What is your family dessert policy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't have a policy. I usually let my kids have desert (cookies, ice cream or whatever we have around the house), unless they didn't eat dinner. if they've already had too many sweet things that day, then I say not tonight.

We do exactly the same.

Same here, though it's mostly a piece of candy from whatever holiday or party recently happened since we seem to collect candy at an alarming pace. I don't really keep baked goods around because I will eat them and I don't keep ice cream around because my husband will eat it all. Neither of us is interested in the candy though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for the 'fruit as dessert people' - do you guys not have fruit unless it's dessert? My kids love it; I add it to almost every meal at home. Apple, orange, strawberries, blueberries, bananas, mangoes are consumed throughout the day and also goes into the lunchbox. I might stick a handful of blueberries on the salad I'm trying to get them to eat. Do your kids really accept fruit as different enough to qualify as dessert? Why do you eat so little fruit? Or, when you say fruit, do you mean something more special than an apple or orange?

They don't eat "so little fruit." They just don't want to eat a real dessert very often.

I like fruit, but it's hardly dessert. If someone served me fruit as dessert (unless it was part of a pastry or ice cream), I'd feel ripped off.

We might be saying the same thing? I'm not sure what your point is. My point is that some posters are saying they serve fruit for dessert. If that is true, what makes the fruit so special, is it because they don't serve it at other times? If I served an orange for dessert, my kid would say he already had one for lunch. He might still eat it, but would not consider it a dessert or anything special at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't have a policy. I usually let my kids have desert (cookies, ice cream or whatever we have around the house), unless they didn't eat dinner. if they've already had too many sweet things that day, then I say not tonight.

We do exactly the same.

Basically the same.

same here. We are sporadic in eating dessert. They have a lot more sweets in summer, I don't stress about it, both of my kids are on the small side and very active. They also don't obsess over sweets. They are the kind of kids where I can put a cupcake, cookie or bowl of ice cream in front of them and they will eat until they are satisfied, at which pint, they have no problem leaving half the cupcake there, or telling me to put their ice cream back in the freezer to save for tomorrow. I think some of that is personality, but also knowing that that's not the last cupcake they are going to see for 6 months.

[Anonymous]

No policy. My kids can have dessert after supper anytime they would like to. I've seen what happens to kids when parents restrict sugar. It's not good. My kids are in high school and college. All are slim and athletic. Very few cavaties. No health problems despite all the oreos.

A dessert policy? Really? Should I have it in a manual with all my other parenting policies? I must have missed the memo. Guess that's what happens when you don't have policies.

[Anonymous]

We don't eat dessert. We have cakes & cookies on special occasions, and sometimes in the mid-morning or afternoon. There are pretty much always cookies, kisses, and ice cream at the house. Sometimes it's a treat while watching a movie or out running errands, etc. Sweet treats are not tied to a meal, and absolutely never a reward for eating other things. They're just treats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for the 'fruit as dessert people' - do you guys not have fruit unless it's dessert? My kids love it; I add it to almost every meal at home. Apple, orange, strawberries, blueberries, bananas, mangoes are consumed throughout the day and also goes into the lunchbox. I might stick a handful of blueberries on the salad I'm trying to get them to eat. Do your kids really accept fruit as different enough to qualify as dessert? Why do you eat so little fruit? Or, when you say fruit, do you mean something more special than an apple or orange?

They don't eat "so little fruit." They just don't want to eat a real dessert very often.

I like fruit, but it's hardly dessert. If someone served me fruit as dessert (unless it was part of a pastry or ice cream), I'd feel ripped off.

We might be saying the same thing? I'm not sure what your point is. My point is that some posters are saying they serve fruit for dessert. If that is true, what makes the fruit so special, is it because they don't serve it at other times? If I served an orange for dessert, my kid would say he already had one for lunch. He might still eat it, but would not consider it a dessert or anything special at all.

maybe people have different views/terms for dessert, something sweet and treat?

something sweet: fruit, I can see someone telling their kid that if they want something sweet after dinner they can have some fruit.

dessert and treat the same: cake, cookie, cupcake and not fruit

[Anonymous]

We have dessert if we happen to have it in the house which is a few days a week. I don't buy sweets or I'll eat them.

