Thinking about taking husband's name

[Anonymous]

I married into a culture where the woman doesn't change her name and the kids get the father's last name. I had never planned on changing my name anyway and didn't have strong feelings about passing on my extremely common Anglo last name to the kids. So I kept my name and DD got DH's name. I don't understand why more women don't do this since it took exactly no effort on my part and has never caused any sort of problem or confusion.

Because I make all the appointments and reservations and such, DH (who is clearly an immigrant with a thick accent) gets called Mr Anglolastname much more often than I get called Mrs Ethniclastname.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to do what feels right. I don't think it simplifies things but ymmv.

Would you use your birth name professionally still or switch that as well?

OP here..good question. I probably would keep my name professionally. But again does that complicate things even more? Is hyphenating the best of both worlds? Does anyone use different names at work and at home? Again, never considered any of this until now

I use my maiden name professionally. No real problems. Have been this way for ten years.

Good to hear. When do you use your husband's name?

It's my legal name, so when I travel, file taxes, for the kids' school, etc.

[Anonymous]

true it is an act of love and commitment towards your family, but why is it on us to take the man's name and not the other way around. if you think about it, we can only really be sure that the parent of the child that is born is the mother so it would make more sense for everyone to take the mother's name.

[Anonymous]

Causes more confusion at work when you have to legally sign your legal name. If I had a do-over, I wouldn't have legally changed to DH's name and used my maiden name professionally. Probably going to change it back for the legal work reason I didn't anticipate. Everything I do is 90% fine using my maiden name, but there are times I have to sign paperwork with my legal name. My dual identity causes confusion.

I was one of those we got married, not going to change, had kids, reconsidered gals. Trying to manage both names is just more confusing that I anticipated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many things that make my life complicated. Having a different name than my husband and son is not one of them.

+1

[Anonymous]

I did it. After twenty years I finally took his name. We joked about him taking my name because we like it better. It wasn't a feminist stand for me. I hold professional licenses in several states and it was just a hassle.

But I really wanted to be Dr. & Dr. Xxxxx instead of Dr. Yyyyyy and Dr. Xxxxxx. So I did it.

I like it. It's a symbol, but it does feel more connected. Weird.

[Anonymous]

My friend didn't take her DH name. She said it would be easier for divorce. And it was.

[Anonymous]

I didn't change my name, and the kids have a different surname. It hasn't caused much problem around here. If you check the school directory, there is a lengthy cross reference section for parents with different names than their kids.

I explained to my son that some women change their names when they get married. He looked confused and said "why would they do that?"

My sister changed her name so that she would have the same name as her kids. Now she is getting divorced and trying to drop her rather unusual married name which feels like chewing on tacks every time she says it.

[Anonymous]

I think that now that you will be sharing a child, it makes good sense since sharing a last name with your child will make everything more simple logistically.

Congrats.

[Anonymous]

I did it 2 years after my son was born. It just felt like the right thing to do. It's just how I saw myself after having a baby.

No big deal to change it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that now that you will be sharing a child, it makes good sense since sharing a last name with your child will make everything more simple logistically.
/quote]

Like what? My kids and I don't share a last name. I haven't encountered any complexities. What have you encountered?

[Anonymous]

I think that now that you will be sharing a child, it makes good sense since sharing a last name with your child will make everything more simple logistically.

Like what? My kids and I don't share a last name. I haven't encountered any complexities. What have you encountered?