Do your in laws acknowledge your birthday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am previous poster who things its odd. Not bad, just odd. I guess it's because at this point in my life, if I want something that costs $50, I go get it. Same with my mom. Her giving me the $50 doesn't change my life at all. I wouldn't complain, I'd just rather she keep it for herself. We aren't big on bdays though. A phone call letting me know someone is thinking of me is great, and if people forget I understand because I don't remember everyone's either. I'm early 40's, bdays aren't a huge deal at this point.

Nope -- no it isn't. I understand not wanting do any celebration or not asking for gifts, but if someone else wants to celebrate their birthday or someone gives them a gift why is that odd? I think that it is odd that you think it is odd that someone wants to celebrate or acknowledge in a way that is different than your way.

I'm top pp. I guess it's about what is the purpose of a gift? For me, a gift is for doing something special (everyone has a birthday once a year so it's not doing something special) or to show that you are thinking of someone and think that they might like x. A small amount of money on a birthday to a financially independent adult doesn't meet either. So an actual present of any size would be cool, though not necessary. But not money to buy myself a present. For example, once my husband tried to give me $100 for my birthday. That is ridiculous because his $100 is already my $100 , but really, what would be the purpose of such a thing? There is no thought to it and if I want to buy something worth a $100 I will do it without his help. We used to do family christmases where we all exchanged gift cards. Basically we are all giving each other $100. For what? Just cut out the middleman and go get what you wanted. But it's just my opinion, I'm not trying to force it on you.

[Anonymous]

Yes, MIL remembers my birthday- it doesn't hurt that DH and I have the same birthday. But to give her credit, I do believe she sends cards to her other DILs too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am previous poster who things its odd. Not bad, just odd. I guess it's because at this point in my life, if I want something that costs $50, I go get it. Same with my mom. Her giving me the $50 doesn't change my life at all. I wouldn't complain, I'd just rather she keep it for herself. We aren't big on bdays though. A phone call letting me know someone is thinking of me is great, and if people forget I understand because I don't remember everyone's either. I'm early 40's, bdays aren't a huge deal at this point.

Nope -- no it isn't. I understand not wanting do any celebration or not asking for gifts, but if someone else wants to celebrate their birthday or someone gives them a gift why is that odd? I think that it is odd that you think it is odd that someone wants to celebrate or acknowledge in a way that is different than your way.

I'm top pp. I guess it's about what is the purpose of a gift? For me, a gift is for doing something special (everyone has a birthday once a year so it's not doing something special) or to show that you are thinking of someone and think that they might like x. A small amount of money on a birthday to a financially independent adult doesn't meet either. So an actual present of any size would be cool, though not necessary. But not money to buy myself a present. For example, once my husband tried to give me $100 for my birthday. That is ridiculous because his $100 is already my $100 , but really, what would be the purpose of such a thing? There is no thought to it and if I want to buy something worth a $100 I will do it without his help. We used to do family christmases where we all exchanged gift cards. Basically we are all giving each other $100. For what? Just cut out the middleman and go get what you wanted. But it's just my opinion, I'm not trying to force it on you.

LOL! I am the pp to whom you are responding. You have some pretty stringent regulations, but hey to each his own. I just don't get why you think it is "odd",not your thing, I get that, but odd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My IL's don't acknowledge my DH's birthday, and he's their son. I'm definitely not on their radar.

This.

[Anonymous]

My IL's make a big deal about my birthday. My parents don't re: my husband.

My IL's also expect a big deal made for their birthdays.

I prefer my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My IL's make a big deal about my birthday. My parents don't re: my husband.

My IL's also expect a big deal made for their birthdays.

I prefer my family.

My family is low-key about celebrations, ILs are high-maintenance about them and not in a fun way. Everyone follows the script (gather HERE, eat THIS, see THESE PEOPLE) and everyone is miserable. But the script must not be changed because it is tradition!!!

I also prefer my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My IL's make a big deal about my birthday. My parents don't re: my husband.

My IL's also expect a big deal made for their birthdays.

I prefer my family.

My family is low-key about celebrations, ILs are high-maintenance about them and not in a fun way. Everyone follows the script (gather HERE, eat THIS, see THESE PEOPLE) and everyone is miserable. But the script must not be changed because it is tradition!!!

I also prefer my family.

Wow! I not alone! My ILs, really my MIL, forces the birthday issue and every holiday, for that matter. So annoying and so stressful! Example includes FIL birthday occurred when ILs were traveling. No matter, command performance bday party still happens one month late. MIL hijacks DH bday, too. We will celebrate his birthday, DC and I but then MIL insists on a separate gathering for all (we are local) at her house sometime later. It's like MIL has to bless each birthday with her physical presence for it to count.

Such a hassle that for the past few yrs for my BD I insist that there'll be no party or gathering (that they'll be part of) but it's soured me on BD in general

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious. My birthday has come and gone with no call or card. No big deal--just a little odd I think. A package arrived today from mil with a package of princess undies and cookies for my dd, and I thought she might have included a card for me, but no. My parents give my spouse $200 every year and everyone calls and wishes him well. I guess it's just different families, different cultures.

Our families are VERY different with holidays and birthdays. Very hard to get used to. But, they do at least send a card, yes.

[Anonymous]

My ILs send me an e-card since they live overseas, and they usually try to give a call within a couple days, depending on family schedules and time zone differences. My SIL even sent me a gift card the first year we were married.

My parents might send DH an email, but not always. There's not a gift. Even for me, I don't get birthday gifts from my family anymore, just a card.

I do think it's different families, different cultures. Nothing personal.

[Anonymous]

I have been married to my H for almost 11 years. My in laws have only acknowledged my birthday twice - one was a post on Facebook from my MIL two weeks before my birthday, and that was only because my H had mentioned my birthday. My parents have always acknowledged my H's birthday. My Father passed away two years ago and my Mother still acknowledges it.

What irks me even more is that my H asks me to call his parents on their birthdays, but it doesn't even occur to him to remind them of mine. And one year, my H's brother forgot to call my MIL on her birthday and she acted as though the world had come to an end and told him she was going to get him for it.

It is very selfish!!

[Anonymous]

No, and I'm fine with it.

[Anonymous]

I don't even acknowledge my own Birthday anymore.

[Anonymous]

Hell, I don't think my ILs even know how old I am, much less what month my birthday is. I don't care about that, but now that we're a family of 4, it's kind of hurtful b/c i'm sure they'll be acknowledging their son's birthday and my two kids' birthdays. My mom passed away before I got married.

[Anonymous]

My FIL and step MIL send a gift card each year. My MIL was sending $50 for a few years. Last year she sent $29 because everyone wants to stay at 29 years old (I am well over 29), which was a little insulting. This year nothing from her. A little odd, but she's an odd person. My parents, though nice people, simply have always forgotten to give my husband anything, not out of malice but because he's hard to buy for and is not that friendly to them. But they are consistent at least and tell me to wish him a happy birthday.

[Anonymous]

My inlaws and my parents are friends, so everybody gets together for my birthday. So yes, FIL acknowledges my birthday but only because we invite him over for the birthday gathering (which is usually on a weekend before or after my actual birthday). MIL used to actually call me on my birthday and also send a card to arrive on my bday. She passed away 2 years ago though.

My parents also send/give my husband a card (sometimes a gift too) on his birthday regardless of whether we have a party for him or not.

MIL also sent cards to our son (and even us sometimes) for all holidays like Valentines Day, Halloween, etc.