Child care for to-be-adopted infant in the DC area.. overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

NP here. Not all of us adoptees believe in the primal wound.

[Anonymous]

Have you actually adopted so you know what you are talking about? Probably not!!!

quote=Anonymous]Why so angry? This is research about pediatrics and infants. The baby knows its mother is not there, baby does remember. Not for a lifetime, but during the infant period

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you actually adopted so you know what you are talking about? Probably not!!!

quote=Anonymous]Why so angry? This is research about pediatrics and infants. The baby knows its mother is not there, baby does remember. Not for a lifetime, but during the infant period

I'm an adoptive mom. There is some evidence newborns react to separation from their mom, but there's also a lot showing infants don't demonstrate signs of distress with caregiver changes until they reach 6-9 months & start having separation anxiety.

My daughter came to live with us at 11 months; I don't recommend transitions at that age, it was really traumatic for her. I'm not saying there's no trauma with a newborn adoption, there might well be some, but I guarantee you it doesn't compare to toddler adoption.

[Anonymous]

14:35 again, I should've been clear that I'm a new poster.

[Anonymous]

Here's what our adoption agency recommended in terms of bonding- our daughter was 10.5 months old when she came home. She'd been living with her foster family since she was 1 month old and was very attached to her. They required parents take off 6 weeks and said it could be split between parents. They also said that we should be the only ones to hold her/feed her/comfort her for those 6 weeks so that she knew who her caregivers were. We ended up not really adhering to that- we let family members hold and feed her, but if she was upset, we took care of that ourselves. I took 3 months off with her and my husband took another 3 months, so she had 6 months at home before she went to daycare. She seems fine today at 5.5 years old. The first 3 or 4 days were really hard- there was a lot of grieving that went on.

FWIW, I was also adopted, at 5 months old. I don't believe I have any issues related to "abandonment" or what have you, but I suppose one never knows deep down inside.

[Anonymous]

Stop putting horse before cart

[Anonymous]

The original post was about child care, not about bonding, attachment or anything. OP will be fine. OP, do look ahead. I didn't and I ended up staying home because I could not find anything short notice for a newborn. Good luck.