SuspeCt in-laws gave 3 year old popcorn...how to approach this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh for the love of God. Parents today! And listen, I'm a parent today too.

Here's an idea. Could you use the popcorn your child is not allowed to eat to put in bags and bubble wrap him for his excursions into the dangerous world? There you go.

No you are wrong. This is not a "I don't let my ten year old play in the front yard unattended" helicoptering situation. This is more akin to "turns out seatbelts and bike helmets are a good idea even though we didn't use them in the 70s" situation. If a toddler chokes on popcorn you will be helpless and won't be able to dislodge it. Educate yourself.

[Anonymous]

Phone call:"Hey Margie, Aiden told me he had popcorn here the other day? Oh ok, well we don't let him have popcorn. His doctor calls it a choking hazard, so i don't want him eating it. Thanks again for watching him, he had a great time!...."

The end. Repeat when necessary.

[Anonymous]

Send your son with Pirate's Booty going forward. Looks enough like popcorn they'll feed him that.

[Anonymous]

What are the top choking hazards, other than popcorn, hot dogs, and grapes? Don't want to google and read things I can't unread. I had no idea about popcorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought this was going to be about 3 year old popcorn and was all ready to compare notes about my ILs keeping around cereal so long a spider nested in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are the top choking hazards, other than popcorn, hot dogs, and grapes? Don't want to google and read things I can't unread. I had no idea about popcorn.

Nuts and hard candy. That pretty much covers it I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are the top choking hazards, other than popcorn, hot dogs, and grapes? Don't want to google and read things I can't unread. I had no idea about popcorn.

Nuts and hard candy. That pretty much covers it I think.

Baby carrots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't he have popcorn?

Not OP but popcorn carries a choking risk in kids under 4. It's right up there with grapes and hot dogs. We don't feed it to our toddler either.

Last time I checked a three year old is not a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Phone call:"Hey Margie, Aiden told me he had popcorn here the other day? Oh ok, well we don't let him have popcorn. His doctor calls it a choking hazard, so i don't want him eating it. Thanks again for watching him, he had a great time!...."

The end. Repeat when necessary.

This, except I'd start with the thank you, and then come back to it at the end.

[Anonymous]

Requiring others to keep to your ridiculous standards when watching children is unreasonable.

"Please make sure that all grapes are quartered, food is no warmer than 125 degrees, milk is fat free, eggs are free range ..."

Now if the people watching you kids are unsafe ... don't allow them to watch your kids!

But let me tell you that your boogeyman popcorn fears are bullshit. Yes a couple kids may have chocked on popcorn but there are millions of kids.

You need to stop and think about what the real threats are and stop this "If it only saves one life" nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Requiring others to keep to your ridiculous standards when watching children is unreasonable.

"Please make sure that all grapes are quartered, food is no warmer than 125 degrees, milk is fat free, eggs are free range ..."

Now if the people watching you kids are unsafe ... don't allow them to watch your kids!

But let me tell you that your boogeyman popcorn fears are bullshit. Yes a couple kids may have chocked on popcorn but there are millions of kids.

You need to stop and think about what the real threats are and stop this "If it only saves one life" nonsense.

Right, because these things are clearly comparable. Go away, troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't he have popcorn?

Not OP but popcorn carries a choking risk in kids under 4. It's right up there with grapes and hot dogs. We don't feed it to our toddler either.

oP Here. Was coming back to post this. My nephew choked on popcorn when he was 2.5 and aspirated some. Ended up in the hospital. We also cut up his grapes still for this reason. It's just a personal thing and out of everything that we don't make a big deal out of not having popcorn is the one thing I do feel strongly about.

OP, you do have a very sensible reason for not wanting your kid to eat popcorn. Have you ever told your MIL and FIL about the nephew who ended up in the hospital? I would do so, as it might help them understand. If they're of the "I ate it as a baby and was fine!" attitude, well, the example of your nephew might not work, but I'd still offer it.

Regarding the one time MIL did give him popcorn-- from the post, it seems MIL did not yet know that popcorn wasn't permitted. Is that right? If son had been told by you not to have it, well, you can't expect a child of three to say "Sorry, grandma, I can't have that fantastic-smelling stuff." But if MIL had not been told this by you, you can't really ding her on something she wasn't aware of at the time. So now your DH needs to tell her-: "Mom, I know you didn't know this at the time, but next time -- no popcorn for Junior and here's why...." Her generation did not have the strictures on "choker" foods that we do so don't expect that she would know this stuff without being told.

And then: Stick to your guns. The things you don't permit your child to have are things that many parents do not permit their kids this age to have either-- you are not some kind of outlier or helicopter mom, despite others posting that their kids have popcorn at this age. I would absolutely have your husband -- their son, and the one who should be the primary person handling them in any dispute -- to be there with you and tell them nicely but firmly that here's the list of things your son should not have, and why. If needed, tell them that your pediatrician has clearly said these are forbidden--throw the doctor under the bus on this one! And be clear that BOTH you and DH feel strongly about this and are trusting them to give your son the many, many other tasty things he CAN have.

I hate to say it but in cases like this, depending on the rest of your DIL-MIL relationship....Sometimes the MIL and FIL will heed what their son says but not what their DIL says. They ought to be able to hear this from you and respect it, but they may need to hear it from him instead. And he may have to be the one to be clear that giving son certain foods will make you reconsider having them babysit. Right now it's not a huge thing; your son was fine; approach it nicely and without lecturing, especially because their generation just didn't think about stuff like popcorn and grapes being choking dangers the way we do now. Once they're told, of course, you and DH have to be willing to follow through with some changes re: babysitting, if you find they did go against your directions. That would indicate a lack of respect for you and DH that would be a larger problem.