Children of gay/lesbian couples

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do think there is value in having parents of two genders to learn how to behave with people of both genders, and although these studies are compelling, I do think something is missing when children don't live with both genders. This goes for hetero single parents as well. I think humanity figured this out early on and this is why marriage was structured the way it is, to maximize development of children.

So many gender roles are taught this way. In a way that the occasional visit from uncle, aunt, grandpa, our neighbor doesn't deeply satisfy it. Our neighbors are lesbians raising two boys. They cling to my husband when he comes over, because they are so hungry to just see male behavior from a father figure. Their grandfather visits regularly. but they honestly find my husband more compelling.. The boys mother is very handy and fix most stuff on her own, but again- I think it's just a hunger to be around other men. When they come over to play, they spend much of their time following my husband around. I am not pathologizing any of this, and I know that their mothers love them very much. I just see there is a hole to be filled there that no one is acknowledging in this conversation.

Uh. My 3 nieces, who are being raised by a heterosexual couple, cling to my husband when we're around. It's because they like him. He's fun. They don't see him every day. His nieces on his side of the family were the same way when they were little girls. They also had a close relationship with their father. Come to think of it, our friends' kids (boys and girls) also cling to my dh. He never hesitates to play with them in the yard or toss them up in the air in the pool (they beg me me me! me next me next!), he laughs at their dumb jokes, etc. These kids all have 2-parent heterosexual homes! Some adults are just like that.

OP, your neighbor boys would probably cling to your husband no matter what, even if they had a dad. If it were truly just for the "hunger to be around men" then why don't they find their grandfather that interesting? Probably because his personality doesn't intrigue them as much, and they see him more often.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if girls of lesbian moms have the daddy issues that girls not loved by their fathers have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if girls of lesbian moms have the daddy issues that girls not loved by their fathers have.

I wonder if you are as stupid in real life as you are on an anonymous forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if girls of lesbian moms have the daddy issues that girls not loved by their fathers have.

I wonder if you are as stupid in real life as you are on an anonymous forum.

Defensive much? It was an honest question. And I'm not against gay marriage.

[Anonymous]

I would take any study or real-life situation with a grain of salt. Families are so unique and have so many variables that there is no way to accurately predict outcomes. Think about all the traditional families you know and how dysfunctional they may appear. A child in a non-traditional family may have some more challenges to face as they grow up, but how they are raised as well as their unique personality are 2 of the more reliable indicators of how they handle these challenges. I am friends with a gay couple and their 2 teenage kids used to get teased at school, but the parents were prepared for that and taught them how to handle these situations as well as showering them with love during these times. They are teased no more and are both very confident, active and popular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would take any study or real-life situation with a grain of salt. Families are so unique and have so many variables that there is no way to accurately predict outcomes. Think about all the traditional families you know and how dysfunctional they may appear. A child in a non-traditional family may have some more challenges to face as they grow up, but how they are raised as well as their unique personality are 2 of the more reliable indicators of how they handle these challenges. I am friends with a gay couple and their 2 teenage kids used to get teased at school, but the parents were prepared for that and taught them how to handle these situations as well as showering them with love during these times. They are teased no more and are both very confident, active and popular.

\\

what made you revive this thread?

[Anonymous]

I've got two lesbian neighbors who adopted. They are kind and caring. They are wonderful parents who are responsible and steady as a clock. Their parents spend time with their child every week. I wish they had raised me instead of my abusive alcoholic mom and her fucked up parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or there's this one from the American Pediatrics Association:

A growing body of scientific literature demonstrates that children who grow up with 1 or 2 gay and/or lesbian parents fare as well in emotional, cognitive, social, and sexual functioning as do children whose parents are heterosexual. Children’s optimal development seems to be influenced more by the nature of the relationships and interactions within the family unit than by the particular structural form it takes.

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/109/2/341.short

This. It's so painful listening to people argue or debate anything else.

