Laser tag party says no siblings. Can I just pay for my other child?

[Anonymous]

If it is the tag in Gaithersburg, there are Chucke-cheese and library nearby (5-10 min drive). Just take younger DS there, much more age appropriate. I wouldnt want my younger kid playing arcade games for 2 hours...
I dont understand the issue of not dropping off your past K aged kid at the party? You let him go to school by and stay there without you, right? Also public space.

[Anonymous]

I think this will be ok if and only if:

1. This is a drop off party, and
2. The place is big enough that your DH and other kid won't be seen at all by the people at the party

If either of those two things are not true (like paying for your kid to jump in the same area...really?), you need to decline or DH needs to take the other kid somewhere else, even it is the Chick Fil A or McDs down the street.

When you bring siblings somewhere they can be seen you are forcing the host to accommodate your other kid(s) when they specifically asked you not to bring them. Seriously - who isn't going to offer your 4 year old kid a slice of pizza or a cupcake while they are standing there? It is ok to decline.

[Anonymous]

We just had this with my daughter's party. Mother RSVP'd for the child my invited (and specified that the invite was for that child vs her younger child.) But showed up with the younger child (who was old enough to participate in the activity.) We ended up caving and allowing the younger sib to participate (and subsequently had to pay for her since we'd already paid for the kids who had RSVP'd/were invited.)

I feel like it is a no win solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Dont expect cake." Seriously? Are there really parents who wouldn't offer a sibling cake? I don't bring siblings to parties but they are often with me when I come pick up and the birthday parent always offers them a piece of cake. I offer cake to the people who work there. You have to be pretty petty to not offer cake to a little kid.

Ok so then you've now beluga your sibling to the party and made rhe party host feed him even though she explicitly said not to. And here's why following that request matters; let's say everyone else dutifully left sibs at home. Well now here's you and yours, tagging along, playing, eating cake, essentially party guests and they're all wondering why they bothered making arrangements for their kids if the host was fine allowing siblings. You put your host in an uncomfortable position of looking like some people were allowed to bring siblings and some weren't.

And maybe there's cake pops. Only enough for each guest. Or whatever. The point is if they say no siblings it's unbelievably rude to bring a sibling anyway and then be like "well he can just play and what kind of person wouldn't give a kid some birthday cake?"

Wow there's a lot of assumptions going on in this. These are the facts:

1. It's a public venue, so DH and sib have a right to be there.
2. Host is under absolutely no obligation, or expectation to accommodate DH and sib. (Hell, the host doesn't even have to know!)

Everything else is your pessimistic assumption for which I am sorry for whatever experiences you've dealt with you lead you to be so negative.

Just because you have a 'right" to do it does not make it polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just had this with my daughter's party. Mother RSVP'd for the child my invited (and specified that the invite was for that child vs her younger child.) But showed up with the younger child (who was old enough to participate in the activity.) We ended up caving and allowing the younger sib to participate (and subsequently had to pay for her since we'd already paid for the kids who had RSVP'd/were invited.)

I feel like it is a no win solution.

Would you have been able to say no but just didn't want to say no to not hurt their feelings? I think we'd all like to say that we would turn away the kids but reality is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Dont expect cake." Seriously? Are there really parents who wouldn't offer a sibling cake? I don't bring siblings to parties but they are often with me when I come pick up and the birthday parent always offers them a piece of cake. I offer cake to the people who work there. You have to be pretty petty to not offer cake to a little kid.

Ok so then you've now beluga your sibling to the party and made rhe party host feed him even though she explicitly said not to. And here's why following that request matters; let's say everyone else dutifully left sibs at home. Well now here's you and yours, tagging along, playing, eating cake, essentially party guests and they're all wondering why they bothered making arrangements for their kids if the host was fine allowing siblings. You put your host in an uncomfortable position of looking like some people were allowed to bring siblings and some weren't.

And maybe there's cake pops. Only enough for each guest. Or whatever. The point is if they say no siblings it's unbelievably rude to bring a sibling anyway and then be like "well he can just play and what kind of person wouldn't give a kid some birthday cake?"

Wow there's a lot of assumptions going on in this. These are the facts:

1. It's a public venue, so DH and sib have a right to be there.
2. Host is under absolutely no obligation, or expectation to accommodate DH and sib. (Hell, the host doesn't even have to know!)

Everything else is your pessimistic assumption for which I am sorry for whatever experiences you've dealt with you lead you to be so negative.

Since you have already made up your mind, you get the official "THAT MOM" award.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The party thrower will feel obligated to include DH and sibling, especially if it is one of those places where the kids congregate in the party room in between each game and eat and drink in between the games. We get that it would be so much easier to have your other child join in, for your dH to not have to find another location to entertain the other child and for your DH to not have to deal with the shining from the other child that he wants to stay...but he needs to either drop the I ted kid off, or better term arrange a carpool and try to have your DH do pick up after the party.

This!

[Anonymous]

I have never in my entire parenting life encountered ANYONE who has these rigid attitudes about birthday parties that people on DCUM seem to have. Of course someone can hang out in a laser tag place, or chuck e cheese, or a trampoline park, or any other public place with anyone they like whenever they want.

