"my babies"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIl refers to my husband as "My Charlie" and refers to the place where she lives as 'home' as in 'Aren't you all coming home for Christmas?"

I think it does reflect a failure to acknowledge that he is an adult, that I am an adult, or that we have an adult relationship and a home.

But then again this is the woman who said that it was great that I was quitting my job so that I would have more time to spend taking care of the house -- strange, I thought it was so I could spend more time with my children.

You're MIL is right that your DH is 'her Charlie'. He was hers first and will always be hers. You're reading too much into the 'home' thing. My siblings and I haven't lived in the town we grew up in over 25 years. Yet, when we're talking about visiting there, we always refer to it as 'home'. It will always be our childhood home even though my mom is living in a different house. When we're at my mom's, we refer to the town we currently live in as 'home'. As in, when you going back 'home'. Perhaps you lack mental and verbal flexibility.

+1000

[Anonymous]

OP, I am right there with you. I would find this HIGHLY annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am right there with you. I would find this HIGHLY annoying.

Get a thicker skin and grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIl refers to my husband as "My Charlie" and refers to the place where she lives as 'home' as in 'Aren't you all coming home for Christmas?"

I think it does reflect a failure to acknowledge that he is an adult, that I am an adult, or that we have an adult relationship and a home.

But then again this is the woman who said that it was great that I was quitting my job so that I would have more time to spend taking care of the house -- strange, I thought it was so I could spend more time with my children.

You're MIL is right that your DH is 'her Charlie'. He was hers first and will always be hers. You're reading too much into the 'home' thing. My siblings and I haven't lived in the town we grew up in over 25 years. Yet, when we're talking about visiting there, we always refer to it as 'home'. It will always be our childhood home even though my mom is living in a different house. When we're at my mom's, we refer to the town we currently live in as 'home'. As in, when you going back 'home'. Perhaps you lack mental and verbal flexibility.

+1000

I disagree. "My Charlie" and "home" are power plays. She wants to be the center of Charlie's life and can't get over the fact that he is a grown man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIl refers to my husband as "My Charlie" and refers to the place where she lives as 'home' as in 'Aren't you all coming home for Christmas?"

I think it does reflect a failure to acknowledge that he is an adult, that I am an adult, or that we have an adult relationship and a home.

But then again this is the woman who said that it was great that I was quitting my job so that I would have more time to spend taking care of the house -- strange, I thought it was so I could spend more time with my children.

You're MIL is right that your DH is 'her Charlie'. He was hers first and will always be hers. You're reading too much into the 'home' thing. My siblings and I haven't lived in the town we grew up in over 25 years. Yet, when we're talking about visiting there, we always refer to it as 'home'. It will always be our childhood home even though my mom is living in a different house. When we're at my mom's, we refer to the town we currently live in as 'home'. As in, when you going back 'home'. Perhaps you lack mental and verbal flexibility.

+1000

I disagree. "My Charlie" and "home" are power plays. She wants to be the center of Charlie's life and can't get over the fact that he is a grown man.

. Oh please. The only ones who are into power plays and center of attention are the dil's making an issue of these moronic "injustices." --and no I am not a mil

[Anonymous]

My kids are thoroughly loved by their grandparents, and the grandparents have their own affectionate names for my kids. Now that my kids are older they also have strong bonds with their grandparents. I do not interfere in their relationship because they also have a claim on my kids and vice-versa - and they have a right to determine what kind of relationship they want with their grandkids. What they will put into the relationship is exactly what they will get back.


OP, you have to remember that grandparents are aging and getting frail every day. While their health and faculties are intact, let them love and indulge your kids to their heart's content. You will still remain their mother, that does not change. You need to have compassion and patience. How you treat your elderly parents and ILs is being watched carefully by your kids. You will be treated exactly in the same manner.

[Anonymous]

None of the grandparents say that but I wouldn't mind if they did. I say that, and then when DH chimes in with: "hey, they're mine too!", I retort quite wrongly with: "no actually they're ALL mine!". Because I love them so much, and suffered a good deal to bear them.

Point is, it's total loving nonsense whoever says it. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are thoroughly loved by their grandparents, and the grandparents have their own affectionate names for my kids. Now that my kids are older they also have strong bonds with their grandparents. I do not interfere in their relationship because they also have a claim on my kids and vice-versa - and they have a right to determine what kind of relationship they want with their grandkids. What they will put into the relationship is exactly what they will get back.


OP, you have to remember that grandparents are aging and getting frail every day. While their health and faculties are intact, let them love and indulge your kids to their heart's content. You will still remain their mother, that does not change. You need to have compassion and patience. How you treat your elderly parents and ILs is being watched carefully by your kids. You will be treated exactly in the same manner.[/quote]. I have seen this in my own family. It may be cliche, but children learn why they live.

[Anonymous]

Op, you sound like the DIL from hell. I'm sure she knows they aren't her babies, but is using it as a term of endearment. Perhaps you didn't have a close relationship with your grandma or are you jealous that your kids have a loving grandma?