For those who don't have regularly scheduled date nights, when was the last time you had one?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the responses. I do wonder how other people handle similar circumstances. For me personally, I think our current date night rate isn't ideal, once a month would probably help our marriage and our overall moods. I'd love it if we were one of those couples who could just enjoy couple time while the kids sleep, logistically and personality wise, I don't see that working for us. And yes, we do enjoy child unfriendly events/restaurants a great deal. I don't think it's sad if others have infrequent date nights so long as they are happy with it, but we aren't happy with it.

Our main problem is finding someone we trust (harder to find and retain good babysitters if you have infrequent date nights). I remember using a one gal once or twice and then the next time we called her, we found she was leaving for a long-term international mission trip. Ha! And the second issue is cost. We want first rate babysitters so we pay first rate prices and that isn't trivial. There comes a point when you think, wow, that night cost $X dollars, was it worth it? Am I that much more relaxed? Is our marriage that much healthier? Shouldn't we be saving that? But then the cost of being a stressed, grouchy parent/spouse should be taken into account too?

Nice to know that there are people who are in the same boat. Is anyone thinking of scheduling more date nights/making it a regular thing?

[Anonymous]

Date nights don't have to be fancy dinners. Babysitters are really expensive around here, and DH and I just can't justify paying $200 for an evening out, so often we get a babysitter and take a walk to get ice cream, or just take a walk and hold hands and talk. We have way more fun doing that than spending time at a fancy restaurant. I don't have the energy to get all fancy on a Saturday night with small children around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL!! Did somebody just say banter? My mom must have stumbled onto this site.

why? i used it and enligh is my second language so i would like to know it if used it incorrectly.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry PP. I use "banter" fairly often. You used it correctly. The other PP was just being a little obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

We have date night at least once a month. Another night a month, either I or DW will have a girls/guys night out. So at least twice a month is a good fun night out without kids.

I wasn't a homebody before marriage, and I couldn't imagine never going out unless it was with kids.

[Anonymous]

I am PP with 2-3x/month date night. I fully recognnize it's a socio-economic thing too. We know that it's our HHI that allows us to not feel guilty/bad/etc/etc about spending $200+ on a random Saturday night out. But my DH and I were together 10+ years before our kids were born (we met early in life), so we got accustomed to having a ton of "us" time. For US it works and is needed. Others might be content with netflix. That would lead to a quick divorce for us -- since we really do need to have an active social life. We both work outside the home and both maintain very strong friendships outside of our relationship -- but this is what works for US. Not anyone else. We are now 20+ years together...very happy, but really its been bec we truly stay true to what we find important in life and how we are generally much happier people if we go out and socialize with friends and travel.

To each their own!!!

[Anonymous]

Two extroverts here. We don't have date night scheduled, but are out together once a week and each of us separate once a week (alternating). No social life would not work for either of us. We also have plenty of high school babysitters in our neoghborhood. It runs us $10/hr. Not too bad.

Also when a big group of us goes out we pool the kids at one house and get 2+ sitters. Its usually less expensive and fun for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Date nights for middle age married couples are stupid.

[Anonymous]

We don't have a babysitter either. Those who do have babysitters, are not always willing to share if you know what I mean. Dh and I go out, but not on a consistent basis. Mostly when my parents or his parents are in town or available. The good news is that dd is getting older, and can stay be herself. I have never left her in the evening though. We usually have "date nights" at places dd does not like, so we typically go to steak places. It's kind of funny, when we do go out without her, we spend the entire time talking about her.