What do you bring to a dinner party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should never bring wine to a dinner party. To do so is to insult the cellar of your host.

Utterly ridiculous. Would flowers be an insult to your host's decor? Or perhaps a sly implication that the house smells?

Everyone knows that a bottle of wine brought to a dinner party is a gift, and never expected to be served on the spot.

I'm with you! In fact, I appreciate people showing up with wine. Many guests like to knock back considerable wine at dinner parties and it's always nice to have a extra bottle or two
around to serve as back ups. As for proper etiquette - what was written long ago clearly is not valid today. Just refer to Reader's Digest's prescription for a 'good wife' in the 60's.... preposterous.

[Anonymous]

when accepting the invitation, ask what we can bring. If the answer is "yourselves", then we bring one of the following as a hostess gift (not to be consumed at the party)
* wine
* bourbon or scotch (lots of whiskey drinking friends)
* gourmet hot chocolate
* Christmas ornament
* wine charms
* "spreaders" in an appropriate theme
* flowers or plant

If bringing cut flowers, either bring them in a vase, or tell the host(ess) that you'll put them in a vase if you are pointed in the right direction. I LOVE getting flowers b/c DH never buys them, but when I am pulling things out of the oven, answering the door and handling coats, I just don't have the time to attend to the flowers.

Also, if you are bringing a hostess gift to any party, make sure your name is on it somehow. Although it isn't strictly necessary to write a thank you note for a hostess gift, I'd like to acknowledge it at some point.

[Anonymous]

I usually bring wine and never expect that it will be consumed that night. I've never even thought the host/hostess might think I have an expectation that they'll serve it that night. I've always thought of it as "thanks for having me and I hope you'll enjoy this in the future".

I like the flowers idea.

As someone who has struggled with her weight her whole life and currently is on weight watchers - I love chocolate - but if there was any left at the end of the night - I would probably take it to the office the next day for the department to enjoy. I try to throw out anything that I can't eat - it's too much of a temptation. I don't really care for homemade soap. The smell usually gets to me.

However, I would never imply, or tell a guest any of that. I give a huge smile, hug, and thank them generously for their gracious and thoughtful gift. Even if there are things I don't enjoy - why would I be offended or make a point of it to my guest?

[Anonymous]

Instead of flowers, I'll do a flowing plant. This time of year, an amaryllis or similar bulb would be nice, perhaps a pointsetta if you know they haven't had a chance to decorate for the holidays. In summer, maybe something that could sit outside on their deck.

[Anonymous]

I love flowers but find them to not be a good gift, because my cats eat them. If you know the host has pets, please ascertain that the flowers are nontoxic.

In the summer I just put them outside on the patio where I can still see them, so I can enjoy them. Otherwise they have to be tossed (or more often, rehomed) when the giver leaves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should never bring wine to a dinner party. To do so is to insult the cellar of your host.

I'm so glad somebody else was thinking the same thing I was. I would never dream of bringing a bottle of wine to a dinner party- that is part of the host/hostess's pride of having a dinner party - it would be like showing up at mom's house on Thanksgiving with a turkey I cooked.

A delectable dessert (fine chocolates, gourmet pastries) or even a delightful appetizer would be a better idea. We've also brought a beautiful flower arrangement for the dinner table (not too big so people cant' see over it) or to place in the foyer.

Thanks for your input! I had been thinking the same thing, but wasn't sure if it was just me. lol

[Anonymous]

Easy:

No to sweets. They may be diabetic or watching their weight. Some people appreciate their baking more than others do.

No to flowers. Allergies always possible (I wouldn't tell my guests if they brought some, but it would make for an extremely long, extremely miserable night!)

Yes to wine. No obligation, either way, and the token of appreciation is not missed. Adding to one's cellar is not an insult unless the people own a winery. Exception: the Salahi's, who have no graciousness, anyway.

No to "stuff". Note all the downsizing inquiries on DCUM alone.

[Anonymous]

Ditto the L'occitane or similar. Or a very fine olive oil.

[Anonymous]

I'm a "minimalist" at home and love to have dinner parties. So, if someone brings chocolate or soaps I will usually pass it on. My husband will bring the chocolates, cakes to work, but we don't mind at all because it feels great to share with everyone and they love it too. We, too, have a drawer full of stuff collected from everywhere, and "re-gifted" items, and I love it when I find the perfect person/couple to pass it on to. I love getting nice soaps, etc. even if I only admire, because it's a gift. Even though I don't like to have a lot of stuff around, I love giving and receiving. And, I wouldn't be offended if someone re-gifted my stuff (hopefully not me, but it hasn't happened yet!). If I bring wine, I always tell the host to enjoy it another evening, and she may even serve it when I come over another time when it suits the meal. One of the best hostess gifts I ever received was a tin of shelled walnuts that my guest had brought from his family's place down south. That was really nice!

[Anonymous]

A box of chocolates from Periwinkle on Livingston Street or from Leonidas in Georgetown.

[Anonymous]

17:00 - I love the olive oil idea!!!!

I know someone who brought some from Italy (!) to a relative and the relative looked at her like she had three heads. I was wondering if she could have just taken it back and given it to me. God knows what Dean and DeLuca would charge for it - seriously. What a waste on a dumbass!

[Anonymous]

Olive oil and l'occitane PP here. I also think a nice bottle of cognac would be good and THAT I would gladly serve post dinner!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should never bring wine to a dinner party. To do so is to insult the cellar of your host.

I'm so glad somebody else was thinking the same thing I was. I would never dream of bringing a bottle of wine to a dinner party- that is part of the host/hostess's pride of having a dinner party - it would be like showing up at mom's house on Thanksgiving with a turkey I cooked.

A delectable dessert (fine chocolates, gourmet pastries) or even a delightful appetizer would be a better idea. We've also brought a beautiful flower arrangement for the dinner table (not too big so people cant' see over it) or to place in the foyer.

Thanks for your input! I had been thinking the same thing, but wasn't sure if it was just me. lol

It's better to insult your host's cooking than his/her cellar?

[Anonymous]

If folks have wine cellers, wouldn't they love to get a bottle for their collection?

And I don't mind one bit getting flowers. Or even a nice little box of chocolates for me and hubs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of flowers, I'll do a flowing plant. This time of year, an amaryllis or similar bulb would be nice, perhaps a pointsetta if you know they haven't had a chance to decorate for the holidays. In summer, maybe something that could sit outside on their deck.

This is what I always do.