If you find out there's a kid with autism in your kid's classroom ...

[Anonymous]

It all depends.

First, I would not assume we and our kids have not already realized your child is not neurotypical. kids are very sensitive but don't use labels. parents also usually observant. it all depends how many atypical kids are in the class, and how much their needs absorb the teacher's attention. there are some privates which take more than a few kids with adhd, add, executive function issues, social issues, autism spectrum, etc,. however some of these schools do not have the resources or teachers with specialized training to manage classrooms effectively. group learning is really affected by the behavioral challenges. more than a few times over the years, our child has said teachers at his school, "care more about kids who have challenges" than kids who don't. therefore his needs, which run toward needing greater academic enrichment and challenge, have not been met. we wish we had known from the outset that many parents of kids with challenges choose our school for its willingness to accept these kids and that our school's philosophy does not match its ability to meet the needs of these kids. we might have chosen differently looking back.

[Anonymous]

I would think "so...?"

If the child requires more services and needs more of the teacher's time then I would be annoyed that the support that child needs isn't being provided.

Other than that no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am currently applying two out of my 3 children to private schools for the upcoming fall. All 3 of our children have high-functioning ASD. Our daughter is in the county's Gifted Talented Magnet Elementary School Cluster, and the classes and projects are great; however, there are still large class sizes, and we are not happy with the middle school magnet in upcounty where she is slated to go.

I only wanted to reply due to what some of the previous posts said - it should not matter whether of not a child has Autism in your child's child. Technically, it is a medical diagnosis, and it is protected by HIPAA. You and your child (family) do not need to know about it unless necessary. I doubt that any autistic child, who is severe enough to be hitting people, would be mainstreamed enough to be in a private school with your child, OP, unless it is a private school for children with special needs.

It sounds like several people on this board could use do with becoming more familiar with Autism Spectrum Disorders in general. My husband and I are both professionals, and our children are 11, 9, and 5 (all with ASD). We wouldn't and couldn't have it and/or imagine it any other way). Autism affects 1 in every 42 boys and 1 in 189 girls today. It is truly today's epidemic.

It isn't as much of a dramatic epidemic as some make it out to be. The reason for many of the higher numbers is that they have changed the requirements and everything now is called "autism." In the past, high functioning kids were called quirky (among other things) and very low functioning were mental retardation/intellectually challenged, etc. Now, many of them are just being placed on the spectrum and the spectrum can mean anything so it is very misleading.

None of the kids with autism I know are any more aggressive than kids without it. People make all kinds of excuses to keep their kids separated (which is fine with me as I don't want you or your kids around mine if you have that belief).

[Anonymous]

My daughter had a child who was on the spectrum in her class of 16, and he was extremely disruptive and physical. I volunteered weekly in the classroom and saw it. He bit my child more than once over where to sit on the carpet during circle time/morning meeting. He threw things, spit on people hit, kicked, it was heartbreaking. The parents seemed overwhelmed and didn't do much until the school insisted he be tested. All that resulted in was an aide coming a few hours every week and she would just pull him into the hall whenever he had a tantrum ,but it was so loud you couldn't hear the instruction in the classroom. Overall it was just a nightmare for the child, the teachers and the students. I think the parents we're in denial about how serious his needs were, and he didn't come back the next year. He's now at the lab school I think.

I would not have a problem with a HFA child in my daughters classroom, but I would be concerned if there was ANY child in the room that was as disruptive as this previous child. It seems like our prior experience involved a child that had needs above what the school could handle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter had a child who was on the spectrum in her class of 16, and he was extremely disruptive and physical. I volunteered weekly in the classroom and saw it. He bit my child more than once over where to sit on the carpet during circle time/morning meeting. He threw things, spit on people hit, kicked, it was heartbreaking. The parents seemed overwhelmed and didn't do much until the school insisted he be tested. All that resulted in was an aide coming a few hours every week and she would just pull him into the hall whenever he had a tantrum ,but it was so loud you couldn't hear the instruction in the classroom. Overall it was just a nightmare for the child, the teachers and the students. I think the parents we're in denial about how serious his needs were, and he didn't come back the next year. He's now at the lab school I think.

I would not have a problem with a HFA child in my daughters classroom, but I would be concerned if there was ANY child in the room that was as disruptive as this previous child. It seems like our prior experience involved a child that had needs above what the school could handle.

You do understand that autism can mean anything from just a few quirks to a child who cannot function at all. Sometimes it is not as simple as a parent in denial as it is limited access to quality services at a reasonable price. Many insurances don't cover therapy and if they do, in our case, its a constant battle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Autism is a silly spectrum of very high functioning with developmental delays and/or quirks to very low functioning so to me it depends on what the concerns are. We had a false autism diagnosis so to me it is often a catch-all for we don't know what's wrong with your kid. I would not care at all but then again my child has some delays.

You're an idiot if you think this! This is for you.

