would this weird you out? in-laws took pictures of our house...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone is comfortable bragging to friends. Not everyone in this "selfie" day and age is comfortable oversharing, believe it or not.

Only the owners of the home should get to "show off" the home, in whatever way they want to, to whomever they want to.

Plus, as a previous poster mentioned...it's not your house, not your accomplishment, not your news to brag about. Stop trying to take the shine from someone else's penny. Be proud as a parent, sure. ASK before you presume to take or share photos of someone else's house!

+1!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone is comfortable bragging to friends. Not everyone in this "selfie" day and age is comfortable oversharing, believe it or not.

Only the owners of the home should get to "show off" the home, in whatever way they want to, to whomever they want to.

Plus, as a previous poster mentioned...it's not your house, not your accomplishment, not your news to brag about. Stop trying to take the shine from someone else's penny. Be proud as a parent, sure. ASK before you presume to take or share photos of someone else's house!

+1!

+10000

AMEN, thank you. I am going to send this to my rude MIL. (This is not OP, BTW - I am amazed that there is more than one person on this earth this rude.)

[Anonymous]

Your MIL is WAY out of line, OP - and should be old enough to know basic manners. Shame on her!

[Anonymous]

For those who agree it is rude: what would you say to MIL? My MIL has done this, and many (many) other rude things, and thrives on the fact that I am raised differently and shocked by her awful behaviors. I would love some snappy comebacks. Not OP here.

[Anonymous]

I've done that with my father in law's houses after he died, and they were on the market to be sold. I generally took photos with people in them, but also of empty rooms to remember them and get ideas of decorating. However, these were extremely expensive houses - 20m and 70m, so it was also because I was a little in awe of how fancy they were. I don't ever plan on showing people, though I may show my daughters when they grow up.

[Anonymous]

My family is from a culture that would do this. They are proud of their child (and families accomplishments).

Also, in many countries big, monster houses like we have in the suburbs are just insane. She wanted evidence because people would not believe that one family would like in a house like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your MIL is WAY out of line, OP - and should be old enough to know basic manners. Shame on her!

Imagine that there are cultural differences between you in rural wherever you live and other people. Open you mind, and your heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who agree it is rude: what would you say to MIL? My MIL has done this, and many (many) other rude things, and thrives on the fact that I am raised differently and shocked by her awful behaviors. I would love some snappy comebacks. Not OP here.

No need to do snappy comebacks--be above that. Clearly set boundaries, and be cordial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who agree it is rude: what would you say to MIL? My MIL has done this, and many (many) other rude things, and thrives on the fact that I am raised differently and shocked by her awful behaviors. I would love some snappy comebacks. Not OP here.

"Meemaw, we're not comfortable with that sort of thing. Would you like another bourbon?"

No need to be snappy, just communicate that you'd prefer she not share private photos with her friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think that it's the fact that they took pictures of my personal space when I wasn't around and that they plan to show this personal space to others in a bragging manner that bugs me.

Like many things they do, however, I know it's a difference in boundaries and what we consider private/shareable - there's no bad intention.

I am a private person and I find it... uncouth (and yes I will get slammed I am sure for that word)... to brag about us using what I consider to be personal information/data/etc.... I don't really like the idea of people I don't know having access (even if it's just photographic) to my space esp when it's to evaluate me- even if it's a positive evaluation.

This would be my reaction exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think that it's the fact that they took pictures of my personal space when I wasn't around and that they plan to show this personal space to others in a bragging manner that bugs me.

Like many things they do, however, I know it's a difference in boundaries and what we consider private/shareable - there's no bad intention.

I am a private person and I find it... uncouth (and yes I will get slammed I am sure for that word)... to brag about us using what I consider to be personal information/data/etc.... I don't really like the idea of people I don't know having access (even if it's just photographic) to my space esp when it's to evaluate me- even if it's a positive evaluation.

This would be my reaction exactly.

Agreed

[Anonymous]

OP again. So would you say anything - I found these pictures recently but they were taken several months ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. So would you say anything - I found these pictures recently but they were taken several months ago.

Damage is likely done, so at this point, I'd let it go. BUT, if your ILs are on social media, I would say something like:

"Bob and Jean, I recently saw the photos you took of our home. We are so pleased that you like the house, and of course we are grateful that you watched the kids while we were away. However, our home is private, and we wished that you had asked us before taking those pictures. We're hoping you didn't share them with anyone, but if you have done so, please stop. And we must insist that you never post them on social media. Our home is our private space, and we need to be the ones who decide who sees what. Thanks for understanding."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband would flip a lid. It's a security issue.

How so?

Yes how exactly is this a security issue? The layout of your house is not private, I'm sure it's in public records somewhere. Maybe if you have piles of cash laying around in the photos that could be a bad idea. Or your SS card laying out or maybe all your passwords up on white board in one room. But honestly, this is so not a security issue.

OP, it's weird but I'd probably let it go. Close and lock doors next time .

You are an idiot if you think this us NOT a security issue.

You trust your parents. Great. They trust their friends. Fine. Maybe you do too. Do you know and trust the son maybe? Who has had some money issues? Oh. And he's a drug addict. You didn't know that. Your folks don't either. Their friends don't talk about it. But quite possibly he might now know the layout, interior, and furnishings (gee! expensive shit. Wow. Looks like they have real silver. Is that a gun cabinet?).

Think it's far fetched? This has happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband would flip a lid. It's a security issue.

How so?

Yes how exactly is this a security issue? The layout of your house is not private, I'm sure it's in public records somewhere. Maybe if you have piles of cash laying around in the photos that could be a bad idea. Or your SS card laying out or maybe all your passwords up on white board in one room. But honestly, this is so not a security issue.

OP, it's weird but I'd probably let it go. Close and lock doors next time .

You are an idiot if you think this us NOT a security issue.

You trust your parents. Great. They trust their friends. Fine. Maybe you do too. Do you know and trust the son maybe? Who has had some money issues? Oh. And he's a drug addict. You didn't know that. Your folks don't either. Their friends don't talk about it. But quite possibly he might now know the layout, interior, and furnishings (gee! expensive shit. Wow. Looks like they have real silver. Is that a gun cabinet?).

Think it's far fetched? This has happened.

ESPECIALLY if these are digital photos they are sharing over e-mail.