[Anonymous]

Not saying this is great, but this is what we do. Our almost 5yo is highly motivated by the promise of dessert, so she has dessert most nights (unless she's done something really naughty that day). She dilly dallies over her food, especially with meat. We get her to hurry up and finish by threatening that she won't get dessert, at which point she chows down.

Dessert is typically pretty minimal--a marshmallow, 1/2 a two-bite brownie, a tiny piece of dark chocolate, etc. But, just the notion of dessert works to get her to finish dinner in a timely manner.

She's tall and not overweight, and is pretty athletic--does gymnastics, swim class, dance class, etc. Last dentist's visit was recently, and she said kid's teeth look good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for the 'fruit as dessert people' - do you guys not have fruit unless it's dessert? My kids love it; I add it to almost every meal at home. Apple, orange, strawberries, blueberries, bananas, mangoes are consumed throughout the day and also goes into the lunchbox. I might stick a handful of blueberries on the salad I'm trying to get them to eat. Do your kids really accept fruit as different enough to qualify as dessert? Why do you eat so little fruit? Or, when you say fruit, do you mean something more special than an apple or orange?

They don't eat "so little fruit." They just don't want to eat a real dessert very often.

I like fruit, but it's hardly dessert. If someone served me fruit as dessert (unless it was part of a pastry or ice cream), I'd feel ripped off.

We might be saying the same thing? I'm not sure what your point is. My point is that some posters are saying they serve fruit for dessert. If that is true, what makes the fruit so special, is it because they don't serve it at other times? If I served an orange for dessert, my kid would say he already had one for lunch. He might still eat it, but would not consider it a dessert or anything special at all.

maybe people have different views/terms for dessert, something sweet and treat?

something sweet: fruit, I can see someone telling their kid that if they want something sweet after dinner they can have some fruit.

dessert and treat the same: cake, cookie, cupcake and not fruit

Can they eat fruit any time they want or do you limit fruit intake?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't have a policy. I usually let my kids have desert (cookies, ice cream or whatever we have around the house), unless they didn't eat dinner. if they've already had too many sweet things that day, then I say not tonight.

We do exactly the same.

Basically the same.

same here. We are sporadic in eating dessert. They have a lot more sweets in summer, I don't stress about it, both of my kids are on the small side and very active. They also don't obsess over sweets. They are the kind of kids where I can put a cupcake, cookie or bowl of ice cream in front of them and they will eat until they are satisfied, at which pint, they have no problem leaving half the cupcake there, or telling me to put their ice cream back in the freezer to save for tomorrow. I think some of that is personality, but also knowing that that's not the last cupcake they are going to see for 6 months.

+1

I was amazed the first few times my kids gave me back half a dessert.

As a pp said, my kids get fruit with every meal. Fruit is NOT dessert (unless it is dipped in chocolate!). We started this when they were little so we didn't encounter any constipation issues when they were refusing veggies, and it stuck. They get 5-6 servings of fruit and veggies a day - a few cookies won't make a difference.

You can tell the kids that don't get treats...they are the ones shoveling the stuff down their throats when mom isn't looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for the 'fruit as dessert people' - do you guys not have fruit unless it's dessert? My kids love it; I add it to almost every meal at home. Apple, orange, strawberries, blueberries, bananas, mangoes are consumed throughout the day and also goes into the lunchbox. I might stick a handful of blueberries on the salad I'm trying to get them to eat. Do your kids really accept fruit as different enough to qualify as dessert? Why do you eat so little fruit? Or, when you say fruit, do you mean something more special than an apple or orange?