[Anonymous]

if u look at all the research and research the researchers.. u will see some bias. be sure to look at pics too.

american academy of pediatrics, which came out right before the supreme court ruling on same sex marriage, was politics, not science.

its late and im tired and dont really care to write eveything out. but if you are interested you can look into it.

the president of the american academy of pediatrics worked for 10 years to get into a position to effect policy change. not every pediatrician agrees. glaad and other similiar organization have been working ft for many many years to get an "ally" as they call them or one of their members into decision making power.

they still are harassing the world health organization but the who hasnt surcumbed yet.

not here to get personal.. just saying to look a little deeper.science is undecided if sexual preference or orientation is determined. many change. i know a gay man who is now engaged to a woman. some women have encounters w other women in college yet move on w their lives. some people are attracted to children. some people change their sexual attraction and romantic attraction.

i think another buzz word in gay/lesbian/queer/transgender circles is fluidity,cisexual,cigender, heteronormative, and so on. these words have not developed organically but are used for political reasons. one could easily make up a word for one who assumes all sexual activity is between adults. just like heteronormative means the assumption that sexual/romantic couples are male and female.

the word sexual preference was moved aside for sexual orientation on purpose. trying to say its not a choice. but you know pedophiles could say the same thing. if you research the gay movement in the united states you will see how NAMBLA was part of the early gay community. in fact, one of their founding members was celebrated in a gay parade.

im just saying this whole idea that gay and lesbian, and transgender, and so on is good for kids is not scientific. and to be honest i doubt the other side can prove its bad either. both sides can point to research to support the views.

what i find odd is that its ok to take drugs, have surgery on healthy body parts to "change" ones sex but its not ok to go to counseling to try to examine same sex attraction and stop it. its illegal now in some states to take your child to a counselor if that counselor will counsel the child to heterosexual. the gay community says this is because you shouldnt change someone. yet they will advocate unnecessary surgery and drugs to change ones biological, natural sex.

i would have called myself a supporter of this minority group until marriage, public education, and children became caught up in it. in my high school we actually had a crossdresser or transgender boy/girl. i went out of my way to befriend her/him to be kind. i think treating people well and not being an asshole should be a given.

i also worked well w two gay men on a professional level. and in my 20s i danced in many gay clubs in seattle and dc and actually fell asleep in the same bed as a bisexual friend. i wasnt homphobic/afraid.

but now homophobic doesnt mean afraid anymore, does it? it just means you disagree w homosexuality.

thats my beef with the whole movement. it went too far for me. too far when it started to target children, influence them, and force them to believe things that are not even supported by science.

my husband says, will isnt it better than these kids not having parents? and of course the answer is yes! but that also goes for anyone. even a child with neglectful parents, or alcoholic parents is better off than having no caregiver. i think its unfair for adopted children or children from egg donors or sperm donors to be put in this situation- a social, moral, and scientific experiement.

[Anonymous]

not to mention that judaism, christianity, islam, along w other religions condemn it. even if one does not practice one of these religions or another religions which condemns it, it seems like it would be hard on the child to grow up knowing most world religions reject the way they were raised as being unhealthy and immoral.

om the flip side i understand the desire for children and it does seem sad and unfair if gay couples miss out on this part of life. but the fact remains gay couples cannot create life or children. they can only adopt or pay/ask someone to father/mother their child. so nature never allows for gay couples to have children anyway.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are so so right.

I am a lesbian parent who parents with my vagina, and I have inferior children because my wife and I are unable to fully parent due to our lesbianism. We are a loving couple and loving parents, but I know we'd be better parents if there was a penis in the house, but that is just not in the cards, so we make our girls suffer. I have made sure that no man comes to the house lest my girls cling to him, and I don't want them to ever have contact with boys or men so they will never know what men or boys are. (we homeschool, keep our shades shut, and never turn on a tv or computer). Since they have never seen a boy or man, they have no idea how they act. I am waiting for researchers to come to our house to tell us how we are damaging our children so we can repent and change our loving ways. If I do let our girls see the computer, I'll show them your post so they can know how damaged they are.


I also hope you tried your best to prevent those awful interracial parents from reproducing too--I heard that the offspring just clinged to white couples when they came over. So sad.

[Anonymous]

Really? Really? There are no loving religious communities that embrace gay families?


