Moved to the burbs and hate it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where in the city did you live? Because just across western in CC Maryland is almost the same as living in most of Northwest. Or were you downtown or in DuPont or Georgetown? If that's the case - I hear ya. We left when our first was 2. I realized soon after we should've and could've stayed at least a few more years. Walking to parks and shopping etc is actually easier with a kid in a stroller versus the contact in and out of the car! We lived in an elevator building so maybe I am biased. Could not have done it as easily with lots of stairs! We had number 2 soon after and I still wish we were in the real city. I think by the time they are both in school and playing sports etc - I will appreciate the house and driveway but for now I miss walking everywhere.

Yeah I lived in DuPont Logan. Now I'm in Bethesda

[Anonymous]

I think Op is having one of those identity crisis moments, when all of a sudden you realize you aren't as hip as you wanted to be or thought you were. Op probably had a lot if her identity wrapped up in being an edgy city person and now she's Boting Suburban Mom in a minivan.

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe you will feel differently once you get more settled?

I moved from DC to Arlington and then Fairfax when I bought a house. I realized fairly quickly that Fairfax was further out than I wanted to be, but it was cheap, so I ended up just not spending much time there. My life was in DC and Arlington. Eventually I sold and moved back to Arlington, which is perfect for me.

I considered moving back to DC, but there are certain advantages of living in the close-in suburbs. I actually like it quieter at night, and the schools are better. I can walk to things but I can also park my car in my driveway, which is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I'm having a lifestyle crises. I'm not young. I've lived in a city proper since I went to university in 1995. Living in tranquility is very new to me. Just looking for similar experience words of wisdom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I'm having a lifestyle crises. I'm not young. I've lived in a city proper since I went to university in 1995. Living in tranquility is very new to me. Just looking for similar experience words of wisdom

6 of my friends and I can walk on your block shitfaced at 2:30 AM screaming and laughing, would that help?

I was going to suggest that we stand on your corner and heckle pedestrians, but you lived in Dupont/Logan so I don't think that would ease your homesickness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I'm having a lifestyle crises. I'm not young. I've lived in a city proper since I went to university in 1995. Living in tranquility is very new to me. Just looking for similar experience words of wisdom

6 of my friends and I can walk on your block shitfaced at 2:30 AM screaming and laughing, would that help?

I was going to suggest that we stand on your corner and heckle pedestrians, but you lived in Dupont/Logan so I don't think that would ease your homesickness.

Lol!!!!!

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds to me like you are possibly projecting ambivalence about your new life circumstances onto your location. Being a mom with two small kids is a wrenching change of identity, and can feel isolating no matter where you live. You are feeling the loss of your earlier freedom and it's easy to transpose that on to city v. suburbs.

I'm a happy suburbanite, but I very much remember feeling out of sorts as the parent of two young kids. I agree with others that your sense of connection to your neighbors and neighborhood will grow tremendously when your kids start school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds to me like you are possibly projecting ambivalence about your new life circumstances onto your location. Being a mom with two small kids is a wrenching change of identity, and can feel isolating no matter where you live. You are feeling the loss of your earlier freedom and it's easy to transpose that on to city v. suburbs.

I'm a happy suburbanite, but I very much remember feeling out of sorts as the parent of two young kids. I agree with others that your sense of connection to your neighbors and neighborhood will grow tremendously when your kids start school.

This.

OP, are you on maternity leave? Being home with a newborn in a new place can feel especially isolating. It will get better! I miss the city too but love our community, neighbors and schools. We're near downtown Silver Spring, though.

[Anonymous]

Well, you can continue to wallow in your misery or you can determine to be happy where you are. I suggest the latter. See if there are local groups you could join to meet neighbors, get involved in your community.

[Anonymous]

We liked DC, hated Arlington, and love where we are now in Fairfax. Arlington managed to combine the worst of city living (crowded, lots of concrete and cookie-cutter apartment buildings) and suburban living (nasty Stepford moms and boring dads). If your current neighborhood isn't for you, plot your next move. Life is too short to be stuck somewhere you don't want to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you OP. It sounds like you are in one of the nicer suburbs but your post did make me feel slightly better about staying in DC. We have a 3 BR detached bungalow and a yard and the area is up-and-coming with new bars and restaurants opening, but there are shootings every week or so a few blocks away. We are past the free DC pre-school years and DH is making noises about moving before older DD hits HS. I know he is full of it because he hates commuting even more than I do.

Lovely. You couldn't pay me to live in that type of neighborhood, especially with kids.

+1 this is a dealbreaker, no amount of cool restaurants and bars could make up for this (and I live in the city)

Why are shootings a deal breaker but injury or death by auto accident isn't? I don't think the odds of either is particularly high.

NP. Um, for one, there is not an auto fatality a few blocks away every week. There is something to be said for peace and quiet. I'd rather not hear gunshots, whether the bullet is for me or not.

[Anonymous]

People, you really need to do your research before buying the most expensive thing in your life.

We took more a year to decide where and how we wanted to live, and an additional year to actually find a house that suited what we had in mind.
No regrets now.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's just about city vs. burbs. It's also about your age and stage of life. Burbs can be easier for the growing family while the city has more to offer for the singles and empty nesters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then just move back to your urban neighborhood. There is nothing worse than complainers. No one is keeping score or anything.

+1

Seriously, this OP lost me at "just over the DC border...walkable to metro...AU..."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think Op is having one of those identity crisis moments, when all of a sudden you realize you aren't as hip as you wanted to be or thought you were. Op probably had a lot if her identity wrapped up in being an edgy city person and now she's Boting Suburban Mom in a minivan.

+1