Do you think your teen is smart enough to become a doctor*?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or any tough career where you need a lot of brain power and credentials*

I was surprised to hear a dear friend say her daughter "just doesn't have -it-." I took that to mean she thinks her daughter is sort of stupid. Her daughter is 14 (and seems pretty bright to me)! I can't imagine lowering the bar or expectations already. I think you over prepare kids so they can pursue whatever they want at college. It seems her daughter is going to be nudged away from many fields long before college. Sad.

Just sticking with your example of being a doctor, I would say the same about my child. It's not that I don't think my child isn't bright it's that I know that going to medical school really requires dedication, desire and lots of hard work and sustained effort. My child is smart enough and when he studies can get A's but I also know he is just as likely to not study and be ok with a B.

The best doctor I know where the B types. Phenomenal in their work and also have goo family life as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or any tough career where you need a lot of brain power and credentials*

I was surprised to hear a dear friend say her daughter "just doesn't have -it-." I took that to mean she thinks her daughter is sort of stupid. Her daughter is 14 (and seems pretty bright to me)! I can't imagine lowering the bar or expectations already. I think you over prepare kids so they can pursue whatever they want at college. It seems her daughter is going to be nudged away from many fields long before college. Sad.

I don't think this is mean. I think it is realistic. No one knows their child better than the parent. You may want your kid to be a brain surgeon and push them in that direction but you are just making them miserable and you very poor paying for an education that they can't get through and they will end up feeling stupid cause they can't. Everyone can't be a * (you name the profession). I have met to many people who have had family have huge expectations on them and they were just average people not nuclear engineering types. They end up miserable for most of their lives till they figure out that they don't have to live up to others peoples wants and needs. If they don't figure it out they just end up miserable for a life time. I commend this parent realizing her daughter isn't going to be winning the nobel prize in physics. Doesn't mean she is going to discourage or lower the bar, she just set the bar realistically

False.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its really hard to get into med school in the US. I worked extremely hard in college to have the "whole package" because you really need to just to get an interview. Now, I'm in med school and its about 1000x harder than college. I imagine residency will be even more challenging. So, when I say that not everyone can do it, its not because people aren't smart enough, it just takes a lot of stamina.

Meh. Not really. I got into several. Decided I'd rather be a preschool teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its really hard to get into med school in the US. I worked extremely hard in college to have the "whole package" because you really need to just to get an interview. Now, I'm in med school and its about 1000x harder than college. I imagine residency will be even more challenging. So, when I say that not everyone can do it, its not because people aren't smart enough, it just takes a lot of stamina.

Meh. Not really. I got into several. Decided I'd rather be a preschool teacher.

https://www.aamc.org/data/facts/applicantmatriculant/157998/factstablea24.html

[Anonymous]

I read somewhere that you need an IQ of 120 or above to I cede in most professions. My kids both have IQs well above that, per third grade testing for private school. Both ended up in public magnets for high school. One of them is "school smart" and always puts in the maximum effort to get an A. The other is happy with Bs. We always joke that the B-earning kid is never going to burn up academia, but will probably end up inventing/creating something really lucrative. Kids are different....

[Anonymous]

^^^ Ugh, "to succeed" not "I cede"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doctor here and I hope my kid is smart enough to become a plumber.

This made me spit out my drink!

sounds like my dad- who was a general surgeon for years and then an OB- he referred to himself as a manual laborer. He had a lot of respect for people who work with their hands- surgeon through mechanic.

I don't know- maybe i'm taking things for granted but I'm Pakistani and other than a scant handful everyone in my family extended and immediate who is not a SAHM is a physician and we can't all be geniuses- i think its also just deciding on something and making it happen for yourself. Thats like- 15/20 people are physicians and the other 5 have graduate degrees in engineering/JDs or are IT/Software engineers. Only have 3 cousins who didn't finish college out of like 100 and one of them is just a mess. Its just as much about expectations, focus etc. then, right? The kind of college varies from Oxford/Cambridge to UMBC/george Mason but its still college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fwiw- my contractor is one of the smartest people I know.

