Stop kids from knocking at dinner time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP with same problem. Our 20016 neighborhood is filled with the entitled narcissistic sons of entitled narcissists--so telling them no directly, repeatedly does not work.

It's just a power trip for the boys in our block. They repeatedly try to interrupt our dinner schedule and then as soon as my son is out here with them--10 minutes later--the neighbor kid suddenly has to go in because their parent has put dinner on their table. It's like their parents rule is important and ours isn't in their minds--they feel entitled to be entertained on their schedule only. Their parents are self absorbed tools and their kids are just the same.

Wow. Aren't you a lovely neighbor.

What exactly would you like the neighborhood boys to do differently? Not ask your son to play? Not come in when their parents call them for dinner? is there a reason you can't eat 30 minutes later so that your son can play with them for more than 10 minutes?

OP here, I know exactly the situation this person is describing. We have a different friend who wants her kids to play during a set time during the weekends. So typical scenario is that her kids will start playing outside, kid comes with parent and knocks, we say 'sure, we'll be there in a few mins once we get jackets on and finish snack', mom waits and chats with us, kids go out and then within 10 mins mom says 'adios'. Why stop over at our house and ask us to play if you know you are going to head back in a few minutes?

I live in a neighborhood like this, OP, and I love it. If kids can't play, I say no thanks. Your child will stop tantruming if you don't give in but I think you'll regret it if you lose if you drive the kids away. I feel like I am so lucky to have this old school place--it is hard to understand how you wouldn't think the pluses outweigh the minuses.

I am assuming your child is young and still needs to be supervised? Mine are a little older and I can leave them playing in someone's front or backyard. They also routinely bike to friend's houses and even around the neighborhood. Of course the "hosting parent" more or less keeps an eye on things. But I think that the kids move around enough, and that the benefits of this arrangement are high enough, that no one is bean counting and keeping track. If I stop to think about it, I'd guess that I probably host the most because of the location of my house. Fortunately I love it and actually even prefer it because then I don't have to go out and collect my kids.

Also... I have to say, in our neighborhood, parents never ever stay unless directly invited. I love my neighbors but I don't want to have to chat for an hour or two every time my kids have a play date! If the kids are entertained with friends, I have a chance to get a little work done. If the parents stay, my time disappears. I think adults see it as an imposition to stick around.

[Anonymous]

I am so thankful my neighborhood is like this with kids knocking on doors. I wish there were even more kids. It's so great for my kids. Ultimately, far more important than dinner being peaceful every night. It tends to be sporadic anyway. This time of year, lots of evening play, but there are months where things are pretty quiet when the weather isn't as good.

If my kids can't play, I just tell the kids. Some parents I'm closer to we text back and forth sometimes to check before sending a kid over, but it's casual and at least on my end all good.

I didn't have this growing up and I love that my kids have this experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP with same problem. Our 20016 neighborhood is filled with the entitled narcissistic sons of entitled narcissists--so telling them no directly, repeatedly does not work.

It's just a power trip for the boys in our block. They repeatedly try to interrupt our dinner schedule and then as soon as my son is out here with them--10 minutes later--the neighbor kid suddenly has to go in because their parent has put dinner on their table. It's like their parents rule is important and ours isn't in their minds--they feel entitled to be entertained on their schedule only. Their parents are self absorbed tools and their kids are just the same.

Narcissistic parent of narcissistic son from 20016 here: this is definitely the logic that my seven year old follows. He does it just to upset you. HTH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put a sign on the door. One side says "Okay to play", the other says "Not today." No confusion there.

I put up a sign too. If I didn't, we would constantly have kids at the door.