Restaurant asked us to leave after 2 1/2 hours. Should this bother me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'll disagree with the "you're rude" consensus. I don't think you were rude. Being kind of oblivious is not the same thing as being intentionally rude, and it's not the restaurant customer's responsibility to think about the restaurant's bottom line when you're in the middle of socializing with friends. OP does not have to behave in such a way as to maximize the restaurant profits. Like some PPs have said, it was actually the restaurant's rudeness to ask them to leave without being gracious and offering something else--I've worked in restaurants, and agree with PP that it was forbidden to ever ask a patron to leave.

I'm pp who asked OP to imagine the opposite: would she have wanted them to vacate if she was the one with later reservations with friends she hadn't seen in 6 months? We're all oblivious to others at some point, but I think OP asking the question makes people wonder how frequently she is *kind of oblivious* because she is bothered by this. But, only she can answer that. We all know people who are kind of oblivious all too often.

Re the people who said their restaurants would never ask someone to leave, I think it truly depends on the situation. A few weeks ago we were out at a neighborhood restaurant and there was 45 min wait; we ran into 4 families we knew and people were walking in and leaving because it was a crush. There was one table who was sitting around after a half hour and the table had been *promised* to a family "they're signing the check now..." Well, the crowd was getting very angry, it was almost mob-like, and they caved at 45 minutes and asked them to leave. It was kind of funny because everyone waiting was commenting on it since they were in full view of the waiting area.

[Anonymous]

People were waiting, OP.
I couldn't possibly sit there comfortably talking with friends after my meal if others were waiting for me.

And, friends you hadn't seen for 6 months? Come on. I have lived in many different countries, and as a result, I've got good friends who I haven't seen in decades, literally. Imagine how much time it would take in a restaurant to catch up with their life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sitting there after the bill has been paid and you're not still finishing a drink or food is rude, especially in the middle of dinner rush (at least until 9 on weekends). My husband is a restaurant manager and deals with this from time to time by moving guests to the bar, though most people leave because they don't want to spend more money.

Yes! i'm a restaurant manager too and I'm tired of this rude, private clubhouse mentality. If you wanted the table to be yours all night, then you should have done a buy-out. Your measly $60 and change person, which included food and drinks, does not entitle you to the space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were costing them money. And other people were waiting on the tables. You were extremely inconsiderate of the business. I hoped you tipped well to compensate for taking a table away from the server.

(I have been known to linger, but not if it is crowded...and I will tip in a manner such that the server does not suffer from my lingering. that is, if I spent $200/2 hrs, but spent another hour chatting, I would tip as if I spent $300.

This is better but it only covers the waiter and not the business owner. The tip is not given to the business but the business has to suffer by not being able to turn the table. Order some drinks when you're sitting around chatting, and everyone is happy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You were costing them money. And other people were waiting on the tables. You were extremely inconsiderate of the business. I hoped you tipped well to compensate for taking a table away from the server.

(I have been known to linger, but not if it is crowded...and I will tip in a manner such that the server does not suffer from my lingering. that is, if I spent $200/2 hrs, but spent another hour chatting, I would tip as if I spent $300.



This is better but it only covers the waiter and not the business owner. The tip is not given to the business but the business has to suffer by not being able to turn the table. Order some drinks when you're sitting around chatting, and everyone is happy!

Even if you do that, it doesn't cover the people who made reservations and are now having to wait because you're hogging the table. There is an area designed for lingering, catching up, ordering more drinks. It's called the lounge. (Or the dessert place down the street.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sitting there after the bill has been paid and you're not still finishing a drink or food is rude, especially in the middle of dinner rush (at least until 9 on weekends). My husband is a restaurant manager and deals with this from time to time by moving guests to the bar, though most people leave because they don't want to spend more money.

Yes! i'm a restaurant manager too and I'm tired of this rude, private clubhouse mentality. If you wanted the table to be yours all night, then you should have done a buy-out. Your measly $60 and change person, which included food and drinks, does not entitle you to the space.

Can one do this for just one table? Can I make a reservation and say "and I'd like the table for the rest of the evening, so we can stay and talk." How much does that cost at your restaurant?

[Anonymous]

OP, another perspective. You chose the wrong venue for your evening to catch up. If you intend to stay at a restaurant and take up the table socializing (for whatever reason) after finishing your meal, you need to select a restaurant that can accommodate that. You should stay away from smaller venues where they need to turn the table around more quickly. Larger restaurants with more tables are more likely to be able to handle a table not turning over right away. Unfortunately, the majority of the restaurants better able to handle such a situation are more likely to be chain restaurants, but since you were looking for mid-level dining rather than fine dining, there are a lot more options available that could handle your situation without needing you to vacate your table quite so quickly. Think a place more like the Cheesecake Factory, Capital Grille, Legal Seafoods, etc. You'll inconvenience the restaurant and server a lot less at places like that, than at smaller local venues.