Based on what? You have deep conversations with the guy remodeling your kitchen?

Um...yes. When he is in my house for weeks/months, I actually make an effort get to know him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a DD who is more than smart to become a Dr. but will she put in the work? That is an issue. Everything comes so easy to her, and now when it is time to sit down and really study, for you have to study in high school and even if you are as smart as anything, unless you open the book.. Still has great grades, but that won't continue with taking so many AP and Honors classes, she has to really warm the chair, so to say. But, what is driving me crazy is FIL who is constantly telling her that she should be a PA and to stop thinking about being a medical Dr. First, it is none of his business, and second, why not aim higher and then, if it doesn't work out, there will be other options.

FIL is a smart man your daughter would be wise to go the PA route.

ALso, why can't a grandparent give advice on a career?

Because it is none of his business. As long as we can afford it it is my DD's decision and hers alone. If she wants to collect trash, that is up to her. And why would she be better off as a PA than as anything else she might wish to do? Or be a SAHM, or stay at home wife, of WOHM work at home? It is not about an occasional observation, it is about FIL calling non stop and trying to convince my kids that the only two professions worth anything are PA and accountant, yes accountant for a boy, PA for a girl. On and on, non stop, researching schools, telling them which ones to go to. How can you be ok with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a DD who is more than smart to become a Dr. but will she put in the work? That is an issue. Everything comes so easy to her, and now when it is time to sit down and really study, for you have to study in high school and even if you are as smart as anything, unless you open the book.. Still has great grades, but that won't continue with taking so many AP and Honors classes, she has to really warm the chair, so to say. But, what is driving me crazy is FIL who is constantly telling her that she should be a PA and to stop thinking about being a medical Dr. First, it is none of his business, and second, why not aim higher and then, if it doesn't work out, there will be other options.

FIL is a smart man your daughter would be wise to go the PA route.

ALso, why can't a grandparent give advice on a career?

Because it is none of his business. As long as we can afford it it is my DD's decision and hers alone. If she wants to collect trash, that is up to her. And why would she be better off as a PA than as anything else she might wish to do? Or be a SAHM, or stay at home wife, of WOHM work at home? It is not about an occasional observation, it is about FIL calling non stop and trying to convince my kids that the only two professions worth anything are PA and accountant, yes accountant for a boy, PA for a girl. On and on, non stop, researching schools, telling them which ones to go to. How can you be ok with that?

Wouldn't bother me, but I'm from a background where grandparents do this type of thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its really hard to get into med school in the US. I worked extremely hard in college to have the "whole package" because you really need to just to get an interview. Now, I'm in med school and its about 1000x harder than college. I imagine residency will be even more challenging. So, when I say that not everyone can do it, its not because people aren't smart enough, it just takes a lot of stamina.

Meh. Not really. I got into several. Decided I'd rather be a preschool teacher.

https://www.aamc.org/data/facts/applicantmatriculant/157998/factstablea24.html

What's your point?

[Anonymous]

This was my Mom and Dad. It was clear nobody thought I was that smart and my grades were not good. I ended up with a really high SAT, went to a good college, graduated from a top law school with honors and got a job at a top firm. Even after all that I didn't really think I was smart because of the messages I got from my family. It is sad and very damaging. I think I did all that I did to try to prove something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doctor here and I hope my kid is smart enough to become a plumber.

More money in plumbing, actually, than in some medical areas, and an apprenticeship is nearly as hard as getting through a second tier medical school. And no constant threat of being sued out of existence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was my Mom and Dad. It was clear nobody thought I was that smart and my grades were not good. I ended up with a really high SAT, went to a good college, graduated from a top law school with honors and got a job at a top firm. Even after all that I didn't really think I was smart because of the messages I got from my family. It is sad and very damaging. I think I did all that I did to try to prove something.

Therapy.

[Anonymous]

I've learned that many intelligent people have ho-hum jobs. I'm sure some research doctors have very high IQs, but I'd guess most are of average intelligence, and above average drive to succeed.