How do difficult babies do in daycare settings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you all actually holding your babies 24/7? Even when I was home I put my kid in a bouncy seat and walked away from time to time. So he cried a bit. Babies cry -- it's what they do.

Some of your expectations of care are way overinflated. Babies need to be warm, fed, clean, cuddled, and put down from time to time.

I agree. I think too many parents expect providers to be able to do exactly as they do at home. The one PP who said her provider wore her daughter all day. THAT is ridiculous. And dangerous. When provider cooks, did she wear the baby then? My niece did that. She wouldnt/couldnt put the baby down according to her, so she wore the baby all the time. (her first child she apparently carried him on her hip All. The. Time.). Anyway, she was at the stove boiling water to make spaghetti while she was wearing the baby. Honestly, it IS okay if babies cry a little bit, but for gods sake (and the babys safety), Put him or her DOWN!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another former daycare worker here - babies ARE left to cry. How else do you expect two adults making less than $20 an hour to tend to 6 infants?

My theory is tha some kids are dandelions and some are orchids. The dandelions will do about the same no matter what their care is. The orchid/high needs infants need a high level of care and attention to turn out decently.

Daycare is great for dandelions and child abuse for orchids.

This is why I would not use a daycare for infants that was less than 1:2 ratio. We opted for a nanny share, which is 1:2 and pays a more-than-decent wage. But even so, I can see some advantages for the fussy baby in a daycare if it was 1:2 because there would be more hands to help overall.

As for the bouncer, swing, etc: I was uncomfortable with swings and bouncers etc at first, but I ended up agreeing that for infants, whatever soothed them was ok, as long as they also got plenty of playtime on the ground. I wouldn't want my baby to be left to scream in any location, so I was happy if our nanny could figure out a place where he would nap well and be happy while she had to attend to the other baby.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of parents on this thread who have plenty to say about caring for a difficult/high maintenance baby have never been in that position. Trust me, it's hard work and yes, I put my DD down but she screams and screams. How does it teach her anything if I just leave her like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was told that the fed centers in DC with NAEYC accreditation are not allowed to have any bouncers, swings, or any other piece of equipment that restricts movement. Anyone know if this is fact or fiction?

Ours is NAEYC accredited and does not allow bouncers or swings.

NAEYC accreditation has nothing to do with bouncers or swings. It's just how staff is supposed to behave, cleanliness, ratio, and curriculum. All major centers are accredited and most small facilities. Home daycares are the exception, they just need to follow state guidelines tone licensed.

If yours doesn't have those items than it's probably because they follow a more Montessori-based curriculum, it's has nothing to do with accreditation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of parents on this thread who have plenty to say about caring for a difficult/high maintenance baby have never been in that position. Trust me, it's hard work and yes, I put my DD down but she screams and screams. How does it teach her anything if I just leave her like that?

What, exactly, are you trying to "teach"? The studies about detachment aren't about kids who were out down for ten minutes. The only one being trained is you. I held my difficult son a lot of the time, but I also put him down when I could see there was nothing else to be done in that instance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chiming in on the swings and bouncers.....we also are in a local center in a fed building and no swings and bouncers are permitted, so places without them do exist. I've been in the same center since 2007 with multiple kids, and have to agree that behaviors at home can vary greatly from behavior at the center. From napping habits to eating, things were/are typically BETTER than at home. There is something to be said for structure, following rules, and observing peers that has worked well for us.

Same with our DoD center. Daycare provides are on the floor with them all day. No swings, bouncers ect.

ours is non-fed and same thing. And for those of you who think nannies are so much better than daycare, news flash: they don't act the same when you're gone either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This is why I would not use a daycare for infants that was less than 1:2 ratio. We opted for a nanny share, which is 1:2 and pays a more-than-decent wage. But even so, I can see some advantages for the fussy baby in a daycare if it was 1:2 because there would be more hands to help overall.

I know that there are pros and cons to all options, but we went with a large center where there are always two caregivers per room (and a 1:3 ratio) because I just couldn't fathom the idea of leaving my non-verbal children with a single person who I did not know all day. At least with our daycare, I knew that the teachers were rarely alone with the children and when there was only one teacher (such as when several kids were out), the director or assistant director either stepped into the room or checked in every 15 minutes or so. The daycare that we chose was in my spouse's federal facility and it also helped ease our minds that over half of the children in this facility had one or both parents who worked in the building and the parents who worked in the building frequently stopped down at some point during the day so parents were in and out regularly.