[Anonymous]

I eat out a lot in Europe. There, they expect you to use the table all evening. They don't assume people come to eat and leave, they assume that you are out for socializing over nice food. I have to admit that I like it better there, even though the food is more expensive, and so one eats out less often.

In the United States, we just have to make everything feel like a factory. Stand here. Don't stand there. Rush Rush Rush. No clogging the machine. Restaurants in the US actually play music designed to make conversation impossible and to drive people out of the restaurant as quickly as possible. I guess it is okay if you think the purpose of a restaurant is to avoid cooking, as just a way to refuel, but not if you think if it as entertainment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I eat out a lot[/b] in Europe[b]. There, they expect you to use the table all evening. They don't assume people come to eat and leave, they assume that you are out for socializing over nice food. I have to admit that I like it better there, even though the food is more expensive, and so one eats out less often.

In the United States, we just have to make everything feel like a factory. Stand here. Don't stand there. Rush Rush Rush. No clogging the machine. Restaurants in the US actually play music designed to make conversation impossible and to drive people out of the restaurant as quickly as possible. I guess it is okay if you think the purpose of a restaurant is to avoid cooking, as just a way to refuel, but not if you think if it as entertainment.

These types of comments are obnoxious. This is true on the entire continent of Europe, huh? All restaurants in Europe expect you to sit at a table for the entire night?

Not all restaurants in Europe are a tourist-centered French street-side bistro.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I eat out a lot in Europe. There, they expect you to use the table all evening. They don't assume people come to eat and leave, they assume that you are out for socializing over nice food. I have to admit that I like it better there, even though the food is more expensive, and so one eats out less often.

In the United States, we just have to make everything feel like a factory. Stand here. Don't stand there. Rush Rush Rush. No clogging the machine. Restaurants in the US actually play music designed to make conversation impossible and to drive people out of the restaurant as quickly as possible. I guess it is okay if you think the purpose of a restaurant is to avoid cooking, as just a way to refuel, but not if you think if it as entertainment.

And did it occur to you that the socializing time is incurred in the cost of the food?

Also, it's very different in Europe (which is a very board statement, as it encompasses a lot of countries and cultures). Most Europeans aren't out for dinner at 6pm. They certainly wouldn't be sitting at an empty table with nothing to "top up" the house, be it more mezze, a glass of grappa.. Something. Even if you're lingering, there is something that the restaurant is offering you other than a roof, because Europeans also aren't rude about hospitality.

Also, most American restaurants aren't haunted by regulars, as are European restaurants. They are not beholden to people that only show up once a year. If we're comparing, most European restaurants are very different. The regulars set the tone, the finances, etc. They would never inconvenience the owner, because they are familiar. Here, people could care less, as long as they look trendy going somewhere or get what they want.

Most American restaurants have a lounge area to, well, lounge, in. This is the place to hang out if you don't want to see a restaurant as a place to refuel. It costs the establishment less to run this area. THe dining area is for those who want to refuel. Americans have a very different style of working than many areas of Europe, so needing to stagger eating times makes a lot of sense.

OP, your party spanned valuable tables at a key time of night. You came at the earliest slot, and were keeping tables that could have been used for at least 2 parities (a 2 and a 4) past the best times. Three courses should have been able to be served in1.5 hours,a which tells me aside from lingering after the bill was paid, each course was extended. To some degree, it's your prerogative, but you also eliminated this restaurant from seating at very valuable times: 730' (even a few minutes late to bus) 8, 830, and they were looking at another lost seating at 9 if they didn't move you along.

[Anonymous]

I hate people at restaurants like the OP and I'm glad the restaurant did something about it!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it comical that op is so rude and self centered she can't even apply common sense like every one else who posted. Would love to know how obnoxious she is on a daily basis.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it comical that op is so rude and self centered she can't even apply common sense like every one else who posted. Would love to know how obnoxious she is on a daily basis.

+1

I tend to think that the pp accusing op of being obnoxious and ESPECIALLY the "+1" poster who can't even come up with anything to say, other than "+1" are the obnoxious ones for assuming sooooo much about op based on one little post. I guess you all are so enlightened and never do anything that would be considered rude to anybody ever, right?

[Anonymous]

$60/person is a lot of money to me

But we only linger if there are plenty of tables and no line for tables. And usually when my girlfriends and I dont realize it's so late because we get out so infrequently.