DC got accepted to a school we LOVE, but the commute is scaring me. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

I drop off at GEDS Kensington every morning and go downtown during rush hour. I've been doing this for many years. If there's some special horror about it, I've managed to missed it so far.

GEDS is a great school and it's been a warm and caring place for our family and for DCs. But if the commute is going to destroy you then I'm sure NPS is a fine choice as well.

[Anonymous]

Go close by--your child also has to deal with the longer commute and then with parents who are more exhausted because of their longer commute. And if you really want to be involved in the school, it will mean more trips there for events, meetings etc. You have a better chance of being involved if it's close by. Plus add on top of that the friendships your child will establish--then you're trekking to birthday parties and playdates that are 30 minutes + away. While it may seem that one school is a perfect fit, there are no perfect schools--many great schools, but none perfect. Give yourselves some breathing room and stay closer to home.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it. We've carpooled this year to a school about 35 min away (45 coming back in) and we won't be returning. My kid enjoys the time in the car but the time could be so much better spent. All of the commute time really adds up and it is exhausting. Kids get so little down time, almost none with the commute if you do any playdates or activities. Mine is always so sleepy, which just isn't healthy. To get enough sleep she'd have to be in bed by 7 every day and it just isn't possible with our schedules, we often aren't home until well after 6, my husband often not until 7. It's not enough to be willing to be a martyr or take one for the team as the adult, we have found it was actually bad for the kids, esp the little sib spending hours per day in a car seat. It was actually impacting the baby's motor development, and like I said, we carpool, so we aren't doing 4 trips per day. In terms of time in the car it's kind of like putting them in school in Baltimore, it's crazy.

Grace is lovely but NPS is a wonderful school with a great community. I think that the quality of life for all of you will be tremendously higher by going closer to home. If you are questioning it now, you would be likely to want to switch later, which is really disruptive to kids.

Good luck with your decision.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks everyone. We are still deciding, but I am thinking the traveling is a little more than I want to take on...

[Anonymous]

Perhaps this is a separate thread, but I'd be interested to know what people think is a reasonable "commuting time limit" A few years ago, we were choosing between schools and our first choice was 40 minutes away, our second choice was 20 minutes away and our third choice was 5-10 minutes away. We decided that a 20 minute commute was our outer limit (two younger siblings) and ended up choosing our second choice. When our DC starts staying at school later in the day next year, the return trip will be closer to 30 minutes and longer. We are very pleased with our school and know many others who commute longer distances, but we still feel that, with the playdates, school events, birthday parties, etc (which can be 40-45 minutes away) and the related social issues, 20 minutes is okay but not ideal and any longer might stretch us too far. I should mention, though, that we don't have anyone from our school who lives in our neighborhood or even near-by area -- having other area students would help a great deal with respect to carpooling, socializing, etc.

[Anonymous]

In the morning our commute to school is 30 minutes, 20 minutes in the afternoon. I do the driving every morning and afternoon. I have a younger child, so it means all of us getting up and out the door. But I can honestly say I love having that time w/ the kids to talk. I feel like the rest of the day can be so busy & hectic and our commuting time is always great to catch up, play goofy games, etc.

There were other schools closer by, but we LOVED the school that was further away and we felt it was worth the longer drive. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PP - Would you mind sharing the age of your oldest? I also really treasure the "talking and being together time" that we get during our 20-25 minute commute each way. Actually, I really give the down-sides of the commute much thought until about 4th - 5th grade, when it started to feel like the "social trade-offs" were becoming more pronounced. Sports practices, games, school events, etc. all become more challenging. My oldest is 5th Grade and we are lucky that he has does have friends that he spends the night with, etc. but in general "playdates" are no longer so scheduled, and seem to be more spontaneous between kids who live closer together. On the other hand, as he enters middle school, perhaps that drive time will become even more valuable as a time to "keep connected." And certainly commuting is a fact of life in this area. It's worth it, but I'm definitely reminded more often now by our EC's advice "Don't underestimate the value of going to school close to home."

[Anonymous]

Another thing to think about--both of my kids have had days when they've suddenly needed to go home (fever developed during the day, accident on playground requiring hospital visit). I REALLY appreciated being relatively close on those days.