Coworker threw me under the bus
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Anonymous
+1 Personally, I think that the boss' reaction is shortsighted. The boss should realize that the coworker who showed him/her the email is also not to be trusted -- as that person took something someone wrote in confidence and sneakily went behind their back. The boss should realize that he/she can't trust the coworker snitch. Unless OP's comments had any direct impact on work being done or OP was making those comments to customers or someone where it would impact the business/organization negatively, coworker had no real reason to show the comments to the boss EXCEPT to screw over OP. If the boss can't see this, then the boss is clueless. As a boss, no, you don't want subordinates saying bad things about you, but you also don't want an atmosphere where coworkers don't trust each other or where everything said in confidence (even blowing off steam) is going to be reported. Any boss or manager who is GOOD at being a boss or manager accepts the reality that not all subordinates are going to think glowing thoughts of them at all times. If you want the big bucks and responsibilities that come with management, you have to thicken your skin. At the end of the day, in my view, a subordinate who is sneaky, doesn't honor things said in confidence (especially when it's harmless blowing off of steam), and tattles like a 12 year old girl is FAR WORSE than a subordinate who says something not nice about you every once in a while in a private conversation, email or spoken, to a coworker. |
Anonymous
Grow up. If you put it out there, you'd better be ready for the consequences. |
Anonymous
How old are you? Sounds like the good news is that you'll be able to move from McDonalds to the Burger King down the street. 
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Anonymous
Yep, coworker is a jerk. That was petty and ridiculous. The boss sounds hyper sensitive, in which case he/she shouldn't be a boss. The appropriate response from the boss would have been to ignore the coworker. Send the message that these petty side conversations don't matter, Boss isn't going to get involved in falling outs. It just amazes me that PPs don't see this. It actually HURTS the company to fire a person over something so petty. An employee is an investment. Hiring and firing costs money. If OP was otherwise a good employee, then maybe just a word from the boss that this isn't a good use of company email and then let it go. OP, that said, learn the lesson -- there is no such thing as a "friend" in the workplace. It's been a hard lesson for me to learn as well. I hate the way it is. I hate that you can't trust people, that you have to filter everything you say and write because someone could use some offhand (and very small/minor) joke to sink you. I do think your comment was pretty lukewarm and harmless. You just repeated a humorous way the boss misspoke. Big deal. But essentially, the workplace (it seems) is like junior high. If you haven't already, you should speak to HR. I don't know if HR or the boss' boss would think that the harmless comment you made is worth firing over. Write an apologetic letter. |
Anonymous
| Use this as a life lesson and put all your effort into finding an even better job. |
Anonymous
Oh gawd you are stupider than I thought! This destroys the "your coworker is a jerk" argument. A close friend is OF COURSE going to tell her friend if you say something bad about her. That's not being a jerk, that's being a friend. Only exception is if she is a closer friend to you. |
Anonymous
| It does not hurt a company to fire idiots who can't keep their mouth shut like the op. |
Anonymous
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So, you would say something dispararing about your boss to a close friend of hers? This makes your error even worse. You really have no common sense.
As for the firing, my guess is that this incident was the straw that broke the camel's back. From OP's additional comments throughout this thread she demonstrates an immaturity and lack of propriety and perspective that she probably also has IRL. It's unfortunate that no one came out and told her how badly she communicates with an eye towards her learning to improve her communications. I have had employees who were like this and their communication style and skills just colored all of their relationships, from coworkers, to subordinates to superiors to customers. With some of them, I can work with them to try and improve their communication and interpersonal skills. With others, I can't. I had someone like OP. Rather than take comments constructively about what was appropriate and inappropriate, she got worse, mocked me behind my back including to customers. Surprise, this got back to me and not only did it color people's impressions of her, but it also negatively affected our contract review as the conduct was very unprofessional and made others, including customers, uncomfortable. It was easiest to just let her go rather than spend more resources trying to correct her was she didn't understand how badly she was reflecting on herself and the company. OP, you are young and inexperienced. I would recommend that you seriously reconsider your communication style. Look for someone who is older who can mentor you in appropriate office decorum and communication before this happens to you again. You need to leave the high school shenanigans, texting behind people's back, and inappropriate behavior for when you are outside the office. You need to learn how to be more professional and treat coworkers with respect whether they are subordinate, equal or superior. |
Anonymous
| Have you not learned from the police to obey authority? Be it a cop, teacher or boss, obey or consequences will happen. |
Anonymous
| Why in the world would you put something like that in writing. I get this is the texting era, but a text isn't all that much different from an email, so if you wouldn't want your comments forwarded beyond the two of you, don't put it in writing. Save it for happy hour, so at least your co-worker doesn't have proof you said it to show the boss. |
Anonymous
Keep their mouth shut? are you kidding me? workers aren't allowed to have opinions about their bosses that they privately express to other workers? That's a firing offense? OP didn't express it to customers or clients or even to the boss' supervisor. I still think it was petty of the coworker to forward and petty of the boss to fire. It was a harmless comment (not even badmouthing the boss-- just repeating something THE BOSS ACTUALLY SAID). |
Anonymous
You're allowed to have opinions, but learn to share them more discretely, or keep them to yourself. The boss who can't trust you to be discrete with your opinions about him also can't trust you to be discrete with your opinions of an annoying but highly lucrative client. |
Anonymous
It was mocking the boss. Not harmless. Unprofessional and totally inappropriate. Anyone dumb enough to mock the boss in writing deserves to be canned. |
Anonymous
It does hurt a company to have a boss so petty and fragile. |
Anonymous
Yuk |