Please just go to your KKK rallies and stop debating the validity of others' families. With those horrible archaic attitudes, please stay away from supportive loving multicutural diverse communities in this area. And go to therapy to deal with your deep fear of your own homosexual attractions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if u look at all the research and research the researchers.. u will see some bias. be sure to look at pics too.

american academy of pediatrics, which came out right before the supreme court ruling on same sex marriage, was politics, not science.

its late and im tired and dont really care to write eveything out. but if you are interested you can look into it.

the president of the american academy of pediatrics worked for 10 years to get into a position to effect policy change. not every pediatrician agrees. glaad and other similiar organization have been working ft for many many years to get an "ally" as they call them or one of their members into decision making power.

they still are harassing the world health organization but the who hasnt surcumbed yet.

not here to get personal.. just saying to look a little deeper.science is undecided if sexual preference or orientation is determined. many change. i know a gay man who is now engaged to a woman. some women have encounters w other women in college yet move on w their lives. some people are attracted to children. some people change their sexual attraction and romantic attraction.

i think another buzz word in gay/lesbian/queer/transgender circles is fluidity,cisexual,cigender, heteronormative, and so on. these words have not developed organically but are used for political reasons. one could easily make up a word for one who assumes all sexual activity is between adults. just like heteronormative means the assumption that sexual/romantic couples are male and female.

the word sexual preference was moved aside for sexual orientation on purpose. trying to say its not a choice. but you know pedophiles could say the same thing. if you research the gay movement in the united states you will see how NAMBLA was part of the early gay community. in fact, one of their founding members was celebrated in a gay parade.

im just saying this whole idea that gay and lesbian, and transgender, and so on is good for kids is not scientific. and to be honest i doubt the other side can prove its bad either. both sides can point to research to support the views.

what i find odd is that its ok to take drugs, have surgery on healthy body parts to "change" ones sex but its not ok to go to counseling to try to examine same sex attraction and stop it. its illegal now in some states to take your child to a counselor if that counselor will counsel the child to heterosexual. the gay community says this is because you shouldnt change someone. yet they will advocate unnecessary surgery and drugs to change ones biological, natural sex.

i would have called myself a supporter of this minority group until marriage, public education, and children became caught up in it. in my high school we actually had a crossdresser or transgender boy/girl. i went out of my way to befriend her/him to be kind. i think treating people well and not being an asshole should be a given.

i also worked well w two gay men on a professional level. and in my 20s i danced in many gay clubs in seattle and dc and actually fell asleep in the same bed as a bisexual friend. i wasnt homphobic/afraid.

but now homophobic doesnt mean afraid anymore, does it? it just means you disagree w homosexuality.

thats my beef with the whole movement. it went too far for me. too far when it started to target children, influence them, and force them to believe things that are not even supported by science.

my husband says, will isnt it better than these kids not having parents? and of course the answer is yes! but that also goes for anyone. even a child with neglectful parents, or alcoholic parents is better off than having no caregiver. i think its unfair for adopted children or children from egg donors or sperm donors to be put in this situation- a social, moral, and scientific experiement.

Why would you write out this long response, but choose not to use standard grammar, spelling, and capitalization? Your writing style signals that you aren't sitting around reading the latest studies on gay families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are so so right.

I am a lesbian parent who parents with my vagina, and I have inferior children because my wife and I are unable to fully parent due to our lesbianism. We are a loving couple and loving parents, but I know we'd be better parents if there was a penis in the house, but that is just not in the cards, so we make our girls suffer. I have made sure that no man comes to the house lest my girls cling to him, and I don't want them to ever have contact with boys or men so they will never know what men or boys are. (we homeschool, keep our shades shut, and never turn on a tv or computer). Since they have never seen a boy or man, they have no idea how they act. I am waiting for researchers to come to our house to tell us how we are damaging our children so we can repent and change our loving ways. If I do let our girls see the computer, I'll show them your post so they can know how damaged they are.


I also hope you tried your best to prevent those awful interracial parents from reproducing too--I heard that the offspring just clinged to white couples when they came over. So sad.

See this is the problem ..you have lesbians who think like this--it's a vagina vs a penis thing. That's not is..it is having a male role model and all that comes with it..and it's important and when two women sort of convince themselves that it is not important they lose credibility. Same thing for two men. What is more credible is when a gay couple admits it is hugely important and has a plan on how to address. Some couples have an uncle who provides that male energy or a longtime friend but you can't just say..ugg no biggie on having a guy as an important part of life. I also should add when the the comparison is for a gay couple vs a an awful hetero couple it also assumes that all hetero couples are awful..well there are probably same amount of awful gay couples. The best for a child is two loving parents and yes a man and a woman is the best and if not that and we are coming to a time when man and woman is not necessarily going to happen..then a woman and a woman or a man and a man with a close relationship with the missing woman or man component.

[Anonymous]

Any studies showing disadvantages for SS couple kids will be put under a rug as being not PC.