Laundry Service at college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP - Look the easiest answer is for him to follow his role as the man with with brains and brawn and meet an equally smart GF and turn on his charms to have her do his laundry for him which, of course, should be her role in any post college living together or married life.......Tell me it has been your role - right.

No, it hasn't been my role. I work full time. I'm not expected to be a domestic drudge, and I have a brain that I use. Honestly, I wasn't asking whether people thought this was a good idea or not, just for details about how services/the situation worked out. Logistically. My son works very hard at school and is a great kid, and it breaks my heart a little bit to be sending him to college on another continent. This will make me feel a little bit better about it. I don't care if other people think this is a bad idea or not: trust me, my family and I don't fit into whatever stereotypical slot you are imagining, but if you want to continue to think so, fine. Thank you to the few posters who offered practical advice in response to my query.

You are still completely missing the point. Nobody cares whether outsourcing his laundry is a good idea. YOU need to stop deciding how he's doing his laundry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP - Look the easiest answer is for him to follow his role as the man with with brains and brawn and meet an equally smart GF and turn on his charms to have her do his laundry for him which, of course, should be her role in any post college living together or married life.......Tell me it has been your role - right.

No, it hasn't been my role. I work full time. I'm not expected to be a domestic drudge, and I have a brain that I use. Honestly, I wasn't asking whether people thought this was a good idea or not, just for details about how services/the situation worked out. Logistically. My son works very hard at school and is a great kid, and it breaks my heart a little bit to be sending him to college on another continent. This will make me feel a little bit better about it. I don't care if other people think this is a bad idea or not: trust me, my family and I don't fit into whatever stereotypical slot you are imagining, but if you want to continue to think so, fine. Thank you to the few posters who offered practical advice in response to my query.

You are still completely missing the point. Nobody cares whether outsourcing his laundry is a good idea. YOU need to stop deciding how he's doing his laundry.

+1. If he wants to pay for it out of his allowance, let him. Let him find the service provider and make the arrangements.

The more interesting question is why he can't/won't do this for himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yeah, it's called give your kid a jar of quarters and a big bottle of TIDE.

(actually, at my kids college the machines have a card swipe and are free for all students to use.)

Is there some reason your kid can't wash their own clothes? part of college life is learning to fend for yourself while still under the protective wing of parents & school.

NP here.

Of all the household chores, there is no learning curve in doing laundry and loading the dishwasher. It takes all of 2 minutes to figure it out. When kids do not do these things it is because they could not be bothered with it, or they have other options or they are too busy.

My kid is a high achieving student and a good kid. I am not going to stress if they do not want to do laundry, as long as there is some way that their laundry gets done. If they can outsource it, then it is great. Being able to outsource efficiently and delegate work is a more useful skill because it teaches you to be resourceful.

Perhaps, but he's not outsourcing it, mom is. Or to put it another way, he's outsourcing it to mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP - Look the easiest answer is for him to follow his role as the man with with brains and brawn and meet an equally smart GF and turn on his charms to have her do his laundry for him which, of course, should be her role in any post college living together or married life.......Tell me it has been your role - right.

No, it hasn't been my role. I work full time. I'm not expected to be a domestic drudge, and I have a brain that I use. Honestly, I wasn't asking whether people thought this was a good idea or not, just for details about how services/the situation worked out. Logistically. My son works very hard at school and is a great kid, and it breaks my heart a little bit to be sending him to college on another continent. This will make me feel a little bit better about it. I don't care if other people think this is a bad idea or not: trust me, my family and I don't fit into whatever stereotypical slot you are imagining, but if you want to continue to think so, fine. Thank you to the few posters who offered practical advice in response to my query.

You are still completely missing the point. Nobody cares whether outsourcing his laundry is a good idea. YOU need to stop deciding how he's doing his laundry.

+1. If he wants to pay for it out of his allowance, let him. Let him find the service provider and make the arrangements.

The more interesting question is why he can't/won't do this for himself.

Exactly. And, as the mom of 3 college students who are good kids and high-achievers (to paraphrase OP's description of her son), I'd say it's less about laundry skills, which are pretty minimal and easily mastered, than about learning to handle all the administrivia of life in an efficient manner. (BTW, if he chooses to do it himself, I'd definitely spring for a big bucket of detergent pods, rather than liquid or powder detergent. You want him to look like the cook kids, right?)

