August birthday--nobody's coming to the party

[Anonymous]

Just want to commiserate. My DC#1 is a mid December birthday - we have intentionally to this point (turning 4 this year), kept them small and at our home. It's been a great time. And now I'm due with DC #2 any day now, so am sure I will run into the same problem with this one and people being on summer break! Can't win 'em all. Good luck and your child will have a great time even if it's smaller!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child's 4th birthday Is in early Aug. We organized a party and invited 18 kids, figuring 8 or 9 would show up. Instead only 4 have RSVPed.

I don't know whether to postpone the party til after school begins, hosting it a whole month or more after the birthday, or just go ahead with a super small party. Thoughts?

We hired a venue, so if the party has only 4 or 5 kids, it will cost us practically $100/4-year-old kid.

Have a super small party. Don't make your kid wait for his party.

[Anonymous]

I want to commiserate too. My DD is having a party tomorrow. Only 4 girls they'll have a slumber party. 2 of them have to go to the beginning of the party and then come back a couple hours later. Well I guess it will be low key. It is a tough time of year because everyone is gone on vacation. We are just having it at home and then drop by our pool for a couple of hours. My DD just wants to have a party that's all she seems to care about.

[Anonymous]

Ugh no advice just commiseration. I have an August DC whose 4th birthday is right around the same time. I spoke to the parents of his closest friends to find a date that might work and we're having the party a week early this year. Still invited close to 25 kids and will end up with only about 10 of his friends (plus a couple of siblings). August birthdays are tough. Set expectations early! I keep trying to explain to DC that X friend would love to celebrate with him but unfortunately the family is out of town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest is 26 and I have never hosted one of those huge parties for any of our kids. I personally find it ridiculous. We typically turn down invites to those huge venue parties. I would much rather attend a party with a few good friends hosted in someone's back yard. Cake and Ice Cream, traditional party games, a few balloons and simple decorations, kids running around just playing, ....that's a birthday party! I say go ahead and have it but have it at your house. The kids will have a blast!

I personally find it ridiculous that you typically turn down invitations to huge venue parties. Who cares where the party is and who are you to say a party location is or isn't appropriate? I've been to and hosted birthday parties large and small - just go and make the best of it!

[Anonymous]

My DD was once the only guest (besides the birthday girl's two siblings) who made it to a summer birthday party. It felt awkward and I felt bad for the birthday girl, who my DD hardly knew. I'm glad that at least we went. This was in WV, so not sure if its also an economic thing - maybe people didn't want to go b/c they don't want to buy a gift?

Anyway, my advice to you would be to call every invitee who did not RSVP and see if they are coming and you can explain your dilemma. I did this and am glad that I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just want to commiserate. My DC#1 is a mid December birthday - we have intentionally to this point (turning 4 this year), kept them small and at our home. It's been a great time. And now I'm due with DC #2 any day now, so am sure I will run into the same problem with this one and people being on summer break! Can't win 'em all. Good luck and your child will have a great time even if it's smaller!

Aw, my poor kids! I have a 2yo with a mid-August birthday and a baby with a December birthday. I guess both my kids are out of luck for birthday parties! I had no idea that many people cleared out for the holidays/in August. Sadness.

[Anonymous]

Don't need a backyard -- we had a Bday for my 4 year old and about 9 of her preschool friends just in my house. Set out bagels and brunch stuff for adults and kids alike, and the kids mostly just played with toys in our family room. Everyone enjoyed it. Also, kids that age really like to be the "host" for their friends. I had a few small things planned, like a craft project and pin the tail on the donkey, but they mostly just wanted to play. Get a couple balloons and let them play volleyball.

Also, I'm surprised how many people would be offended by the OP cancelling the party...we're all just trying to do the best we can here, no need to get offended so easily! I would not be offended if you decided to have the party on a date when more folks can come. (You could even invite the folks that did RSVP over for a little playdate.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest is 26 and I have never hosted one of those huge parties for any of our kids. I personally find it ridiculous. We typically turn down invites to those huge venue parties. I would much rather attend a party with a few good friends hosted in someone's back yard. Cake and Ice Cream, traditional party games, a few balloons and simple decorations, kids running around just playing, ....that's a birthday party! I say go ahead and have it but have it at your house. The kids will have a blast!

Of course, you are assuming OP and others HAVE back yards or a house large enough for kids to "run around."

Yeah, seriously. Just because you're a snob for old-fashioned parties doesn't make you any less of a snob than the mom who only like parties at paid venues. Same difference, PP1. And I say that as someone who has thus far only done backyard parties. Parties are parties - stop being so sanctimonious about what's the "better" party for a little kid based on your own personal biases.

[Anonymous]

Are you part of a mom's group or any play groups on meetup? Or do you belong to a church or any other group? I would invite neighbors, friends' kids, etc. Don't cancel.

[Anonymous]

I personally would not cancel the party because of low attendance.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. OP here. I've decided to go ahead with the party.

We will keep the venue.

But I will plan better next year.

[Anonymous]

" At the same time, if I don't cancel I'm afraid a couple of kids will change their RSVP due to last-minute Shenandoah plans or something, then things will be really sad!
"

a Realistic concern. I'd send people an email with all the Tos showing and say "Looks like it'll be a cozy party due to August holidays! Really looking forward to seeing the 4 of you next week!" helps to let people know it would be really crappy to drop out at the last minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Don't worry about angering parents if you have to cancel or postpone. No parent really looks forward to birthday parties. They're a necessary thing for the kids to have social lives, but if you cancel, you've just freed up a weekend afternoon and excused them from buying yet another present- they will NOT be angry, LOL.

I'd be annoyed, not angry, if you outright canceled because you, as the host, decided those that were coming weren't good enough for you. I wouldn't agree to come to another party "hosted" by you.

Yeah, I might not be psyched about going to a kid's birthday party, but if you cancelled because your guest list was inadequate, I might understand why you did it, but I wouldn't be accepting any more invitations from you.

Seriously?? Why would you care? It's something you didn't want to do that you now don't have to do but you would still be upset? Pointless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't need a backyard -- we had a Bday for my 4 year old and about 9 of her preschool friends just in my house. Set out bagels and brunch stuff for adults and kids alike, and the kids mostly just played with toys in our family room. Everyone enjoyed it. Also, kids that age really like to be the "host" for their friends. I had a few small things planned, like a craft project and pin the tail on the donkey, but they mostly just wanted to play. Get a couple balloons and let them play volleyball.

Also, I'm surprised how many people would be offended by the OP cancelling the party...we're all just trying to do the best we can here, no need to get offended so easily! I would not be offended if you decided to have the party on a date when more folks can come. (You could even invite the folks that did RSVP over for a little playdate.)

Not to stereotype here, but 9 4 year old girls in a house with toys *might* be doable. Try 9 4 year old BOYS in a small house with no backyard and just crafts? Uh, not in my house. Yes I COULD do it but if I had the resources, I would do the party elsewhere.