I'm not the first PP but you're actually the idiot here. The first PP is spot on and accurate with what she wrote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter had a child who was on the spectrum in her class of 16, and he was extremely disruptive and physical. I volunteered weekly in the classroom and saw it. He bit my child more than once over where to sit on the carpet during circle time/morning meeting. He threw things, spit on people hit, kicked, it was heartbreaking. The parents seemed overwhelmed and didn't do much until the school insisted he be tested. All that resulted in was an aide coming a few hours every week and she would just pull him into the hall whenever he had a tantrum ,but it was so loud you couldn't hear the instruction in the classroom. Overall it was just a nightmare for the child, the teachers and the students. I think the parents we're in denial about how serious his needs were, and he didn't come back the next year. He's now at the lab school I think.

I would not have a problem with a HFA child in my daughters classroom, but I would be concerned if there was ANY child in the room that was as disruptive as this previous child. It seems like our prior experience involved a child that had needs above what the school could handle.

You do understand that autism can mean anything from just a few quirks to a child who cannot function at all. Sometimes it is not as simple as a parent in denial as it is limited access to quality services at a reasonable price. Many insurances don't cover therapy and if they do, in our case, its a constant battle.

Yes, I do understand. This was my experience with it, and I answered the OP's question.

[Anonymous]

There are kids who have HFA at most private schools including all of the Big 3 at all grade levels, elementary, middle and high school. I know this for a fact bc we have been involved with a social skills group that draws from these schools.

Most kids with HFA are not disruptive and if you met these kids, you wouldn't even know they were on the spectrum unless told.

There probably is a kid on the spectrum in your kid's class right now.

[Anonymous]

There is at least one child with autism in every classroom. Everywhere. My kid has it and people need to get over the stigma because it's an epidemic. Your kids will be going to school with kids with autism and they will be working with kids with autism and they might even marry people with autism. Autism is such a huge spectrum, the issues that may occur because a child with autism is in a class -- you can't generalize that.

[Anonymous]

1 in 42 boys statistic is based on children born in 2002 who turned 8 in 2010 , by the way
that data is 12, going on 13 years old...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1 in 42 boys statistic is based on children born in 2002 who turned 8 in 2010 , by the way
that data is 12, going on 13 years old...

That is because they have changed the diagnostic criteria and just recently changed it again. My child actually fell off the "spectrum" but I doubt he had it in the first place. In 2002, it was called many other things... that is the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Soooo, do you or do you not tell other parents about your DC diagnosis? And why?

I do not tell other parents because my DC is still too young to be able to advocate for himself.

First instinct is no, and this thread is a good guide as to why. There is a lot of prejudice out there.

Diagnoses are tools to further understanding in the service of helping someone to achieve as much as they can, using learning methods that work best for them. But they're unhelpful in other contexts to the extent they serve only as labels, providing excuses for others to assume that is one will be incapable, disruptive, or what have you.

The ranks of great achievers throughout history are filled with people on the spectrum. In many cases they were fortunate that no one applied a label to them to dismiss their quirky differences as signifying that they couldn't make it or didn't belong around NT people. A diagnosis is good if it enables someone to get a helpful intervention, but it can have the downside of slapping a label on someone that the ignorant can use as a basis for excluding them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand why people who have kids with autism put their kids in private. Public schools have far more resources to help children with special needs. If that child takes a disproportionate amount of time from my child's teacher, yes I would not be happy.


The kid who takes up the most of my kid's teacher's time is one who has an ego the size of Egypt. He is a typical, all-American, bright kid whose parents have raised him to feel entitled. He craves attention and does not stop until he gets it. There are 2 kids on 'the spectrum' in the class, and at least 1 or 2 with observable ADHD. One of the brightest and best has a physical disability and is no trouble for anyone. With that said, maybe public schools have more resources to 'help children with no special needs'. Because this kid who is a shining example of what is supposed to be 'typical' 'takes a disproportionate amount of time from my child's teacher'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand why people who have kids with autism put their kids in private. Public schools have far more resources to help children with special needs. If that child takes a disproportionate amount of time from my child's teacher, yes I would not be happy.


The kid who takes up the most of my kid's teacher's time is one who has an ego the size of Egypt. He is a typical, all-American, bright kid whose parents have raised him to feel entitled. He craves attention and does not stop until he gets it. There are 2 kids on 'the spectrum' in the class, and at least 1 or 2 with observable ADHD. One of the brightest and best has a physical disability and is no trouble for anyone. With that said, maybe public schools have more resources to 'help children with no special needs'. Because this kid who is a shining example of what is supposed to be 'typical' 'takes a disproportionate amount of time from my child's teacher'.

The entitled kid has nothing to do with autism and it has to do with personality and parenting. Bad example.

The publics are not always best and have more resources. Not all kids need resources as parents can get them privately. 20 minutes of weekly group speech therapy is a joke. And, a child with behavioral issues is very different than mild developmental delays (speech, ot, pt).