[Anonymous]

She's giving him a thoughtful gift. Funny how it's not helicoptering to have your kid on a meal plan but somehow it's a moral imperative that each kid do his or her own laundry. Both are arrangements that give college students a chance to escape a big part of the overhead of daily living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's giving him a thoughtful gift. Funny how it's not helicoptering to have your kid on a meal plan but somehow it's a moral imperative that each kid do his or her own laundry. Both are arrangements that give college students a chance to escape a big part of the overhead of daily living.

Dorm rooms don't have kitchens and the school usually requires a meal plan. Dorms rooms DO have washers, and the school DOESN'T require Mommy to pay someone to do your clothes.

[Anonymous]

In other words, the amount of work associated with daily living that a college student does is, in fact, not an essentially normative decision -- it's an institutional and/or economic decision. You're not bent out of shape that college lets kids get away with eating meals they haven't prepared themselves. So why criticize the parent who pays to outsource her kid's laundry as well as her kid's cooking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When this kid gets married and expects his wife to do everything, she can thank OP.

Or the son can pay someone to do it then as well. If he has a full academic scholarship, he just might be able to afford a cleaner for his wife in the future.

Ha ha! Exactly!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In other words, the amount of work associated with daily living that a college student does is, in fact, not an essentially normative decision -- it's an institutional and/or economic decision. You're not bent out of shape that college lets kids get away with eating meals they haven't prepared themselves. So why criticize the parent who pays to outsource her kid's laundry as well as her kid's cooking?

It is a case of "sour grapes". What else can they criticize? The fact that OP's son has full ride to college based on his academic record?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the rest of you, not OP who have issues. I am the PP who mentioned that I had it my first year of college.

Even though I was 18 the first time I did my own laundry I grew up to be a fully functioning adult. And as I mentioned to this day I really like doing laundry.

OP asked an innocent question.

Also many of us here on DCUM outsource our cleaning so I don't see what the big deal is. I was personally against it b/c in my experience the services do a crappy job.

OP's son will not be a damaged adult if he doesn't do his own laundry in college. Geez people.

I think people react more harshly to things like this because people feel like as an adult who works and makes a certain income, there is an element of an earned "right" to outsource. Sort of like, been there, done that, feel fortunate to not HAVE to. When you see teenagers and kids outsourcing stuff, well they don't really know any better. They can easily feel entitled, even nice kids.

its kind of like why people have a hard time with parents buying high school and college aged kids designer bags and expensive cars. That kid can't afford that on their own at 22, but they might expect it.

I think some people react negatively to the coddling/ you deserve to not have to do this sort of message it might send.

Except entitled kids do not get full academic scholarships by being entitled. Anyone who has got merit scholarship, they have worked hard at school. If this kid was coddled, he would not be an academic powerhouse.

I find it funny that this has elicited such negative posts on this forum. The work required to run a home - laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, raising kids etc. is usually so derided when it is applied to a SAHM. Most WOHMs cannot do without outsourcing some aspect of their domestic life, yet, a student who has gone to college to study (and has the cash to outsource) should not outsource this chore?

[Anonymous]

While we are at it does anyone know a cleaning lady who will clean my child's dorm.

Oh and a chef so they can prepare fresh organic meals for my child.

A tutor to keep those grades up too.

Oh and a masseuse because they will be tense from all that studying.

[Anonymous]

Most residential colleges have cooks, cleaners, drivers, groundskeepers, and tutors -- as well as doctors, therapists, and career counselors -- whose services are available to all students. Wouldn't surprise me if some athletic departments had trainers and physical therapists as well as coaches on staff. Maybe you should encourage your DC to check out what's available on campus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your child disabled?

Wow! You are a bitchy person.

And since you are an ignorant jerk, let me tell you that there is very few things that people with disabilities can not do.

You are right about that!!!!

[Anonymous]

We made an arrangement with our DD. She would Fed Ex her dirty clothes once a week and we would have her nanny do them and Fed Ex them back the next day. It was a great way for them to stay in touch.

[Anonymous]

It seems that a lot of negative posts about outsourcing laundry has come from people who seem to be real jerks. They have not only failed to answer a simple question that OP has asked but actually been very mean and sarcastic when posting their unsolicited opinions.

It makes me think that they are carrying deep seated anger and resentment because they did not have a laundry service in college.

OP, please provide a laundry service to your kid, otherwise, he may turn into a bitter and jealous person too.