Working mom - wwyd with sister's comment

[Anonymous]

Op, you seem to feel very insecure about your roles in life. Therapy may help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does having kids have to do with it? Maybe your brother's career is more interesting to your sister? I really don't see what the offense is here. Don't be so sensitive.

from OP

Btw - should have said my brother and I have same career!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your brother a working father?

He probably is but doesn't walk around calling himself a working dad.

true

With regard to males - I've only (guilty) asked that of gay male couples with kids.

[Anonymous]

Let it go. People don't use their brains. My FIL went around telling friends and family how his son bought a house. I earn 3x what the DH earns and the only name on the mortgage is mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let it go. People don't use their brains. My FIL went around telling friends and family how his son bought a house. I earn 3x what the DH earns and the only name on the mortgage is mine.

Wow. Your marriage sounds fantastic! Keeping score is a key step to a healthy relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it go. People don't use their brains. My FIL went around telling friends and family how his son bought a house. I earn 3x what the DH earns and the only name on the mortgage is mine.

Wow. Your marriage sounds fantastic! Keeping score is a key step to a healthy relationship.[/quote

Actually, it is fantastic and has been fir 20 years. Its the FIL that I have a problem with. He is stuck in the 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it go. People don't use their brains. My FIL went around telling friends and family how his son bought a house. I earn 3x what the DH earns and the only name on the mortgage is mine.

Wow. Your marriage sounds fantastic! Keeping score is a key step to a healthy relationship.[/quote

Actually, it is fantastic and has been fir 20 years. Its the FIL that I have a problem with. He is stuck in the 50s.

Well then I hope you set Fil straight. Did you make sure to tell him that his son is a deadbeat who earns a fraction of what you do and can't even be trusted to have his name on the mortgage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it go. People don't use their brains. My FIL went around telling friends and family how his son bought a house. I earn 3x what the DH earns and the only name on the mortgage is mine.

Wow. Your marriage sounds fantastic! Keeping score is a key step to a healthy relationship.[/quote

Actually, it is fantastic and has been fir 20 years. Its the FIL that I have a problem with. He is stuck in the 50s.

Well then I hope you set Fil straight. Did you make sure to tell him that his son is a deadbeat who earns a fraction of what you do and can't even be trusted to have his name on the mortgage?

It has nothing to do with trust, it just wasn't necessary. The world has moved on but people like FIL are blind to it - they still believe women's only use is to cook and make babies. I don't know why you find it so offensive.

[Anonymous]

I am offended when ANY spouse, male or female, get treated like a second class citizen by their mate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am offended when ANY spouse, male or female, get treated like a second class citizen by their mate. [/quot

Wow, assuming much?

[Anonymous]

Well, I guess if taking PP's words at face value is assuming, I'm assuming. If you are the PP, please read what you wrote. You don't about your DH like a loving and supportive spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I guess if taking PP's words at face value is assuming, I'm assuming. If you are the PP, please read what you wrote. You don't about your DH like a loving and supportive spouse.

I am the pp. Btw, his name is in the title to the house, just not the mortgage. Wanting to have your contributions acknowledged is not the same thing as being unloving or unsupportive, which was my point to begin with and related to the OPs original post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am offended when ANY spouse, male or female, get treated like a second class citizen by their mate.

You are really making a leap. People often put only one partner's name on the mortgage for a lot of reasons. In our case, it's because I own a business and we didn't want both of our credit lines to be tied up with the mortgage in the event that I ever need a business loan. We're both on the deed, but only DH is on the mortgage.

[Anonymous]

As I said, reread the,way you wrote it. How would DH feel if you said that exact thing to him? Or to his friends? Your children? I'm just trying to help you see that you were disrespecting your mate. We should all treat our loved ones gently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As I said, reread the,way you wrote it. How would DH feel if you said that exact thing to him? Or to his friends? Your children? I'm just trying to help you see that you were disrespecting your mate. We should all treat our loved ones gently.

In the circumstances I was describing he was perfectly fine with it and understood why I was offended. It's not as if I rub his face in it every chance I get.