As I said, there are pros and cons to every situation, but this was what made us feel better about our choice.

[Anonymous]

Oops...reposting correcting the quotes.

Anonymous wrote:
This is why I would not use a daycare for infants that was less than 1:2 ratio. We opted for a nanny share, which is 1:2 and pays a more-than-decent wage. But even so, I can see some advantages for the fussy baby in a daycare if it was 1:2 because there would be more hands to help overall.

I know that there are pros and cons to all options, but we went with a large center where there are always two caregivers per room (and a 1:3 ratio) because I just couldn't fathom the idea of leaving my non-verbal children with a single person who I did not know all day. At least with our daycare, I knew that the teachers were rarely alone with the children and when there was only one teacher (such as when several kids were out), the director or assistant director either stepped into the room or checked in every 15 minutes or so. The daycare that we chose was in my spouse's federal facility and it also helped ease our minds that over half of the children in this facility had one or both parents who worked in the building and the parents who worked in the building frequently stopped down at some point during the day so parents were in and out regularly.

As I said, there are pros and cons to every situation, but this was what made us feel better about our choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another former daycare worker here - babies ARE left to cry. How else do you expect two adults making less than $20 an hour to tend to 6 infants?

My theory is tha some kids are dandelions and some are orchids. The dandelions will do about the same no matter what their care is. The orchid/high needs infants need a high level of care and attention to turn out decently.

Daycare is great for dandelions and child abuse for orchids.

Agreed. What happens most is that the babies are moved from one seat/swing/mat to another throughout the day. That is why parents who "pop in" don't realize what's going on. All the parents who defend the daycares either are clueless, don't expect much in terms of care or are in denial. Go work at a daycare and then come back to tell is what you think.

There are some good daycare but most suck. I'd go to one that has cameras in every room.

What do you do for childcare?

Our daycare has glass walls for the infant room. The directors office is across the hall. Her son is in the infant room with a provider who has been there over 25 years. Parents are in and put of the center all day long. There are 6 babies and 3-4 providers at any given time. Calling it abusive is not only horrifically insulting to the providers, but totally inaccurate.

My baby is - gasp! - sleeping in a swing in my living room right now.

You're all nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another former daycare worker here - babies ARE left to cry. How else do you expect two adults making less than $20 an hour to tend to 6 infants?

My theory is tha some kids are dandelions and some are orchids. The dandelions will do about the same no matter what their care is. The orchid/high needs infants need a high level of care and attention to turn out decently.

Daycare is great for dandelions and child abuse for orchids.

Agreed. What happens most is that the babies are moved from one seat/swing/mat to another throughout the day. That is why parents who "pop in" don't realize what's going on. All the parents who defend the daycares either are clueless, don't expect much in terms of care or are in denial. Go work at a daycare and then come back to tell is what you think.

There are some good daycare but most suck. I'd go to one that has cameras in every room.

What do you do for childcare?

Our daycare has glass walls for the infant room. The directors office is across the hall. Her son is in the infant room with a provider who has been there over 25 years. Parents are in and put of the center all day long. There are 6 babies and 3-4 providers at any given time. Calling it abusive is not only horrifically insulting to the providers, but totally inaccurate.

My baby is - gasp! - sleeping in a swing in my living room right now.

You're all nuts.

DH stayed home for 0-2.5 years and we then switched to full-day preschool. It was amazing and I wish he could SAH again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another former daycare worker here - babies ARE left to cry. How else do you expect two adults making less than $20 an hour to tend to 6 infants?

My theory is tha some kids are dandelions and some are orchids. The dandelions will do about the same no matter what their care is. The orchid/high needs infants need a high level of care and attention to turn out decently.

Daycare is great for dandelions and child abuse for orchids.

Funny thing-everyone thinks orchids are so fragile- they're actually no harder to care for than any other houseplant. People coddle them, but they survive in all kinds of conditions.

[Anonymous]

PP who said most major centers are NAEYC accredited is patently false and can be proven by simply looking at the list on the NAEYC website. MOST daycares are not NAEYC accredited.