as you think it will be. School-age is where things really pick up in terms of logistics and activities and the kids needing you to have a flexible schedule and needing YOU, not a surrogate caregiver. It's actually a lot easier when they're young and you're dropping them at a daycare every day.

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 24. Loved every minute of being with her at that age. I was very active and engaged but usually always the youngest parent in social settings which never bothered me. Now I'm 37 having my second and the pregnancy has been great and I'm also enjoying it again. I'm more settled and in tune with everything this time around. My career is stable and I'm a well seasoned parent. My oldest is thrilled to finally have another sibling even though he'll be much younger..but she's been a ton of help already. No one can dictate or determine for you the perfect time to have a child. Enjoy your pregnancy and good luck!

[Anonymous]

most of the people in my friend group/social circle were in grad/professional school or had just finished school and were just starting their careers at age 26 (and many of us had either just gotten married or were engaged) so yes, it would have been young for any of us to have kids at that age. However, it sounds like you're in a different place so it works for you. That's all that matters.

And, as others said, you will get those comments no matter what. I had my first baby at 30 after being married 3 years (and in a relationship w/ my spouse for 9 years total), being established in my career, being financially stable and responsible and I still got a few people (including close relatives, co-workers, friends) commenting that I was young to have a baby.

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness.... 26 is not too young. This may have a lot to do with cultural differences and cost of living in this area. I grew up in NC and lived in other southern states until just recently. Most if not all of my friends had babies in their 20's. Some proceeded with successful professional careers while others decided to stay at home. I think the biggest difference is the cost living and cost of childcare. When day to day life is much more affordable, many more decide to have children earlier. I am 33 and expecting my first baby in January while all of my long-time friends have children in elementary school. For me, I am the strange one among my friends and family for waiting until my 30's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pregnant with my first and just starting to announce and people are surprised and saying I'm "really" young to be having a baby. I'm 26 and married, not 17! We both have good jobs and I'll be returning to work after the birth.

It is the perfect ahe. You will be 50 when child is on his own and You can do whatever you want. I had my first at 27 and youngest at 35 (he was a surprise). All will be out of house, educated, and on their own and we will be foot loose and fancy free at age 60. Congrats and good luck.

[Anonymous]

26 is the perfect age for a first baby. Anytim in your late 20s is ideal, really.

This are just has a lot of really old first time moms. I had my first baby at 33. I lived here most of my pregnancy and I often got the "your so young" comment. Everywhere else I went, including where I moved out west, I was on older first time mom.

It is just this area.

[Anonymous]

It is definitely young for this area. I was 27 (actually like 6 weeks before my 28th birthday) and none of my friends had children for several years after me. I'm 34 now and of the people who are the same age as I am, still have many childless friends. The ones who do have kids have babies under a year old.

[Anonymous]

26 is young for DC. That's the reality.

I'm 35 and recently relocated from DC. Everyone here thinks I'm either much younger than I am because of my pregnancy, or I'm some horribly old hag and can't believe I'm having my first at this age. Although, frankly, even if I had spent that last decade-plus somewhere other than DC, I still would not have embarked down this path any sooner.