As a parent, if I have a kid with me who wasn't invited to the party, it IS much easier to drop the invited child off and take the other child somewhere else than to try to keep them corralled in the party space but out of the way of the party. So I would recommend that to the OP's husband, since it is actually easier for him that way. But of course he can stay if he prefers.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it is ok as long as your DH keeps the sibling separate from the party. But really, why would you want to do that? Sounds like stress for your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never in my entire parenting life encountered ANYONE who has these rigid attitudes about birthday parties that people on DCUM seem to have. Of course someone can hang out in a laser tag place, or chuck e cheese, or a trampoline park, or any other public place with anyone they like whenever they want.

As a parent, if I have a kid with me who wasn't invited to the party, it IS much easier to drop the invited child off and take the other child somewhere else than to try to keep them corralled in the party space but out of the way of the party. So I would recommend that to the OP's husband, since it is actually easier for him that way. But of course he can stay if he prefers.

No one is going to actually SAY anything. They are going to offer to host your child (after specifically NOT inviting them for whatever reason - money, space, preference, whatever), which may include paying for them to participate, and then offering them food, cake, drinks and a goody bag if they have an extra. The point, is that it is rude as hell to do this - and I always invite siblings unless the space just won't accommodate them. I would never say anything, to the offending party or anyone else, it is just rude.

[Anonymous]

I have an only, so I haven't had this issue myself, but this is just not a problem in my circle of friends. In the last two years, we have been to parties at Rebounderz, Pump it Up, and the laser tag place in chantilly.

One family always brings their older son along, and the dad and the older kid go and do their thing during the party. The pay for themselves, never eat cake, and it seems like they have fun together.

of course, these are technically drop off parties where the parent isn't required to be there, so that does impact.

And like a PP said, those places are FAR. And they are public. Why shouldn't the parent take advantage and do something with the other kids (as long as it is a drop off?)'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never in my entire parenting life encountered ANYONE who has these rigid attitudes about birthday parties that people on DCUM seem to have. Of course someone can hang out in a laser tag place, or chuck e cheese, or a trampoline park, or any other public place with anyone they like whenever they want.

As a parent, if I have a kid with me who wasn't invited to the party, it IS much easier to drop the invited child off and take the other child somewhere else than to try to keep them corralled in the party space but out of the way of the party. So I would recommend that to the OP's husband, since it is actually easier for him that way. But of course he can stay if he prefers.

No one is going to actually SAY anything. They are going to offer to host your child (after specifically NOT inviting them for whatever reason - money, space, preference, whatever), which may include paying for them to participate, and then offering them food, cake, drinks and a goody bag if they have an extra. The point, is that it is rude as hell to do this - and I always invite siblings unless the space just won't accommodate them. I would never say anything, to the offending party or anyone else, it is just rude.

100 % agree with the bolded.

And at any rate, yhy on earth would any hosting family offer to pay for a sibling at a chuck e cheese kind of place? I would say "hey sibling! have fun!" and let them do their thing. But seriously--how often have any of you REALLY had anyone expect you to pay for the sibling? I think it is kind of an invented problem.

And YOUR party may not have the space for another child, but the venue certainly does. There are like, a 100 parties going at these things at any time. Just relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never in my entire parenting life encountered ANYONE who has these rigid attitudes about birthday parties that people on DCUM seem to have. Of course someone can hang out in a laser tag place, or chuck e cheese, or a trampoline park, or any other public place with anyone they like whenever they want.

As a parent, if I have a kid with me who wasn't invited to the party, it IS much easier to drop the invited child off and take the other child somewhere else than to try to keep them corralled in the party space but out of the way of the party. So I would recommend that to the OP's husband, since it is actually easier for him that way. But of course he can stay if he prefers.

No one is going to actually SAY anything. They are going to offer to host your child (after specifically NOT inviting them for whatever reason - money, space, preference, whatever), which may include paying for them to participate, and then offering them food, cake, drinks and a goody bag if they have an extra. The point, is that it is rude as hell to do this - and I always invite siblings unless the space just won't accommodate them. I would never say anything, to the offending party or anyone else, it is just rude.

100 % agree with the bolded.

And at any rate, yhy on earth would any hosting family offer to pay for a sibling at a chuck e cheese kind of place? I would say "hey sibling! have fun!" and let them do their thing. But seriously--how often have any of you REALLY had anyone expect you to pay for the sibling? I think it is kind of an invented problem.

And YOUR party may not have the space for another child, but the venue certainly does. There are like, a 100 parties going at these things at any time. Just relax.

I think that it's not about "the bolded" so much as it is with so many people in this area having either such oversized egos or social cluelessness that they really don't understand why they can't edit invitations to suit their preferences rather than their hosts'. If you really can't (or won't) see why having a sibling parallel playing at a large but finite venue with sibling and peers isn't socially tone deaf and inconsiderate then I guess we have to agree to disagree.

[Anonymous]

Let the kid go off without his Daddy and annoying sibling tagging around. Even if they aren't in the same room, they are still there. Shit, go to a McDonalds play land if you have to. Just let the kid enjoy his party without any family (parents and siblings) hanging around.

[Anonymous]

I probably wouldn't do it, but have had plenty of parents bring siblings along to our parties. I always have lots of cake and pizza, and there are usually one or two kids that don't show for some reason. I'm a more-the-merrier host, only one child so I never have this issue but am sympathetic to parents who are juggling multiple kids.