I think we probably eat more fruit than most people, rather than eating "so little" fruit - we have berries for breakfast, we may have apple/banana for a snack, and we'll have fruit like a peach/cherries/oranges, whatever is in season after meals as dessert. To me, "dessert" means something sweet, including things that are naturally sweet, like fruit. I don't insist that they have finished all of their main course before they have fruit for dessert (though I do want them to eat all/most of their main course if they are having a non-fruit dessert, like a cake). But I don't want them to fill up on fruit before they've eaten the chicken or fish or whatever. I think it is also a cultural thing - we are European and I've noticed that my (American) nanny and many of my American friends put fruit out as part of the main meal, but I would never do that - fruit comes at the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for the 'fruit as dessert people' - do you guys not have fruit unless it's dessert? My kids love it; I add it to almost every meal at home. Apple, orange, strawberries, blueberries, bananas, mangoes are consumed throughout the day and also goes into the lunchbox. I might stick a handful of blueberries on the salad I'm trying to get them to eat. Do your kids really accept fruit as different enough to qualify as dessert? Why do you eat so little fruit? Or, when you say fruit, do you mean something more special than an apple or orange?

I think we probably eat more fruit than most people, rather than eating "so little" fruit - we have berries for breakfast, we may have apple/banana for a snack, and we'll have fruit like a peach/cherries/oranges, whatever is in season after meals as dessert. To me, "dessert" means something sweet, including things that are naturally sweet, like fruit. I don't insist that they have finished all of their main course before they have fruit for dessert (though I do want them to eat all/most of their main course if they are having a non-fruit dessert, like a cake). But I don't want them to fill up on fruit before they've eaten the chicken or fish or whatever. I think it is also a cultural thing - we are European and I've noticed that my (American) nanny and many of my American friends put fruit out as part of the main meal, but I would never do that - fruit comes at the end.

So would you say you gave your kids dessert several times a day? I'm trying to wrap my head around the idea that you call fruit at the end of night 'dessert' but if you eat the same thing some other time it's not? Or you are serving lots of 'dessert'. It wouldn't fly with my kids! I guess, like pp observed, it is a name thing. When I say "dessert" I mean a treat, something extra or special, something that is not every day, multiple times a day.

[Anonymous]

I never had a policy per se.

Actual dessert has only ever been eaten on special occasions in our house. I'm thinking cake, pie etc.

We might have a dish of ice cream once in a while, if supper was eaten. Fruit isn't dessert here. They could always have fruit pretty much whenever they wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for the 'fruit as dessert people' - do you guys not have fruit unless it's dessert? My kids love it; I add it to almost every meal at home. Apple, orange, strawberries, blueberries, bananas, mangoes are consumed throughout the day and also goes into the lunchbox. I might stick a handful of blueberries on the salad I'm trying to get them to eat. Do your kids really accept fruit as different enough to qualify as dessert? Why do you eat so little fruit? Or, when you say fruit, do you mean something more special than an apple or orange?

They don't eat "so little fruit." They just don't want to eat a real dessert very often.

I like fruit, but it's hardly dessert. If someone served me fruit as dessert (unless it was part of a pastry or ice cream), I'd feel ripped off.

We might be saying the same thing? I'm not sure what your point is. My point is that some posters are saying they serve fruit for dessert. If that is true, what makes the fruit so special, is it because they don't serve it at other times? If I served an orange for dessert, my kid would say he already had one for lunch. He might still eat it, but would not consider it a dessert or anything special at all.

maybe people have different views/terms for dessert, something sweet and treat?

something sweet: fruit, I can see someone telling their kid that if they want something sweet after dinner they can have some fruit.

dessert and treat the same: cake, cookie, cupcake and not fruit

Can they eat fruit any time they want or do you limit fruit intake?

Oh I was just trying ot rationalize people who say "in our house dessert if fruit." thinking that if kids ask for something sweet after dinner they can have fruit.

personally I fall into the.. my kids eat a lot of sweets/dessert and I don't limit much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No strict policy. Just sort of keep track of it. If they have had some earlier in the day, probably wont offer it after dinner unless it is a special occasion. If they don't eat a good portion of their meal, they don't get dessert.

We just try to teach our kids that treats are ok, in moderation, but that our bodies really need the healthy foods to grow and work properly. All about balance and trying to make sure they have a healthy understanding of nutrition.

Exactly this.

I grew up in a household with plenty of access to junk food and grew into a healthy eater. I have vivid memories of the family friends who weren't allowed more than the occasional carob chip cookie. They were like a flock of vultures when in the vicinity of junk food, so I don't believe in restricting much.