how to deal with MoCo administration re autistic child accosting other kids in 1st grade class

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks again to everyone for your helpful suggestions.

The meeting was held yesterday. It was quite disturbing - a lot of new information came out, including an attack by the student on a teacher. Everyone has suffered greatly in this ordeal, and it is obvious that if we had not pushed this, the situation would not have changed.

I'm not doing a good job of communicating what happened because even after nearly 24 hours, it is still disturbing to think about..

But the bottom line is, two things worked:
- 1) we invited the principal's boss, the area superintendent, to the meeting. He sent his deputy, who understood the gravity of the situation and set everything on an accelerated path to resolution (ie, getting the child put in a different placement);

2) one of the parents at the meeting informed the principal he would take out a Temporary Restraining Order to keep the child away from his daughter. He followed-up after the meeting with a fax to that effect.

It is incredibly disturbing that our own school administration did not recognize the damage that was being done by this placement. From my original list of 4 incidents, it grew to 12 -- just from the 7 parents I contacted.

One of the things we asked was that the other parents be informed in a letter from the principal, so that they can talk to their children. Once that happens, the list of assaults and other incidents will likely increase.

It was sadly apparent at the meeting that the principal did not understand why he needed to act to protect the other children. I think our school administration was so fearful of not complying with special needs laws that they minimized the toll on the other students.

It also became apparent at the meeting that all of our children are lagging in reading and writing - the class where the disturbances took place.

If we had not gotten the principal's boss involved and threatened a TRO, things would not have moved so quickly and it is not really clear if anything different would have happened. The parents clearly were not sending their kids back into the classroom if the violent, disruptive special needs student was still in there.

To the PP's point, why is it that the schools are not obligated to inform parents when their child has been hit by another student or injured in any way at school? Sounds like a new law needs to be passed...once I get some more energy I may follow-up on that one! Anyone care to join me?

Thanks again to all who responded, especially the person who sent the link to the official complaint form. Many of us filled that out and left it with the principal, although this situation is now being looked at closely at the highest levels in MCPS.

[Anonymous]

OP, thanks for sharing. What a great solution of a TRO. I still think that autism is a red herring. No child, whether or not the child has a disability, should ever be given any leeway once they become assaultive. Your school is just out of control and I am sorry for you.

As to your point on notifying parents, many of us have an entirely different experience in MoCo schools. I get notified of every single event, regardless of how minor, if one of my kids got hit, pushed, hurt or whatever. Sometimes I get calls over such minor things that I have to remind myself not to get irritated. The only time I would not be notified is if something happened that an adult did not see - which does occur. But, my kids are permitted to go the the principal's office and ask to call home if they need to talk to a parent so if it is bad enough, I have no doubt that I would hear from my kids.

I hope your situation gets better. I was horrified to read that the kids in the class are behind in reading and writing. Obviously this is a younger grade because if the kids had to take the MSAs and scored below expectations, your principal's job would be on the line. If my child was one that fell behind, you can bet I'd be at the school asking for services to catch him up.

I have had my share of complaints about our school, but after reading your story, I really appreciate our school and teachers.

[Anonymous]

OP, Thanks for the update. What a heartbreaker for everyone. Good for you OP for taking action on this. The principal really failed here -- this is one of the most egregious examples of poor school leadership I have ever heard. Maybe your next course of action is finding a new one. Does anyone know how the parents of the boy are doing? I'm sure the students in this class will catch up in their academics. Good luck with all.

[Anonymous]

OP, I thought of this after court today, contact the education reporter at the WaPo or the editor of one of your local community papers. Believe me the principal will jump like a fire has been lit under him/her if you show up with a reporter for a meeting or if you send a letter memorializing the meeting cc'd to specific members of the press.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I thought of this after court today, contact the education reporter at the WaPo or the editor of one of your local community papers. Believe me the principal will jump like a fire has been lit under him/her if you show up with a reporter for a meeting or if you send a letter memorializing the meeting cc'd to specific members of the press.

Yikes! PP, I know you mean well but some of these suggestions make me think everyone's been watching too many "dramatizations of actual events" kind of television.

Please be advised that there are children involved, with and without special needs, all of whom are deserving of privacy, some of which is legally enforceable (i.e., the SN child). Exactly whose best interests (other than "rubber-neckers") will be served by dragging the school's name and reputation through the mud? Hasn't the OP established satisfactorily that the parents have succeeded in making their case? From the OP's report it appears that the school has received the message and is prepared to act responsibly. It would be counterproductive not to allow them the opportunity to do so.

Repeat: Before raising the threat level? It would be counterproductive not to allow them the opportunity to respond appropriately and act responsibly.

Besides which, do you think that the families want their school besmirched before the entire community?

OP, you've done a wonderful job of handling this so far. Please keep listening to your own "better angels."

Good luck and God bless.

[Anonymous]

OP, I was reading the book Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads (or something like that) and it has some good suggestions for how to approach teachers/principals about difficulties at school. You might want to take a look at it. I am really impressed with the thoughtfulness with which you have approached this situation.

[Anonymous]

I'm a journalist and I absolutely agree with 15:00. I think the family of the child who's been involved with these incidents is going through enough right now. OP, I agree that you've handled this beautifully. I am curious: Does anyone know how the family is handling this? Has the family been involved with other parents on any level? I do feel for everyone here.