Would you let your toddler pull up flowers in a public park?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OP of the other thread was really confused about her responsibilities. She kept trying to discipline someone else's toddler, escalated until it turned physical, and then decided that the poor kid was a "brat" for behaving no better than she did.

I hope she learns.

On the other thread all the mom did was hold the box down so the 2 year old couldn't move it, because the kid wasn't listening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's a different standard between "behavior I don't allow for my child" and "behavior I correct someone else's child for" Age appropriate has very little to do with it, except for the fact that if an 8 year old were taking the toys, I could ask them not to. But, if they persisted, I'm still not going to get into a tug of war over the box.

Conversely, it may be age appropriate for a two year old to pull up flowers, but if a behavior crosses from annoying to destructive or dangerous, then you can correct someone else's kid. I guess the elevator button pushing is borderline. But, honestly, I'm not going to make a scene about someone else's kid doing that (Unless, I don't know, we were in a hospital or something where the delay could be dangerous). And, hopefully, in as small a space as an elevator, a small childs parents would be right there to notice.

Definitely on your first paragraph. Definitely not on your second. I would be totally embarrassed if my kid pushed all the elevator buttons and inconvenienced a car full of people, many of whom likely don't have children and don't find my snowflake adorable. I wouldn't make a scene about someone else's kid doing it, but I would judge the heck out of the parent if there was no apology.

PP here. I meant the elevator pushing was bordering for destructive/dangerous. Not that I'd let my kid do it! I totally agree with you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's a different standard between "behavior I don't allow for my child" and "behavior I correct someone else's child for" Age appropriate has very little to do with it, except for the fact that if an 8 year old were taking the toys, I could ask them not to. But, if they persisted, I'm still not going to get into a tug of war over the box.

Conversely, it may be age appropriate for a two year old to pull up flowers, but if a behavior crosses from annoying to destructive or dangerous, then you can correct someone else's kid. I guess the elevator button pushing is borderline. But, honestly, I'm not going to make a scene about someone else's kid doing that (Unless, I don't know, we were in a hospital or something where the delay could be dangerous). And, hopefully, in as small a space as an elevator, a small childs parents would be right there to notice.

Definitely on your first paragraph. Definitely not on your second. I would be totally embarrassed if my kid pushed all the elevator buttons and inconvenienced a car full of people, many of whom likely don't have children and don't find my snowflake adorable. I wouldn't make a scene about someone else's kid doing it, but I would judge the heck out of the parent if there was no apology.

PP here. I meant the elevator pushing was bordering for destructive/dangerous. Not that I'd let my kid do it! I totally agree with you!

Ugh "borderline" not "bordering". As in not truly destructive or dangerous, unless it were a really unusual circumstance!

[Anonymous]

I would think you should train your toddler to pull up the terrible clovers in the unkempt yards.

[Anonymous]

Of course not, but he's allowed to pick as many dandelions as he wants/finds.

[Anonymous]

Of course not... but I would also expect MD's that are watching this happen to mind their own business and not start and altercation with a 2 yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I think the question is: if your baby were sitting and looking at flowers in a public park, and a two-year-old came along and started pulling them, would you get into an altercation with the two-year-old?

lol

[Anonymous]

Saying that this kind of behavior is "age appropriate" does not mean that the parent should not react. It means that a two year old is not some kind of horrible brat for trying to do this kind of stuff. It also means that if you think saying "please Johnny do not pull up the flowers" is effective discipline and the kid is a brat for not listening, you have no clue about child development.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't let my kid push all the buttons if there was anyone else in the elevator with us... but if no one sees us do it....

[Anonymous]

There is a difference between age appropriate behavior and wrong behavior. It is fine to p[ick wild flowers to take home and put into a vase. It is wrong to pick planted flowers in a public park. Point being: if everyone did what your child does, what would happen? If you can answer that with "Nothing, it would be fine.", then let the behavior go. If your answer would be "There wouldn't be any flowers left in the park and the city would have to spend millions replacing them.", then stop the behavior. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I think the question is: if your baby were sitting and looking at flowers in a public park, and a two-year-old came along and started pulling them, would you get into an altercation with the two-year-old?

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure - a few, but not the entire flower bed. Flowers are pretty and should be enjoyed, not revered. Taking a couple and giving them to a friend demonstrates kindness. However, wiping the entire flower bed is destructive, so their is a difference.

But if everyone let their kid pull just a few, the entire flower bed would be wiped out. So that logic is not sound.

Also, if I was in an elevator with a kid who was in the midst of pushing all of the buttons, I would probably ask the mom or dad or other caregiver to stop the kid from pushing the buttons if there was enough time to prevent it from continuing. In addition, to the PP who would let her/his kid push the buttons if nobody is in the elevator, there could be other people waiting for the elevator who your kid is inconveniencing - just because they are not in the elevator with you does not mean there is no problem. These people who are waiting and you cannot see now have to wait longer than they would have if your kid did not needlessly push buttons. Additionally, I have had the annoying experience of getting on an elevator right after a kid pushed all of the buttons and exited and then had to stop at every single floor on my way up despite nobody needing to get on/off and the kid being long gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure - a few, but not the entire flower bed. Flowers are pretty and should be enjoyed, not revered. Taking a couple and giving them to a friend demonstrates kindness. However, wiping the entire flower bed is destructive, so their is a difference.

yes, but if every other toddler did this, there'd soon be no flowers.

leave only footprints, keep only memories.

[Anonymous]

So if all the 1000s of people going to see the cherry blossoms take "just a few" to give to a friend as an act of generosity then that's fine? BS

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous

A thread further down where a mother stopped a two-year-old from taking with the toy bin her baby (9 months) was playing with. There were lots of responses that the mother of the baby should have let the toddler take it away from her baby as it was "age appropriate" behavior for the toddler.

Misrepresentation. There were lots of responses telling the OP not to get into a physical battle with a two-year-old. She lost.