Does "no gifts necessary" mean "please don't bring a gift"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am from India. Parents did a 'no gifts, cash, flowers. Only your presence, blessings and best wishes requested' for our 'arranged marriage'. We had to spell out the no stuff as that's the typical stuff given. I was thinking of that as we approach DS' first birthday party in a few months. Just thought I'd share.

I like this phrasing - and I'm going to steal it! "Please, no gifts. Only your presence, blessings and best wishes requested for Mary's birthday".

Thanks, PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No gift parties are the most pretentious ridiculous thing ever.... It's like the parents who brag about having their kids work at a food kitchen and then live in half million dollar house and buy their 16 year old a new car.... Yeah, your kids will understand how fortunate they are and be kind generous souls. Please!! Have a good old fashioned party, have guests bring a gift and if your child isn't a soiled obnoxious brat with too many toys already, they may actually appreciate the kind gesture and we'll wishes of their friends.
If parties were normal and guest lists were reasonable - then parents could send kids to it with 10 gift and actually celebrate the birthday!
I'm a child psychologist and can tell

LOL You win - yours is the most ridiculous and bitter post on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always have a book drive or toy drive in lieu of gifts. That way, the guests don't feel awkward showing up with nothing and we don't have a bunch of gifts we don't want, and a worthy charity gets a donation. Everyone wins!

That's dumb, I wouldn't participate in that.

Please do not call anyone or anything "dumb" until you learn basic punctuation and simple sentence construction.

[Anonymous]

This means no gifts.

We state no gifts and don't give favors. The point is a party and a good time with friends.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why a no gifts party is obnoxious? I read a post on huffington parents on this and remain confused. I put no gifts on the invite for my kids party this year and you know what? I mean it. I don't want anything for her friends - its a pain in the ass to get your kids out the door, to a party,etc. the last thing I want is for a parent to have to worry about a gift. I also don't want anyone to ever feel like they had to bring a gift to attend. Good friends, sure. If you feel compelled bring one. Every kid in the class? Not necessary. It gets expensive with so many parties and I just want your kid to come have fun and eat cake without pressure. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm. Sometimes when I want to cross the street. There's a sign that says "don't walk" - what should I do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always have a book drive or toy drive in lieu of gifts. That way, the guests don't feel awkward showing up with nothing and we don't have a bunch of gifts we don't want, and a worthy charity gets a donation. Everyone wins!

I actually find this more tacky than "no gifts".

Not PP but - please explain why holding a book drive is tacky.

[Anonymous]

I love no gifts parties and they're thankfully the norm within my circle in dc. There have been a couple where the parents seemed confused by the gifts people brought and then they realized that they didn't write no gifts in the invitation like everyone else does. They assumed we would just "get it" by now, instead of having the "oh crap, the invite doesn't say no gifts, let's stop by the store in the way to the party" moment a few of us had.

I do think I live in a different world than some people here, though. Parties have been awesomely simple. Picnics, bbqs, wading pool events with Costco or homemade cake and snacks and beer and wine. No bouncy houses, pony rides, jugglers, singing princesses, etc, unless one of the parents knew how to paint faces or do animal balloons.

[Anonymous]

If an invitation says anything that implies you don't want/need/expect gifts, I don't bring one. And I never feel bad about it, even if I'm the only one who followed instructions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If an invitation says anything that implies you don't want/need/expect gifts, I don't bring one. And I never feel bad about it, even if I'm the only one who followed instructions.

Thank you for being a level headed thinker. People around here get offended if you say "the sky is blue today".

If they say no gifts, respect their wishes and follow directions.

Now, since people around here are thrown off kilter when they can't bring a gift, the following might be a compromise to the "no gift" request"

"No gifts please, blah blah blah. If you feel the need to contribute, please make a $10 check payable to St. Judes or X charity, blah blah blah."

This way the host gets no gifts, and the invitee gets to feel better about bringing something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think of that to mean, that you don't have to feel obligated to get the kid anything. So if you want to cool if not, thats ok to.

This is what I mean when I say it. I want people to come enjoy the party first and foremost. I'm cool with whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always have a book drive or toy drive in lieu of gifts. That way, the guests don't feel awkward showing up with nothing and we don't have a bunch of gifts we don't want, and a worthy charity gets a donation. Everyone wins!

I actually find this more tacky than "no gifts".

Not PP but - please explain why holding a book drive is tacky.

Holding a book drive isn't tacky. Telling your friends what to bring is tacky. When you say nothing about gifts on the invite, then guests can bring a gift IF they want to. When you hold a "book drive" you are shaking your friends down for a book for a charity that you like.

[Anonymous]

Bring a gift. My DD went to a birthday party that said this. She did not bring a gift. Every other person did and gifts were opened at the party. It was a drop off so I couldn't even make excuses and leave early. My DD was very embarrassed and crying about it. Ugh.