A situation with my son going on vacation with his friend and family

[Anonymous]

I would cancel the trip on general principles.

It wasn't what you signed up for. They changed the deal, so it's their fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you checked out other flight options? Your husband is being silly if he thinks a 16 year old can't fly alone. I understand not wanting him to be in a hotel for another 24 hours alone, but if he could take a flight earlier or later on the same day on another airline, etc. you might have luck. And if DH vetoes that option, then apparently it is worth $1000 to him for your 16yo to have adult supervision while flying.

I totally agree that this parent is out of line. How did you respond to the other mom? At the very least, I would say, "Mrs. Richyrich, this flight change is more than double our whole budget for this trip, so it is a significant hardship for us, and we would never have agreed to this trip if the original flight cost was so high. Are there any other options available, including allowing the boys to stay an additional day together?"

While I agree that the other family is behaving badly here, they are also being extremely generous. What they are paying to take their son's friend on this trip far outweighs the extra expense of the return flight. I can't imagine chewing out someone who is doing something generous for my son. Yes, I would be angry, annoyed, all of that. But they don;t owe him anything else and pissing them off will just ensure that they won't encourage this friendship any more.

The hell? Adding a last minute unexpected $1k isn't generous. They're acting like rich people is what they're doing.

[Anonymous]

cut your losses and tell your DS that unless he comes up with the extra money you can't afford the trip.

Different people have different concepts of money. Just state that losing $600 is more in your budget than spending an extra $1K.

Have your DS write down all the numbers in a flow-chart decision tree and talk it through. Seeing the numbers will be good for your DS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you checked out other flight options? Your husband is being silly if he thinks a 16 year old can't fly alone. I understand not wanting him to be in a hotel for another 24 hours alone, but if he could take a flight earlier or later on the same day on another airline, etc. you might have luck. And if DH vetoes that option, then apparently it is worth $1000 to him for your 16yo to have adult supervision while flying.

I totally agree that this parent is out of line. How did you respond to the other mom? At the very least, I would say, "Mrs. Richyrich, this flight change is more than double our whole budget for this trip, so it is a significant hardship for us, and we would never have agreed to this trip if the original flight cost was so high. Are there any other options available, including allowing the boys to stay an additional day together?"

Helicoptering is expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my husband is not comfortable with him flying back on his own, it would mean him staying an extra day on his own which will not work. The family needs to be back a day early because of a closing her husband is involved in. I understand things come up. So happens that day is a very busy travel day and there are no more coach tickets, just first class.

She was somewhat apologetic but also made it sound like no big deal. Yes they are treating him to a very special vacation, top notch everything. As much as it's annoying me I am feeling like I have no choice.

My son is so excited for this trip, saved all his money for new snowboard boots, etc...I just wouldn't have the heart to tell him he cannot go. And I don't see the point in making her feel bad about it, it seems like it's really out of her control- just ironic though that at 48 I still haven't flown first class haha.

Why wouldn't they all stay the extra day and let the husband fly back alone for work? We do that all the time. My husband owns a business and if something comes up, he goes and we stay. To change everyone to first class to all go back for one person's job is insane. Asking you to pay %500 more one way for a 1st class ticket is disgusting.

[Anonymous]

See if you can find a one way flight back on the same day they are flying back - around the same time - southwest is easy to book 1 way.

Many ski resorts have arranged transportation to and from the airport. Not everyone wants to rent a car. Dad can take a shuttle or book a one way rental car.

Other option is for everyone to go back to airport - dad leaves and everyone else stays in a hotel room overnight. Keep the rental car and check out the sites.

I wouldn't blame the other family so much - they have enough money that they don't need to get creative with how to get home with the least amount of $$$.

[Anonymous]

Yea I would have a hard time coming up with the extra grand.
That sucks and so does the other family being so blase about it assuming you have it.
Sheesh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you checked out other flight options? Your husband is being silly if he thinks a 16 year old can't fly alone. I understand not wanting him to be in a hotel for another 24 hours alone, but if he could take a flight earlier or later on the same day on another airline, etc. you might have luck. And if DH vetoes that option, then apparently it is worth $1000 to him for your 16yo to have adult supervision while flying.

I totally agree that this parent is out of line. How did you respond to the other mom? At the very least, I would say, "Mrs. Richyrich, this flight change is more than double our whole budget for this trip, so it is a significant hardship for us, and we would never have agreed to this trip if the original flight cost was so high. Are there any other options available, including allowing the boys to stay an additional day together?"

While I agree that the other family is behaving badly here, they are also being extremely generous. What they are paying to take their son's friend on this trip far outweighs the extra expense of the return flight. I can't imagine chewing out someone who is doing something generous for my son. Yes, I would be angry, annoyed, all of that. But they don;t owe him anything else and pissing them off will just ensure that they won't encourage this friendship any more.

The hell? Adding a last minute unexpected $1k isn't generous. They're acting like rich people is what they're doing.

No of course the extra money isn;t generous. And I suspect they aren't just acting like rich people, they are rich people. But they are also paying for OP's DS": (1) lift tickets, (2) hotel, (3) meals. Thats a whole lotta money. And that part of it is very generous -- we love to ski but I don;t think we'd ever shell out like that for a friend to join us. So OP has to find a way to respond to their poor behavior with the ticket without appearing ungrateful for the amount of money they are spending. Otherwise they lose the high road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No of course the extra money isn;t generous. And I suspect they aren't just acting like rich people, they are rich people. But they are also paying for OP's DS": (1) lift tickets, (2) hotel, (3) meals. Thats a whole lotta money.

Most likely they got a condo or something, and the extra person staying in it doesn't cost them any extra. The real cost to them is lift tickets and meals.

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn't they all stay the extra day and let the husband fly back alone for work?

Because then the mom would have to do a lot more work shepherding a bunch of kids onto the plane by herself, and she doesn't want to.

[Anonymous]

Mo money mo problems. Thankfully we don't have this problem.

[Anonymous]

If you can afford it, just go along with their plans and suck it up. You now know in case they ask again.

[Anonymous]

I would be highly annoyed with these inconsiderate people.
I would say politely that the upgrade is a lot of money, and that during his stay with them, DS will have extremely limited means of his own - just to stave off some unpleasant surprises, in case they think "hosting him" means he can throw away hundreds of dollars for his own entertainment.

Call that airline and the other airlines for the day they plan to return to make sure there isn't a cheaper seat, even on another flight, and even if it means waiting a couple of hours at the airport, or being dropped off earlier (although with this family, who knows whether they would actually drop him off on time if his flight was earlier).

3. Lastly, pay the upgrade.

I would not look into a hotel room for that extra night, if it were my son, just because he's immature. But if your son is mature enough, why not? You could call the hotel first.
Also, I would not cancel the trip, if your son has set so much store by it. But I would tell him of the issue, and tell him that you're probably not going to let him travel with them again.

[Anonymous]

It's not an extra $1k it is an extra $400

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be concerned as if they did this, then what other unexpected expenses will they come up with. They should have paid the cost for the change since it was their choice, not yours.

This. I think it's rude that they're asking you to pay for this change fee, regardless of your financial situation. It's so awkward for them to ask you for one amount (which was a reasonable thing to do) and then come back and ask you for more money - a LOT more money, because they've decided to do something different. So strange.

If I were them, I would suck it up and pay for your child. Not call you and ask for more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be concerned as if they did this, then what other unexpected expenses will they come up with. They should have paid the cost for the change since it was their choice, not yours.

This. I think it's rude that they're asking you to pay for this change fee, regardless of your financial situation. It's so awkward for them to ask you for one amount (which was a reasonable thing to do) and then come back and ask you for more money - a LOT more money, because they've decided to do something different. So strange.

If I were them, I would suck it up and pay for your child. Not call you and ask for more.

PP above here. Forgot to mention - obviously you need to not say anything and just pay the 1,000 , but I think it's inappropriate that the other family has asked you to do so.