Just Curious: Post if you have a Masters, Law or MD and your parents did not pay for college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not saying that parents should not help. I am saying that an 18 year old should not be given a free ride.

It was the 1980's so I don't exactly remember all the specifics but I do know that my father said "you can get a loan if I don't declare you as a dependent". My dad did not make a million a year but he made enough that I could not get a loan if he declared me on his taxes.

He did not cosign the loan.

I was a GS-4 working for the Federal Government. I made about $8/hour - which I thought was like a milliion dollars. I worked on campus during the school year making I think $5/hour.

My parents gave me $100/month for food, paid for healthcare (which my dad said would basically only pay for saving my life - Obamacare fixed that though), I used the campus health clinic, I was given a 15 year old car to drive and my parents paid the insurance. I lived off campus because it was much cheaper.

I am not saying that my parents did not help, they did. They just did not give me a free ride.

I think when an adult child is invested in making these decision and is responsible for funding some of their decision they learn from that. (I think there was a whole thread on this in the Off Topic forum last year.)

My teenager will work this summer. He needs to pay for things he wants. If he wants a college education he needs to pay for some of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And I think kids should be invested in that education decision. So many of my friends who got a free ride just stayed in school until their parents cried uncle, or did nothing with their degree.

I think if kids have to al least pay something they look at it in a more responsible way.

Anonymous wrote:
Well, OP specifically asked what those of us with wealthy parents did and I responded. I honestly think parents should pay for a kid's college or not have so many kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, my parents didn't pay one single dime and we had 8 kids. Nor did we qualify for a dime of aid since my dad was a lawyer. I am a lawyer and I went to a state undergrad and state law school. Paid it all myself...husband had a multi-millionaire dad who paid zero. He went to a state undergrad (where we met) and private for MBA. We only had one kid so we could pay everything for them. We didn't want our kid to go thru what we did.

I wonder if your dad was not a lawyer and your husband's father was not a millionaire if you would feel this way. "go thru what we did".

My parents did not have money so "what I went thru" was tough but I would not categorize it as something I don't want my kids to go thru.

Again, please explain how you got the loans for college without a co-signer. Your post does not address that. I assume that as I 17 year old, you would have earned the minimum wage. For me, coming up with the $500/mos in rent was intimidating enough as a 17 year old earning minimum wage.

Yes, I managed to complete one undergrad degree, by waitressing and going to a city school, but not at the IVy that had recruited me for my sport( Ivy's do not offer scholarships for athletics). I was denied loans for grad school every where that I applied due to no assets, no credit history. That has affected my earning potential. How ironic that now, PP's on other threads assume that I am "gaming the system" by getting FA for my DC to Private ( on account of having met my parents)

LOL, I'd like to see an 18 year old today pay for college and their housing earning $8/hr gross ( what is that $6/hr after taxes), and oh, yeah $100/mos for food.

[Anonymous]

My parents took loans to pay for my undergrad, but made me feel the pain. So they said it was a gift, but I had to contribute $4k/year via a summer job. Any money earned above that and I could keep it. That was certainly most of what I'd earn in a summer, but I still had a bit leftover.

Grad school I had to pay on my own, so I just took loans for that. I did an MBA so I started that when I was late 20s, and already had work experience and savings by then.

I do like the $4k thing my parents did as it made me really consider the burden. I think we'll do something similar with our kids.

I ended up overloading on credits and graduating in 3 years instead of 4, which was a big savings. I tried to get my parents to buy me a car with the money I saved them but no such luck

[Anonymous]

LOL, I'd like to see an 18 year old today pay for college and their housing earning $8/hr gross ( what is that $6/hr after taxes), and oh, yeah $100/mos for food.

Well a GS-4 makes $14/hour now and I do think that an 18 year old needs to understand the value of money. So, $100/month in 1988 is how much now? They will not have endless funds no matter how much money I have.

My friends had $50 bar bills back in 1988. I had $100/month for food. It put things in perspective for me.

[Anonymous]

I think scholarships must have been easier to get when I was in school. We got scholarships, parents banked the money.

[Anonymous]

Merit scholarships. My parents made too much for FA, but not enough for private college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:parents made close to a million in 1980's and 1990's. They paid for my private undergrad (and two siblings), supported us with tuition and living expenses after college while we were 'finding ourselves in phD and Masters programs, and when we finally went to grad school(two siblings private, one public), paid for living expenses and made sure we got no private loans, but made us get the gov't loans for grad school. My wife's dad made more than 1 million a year---paid for her and her siblings undergrad and grad schools.

My parents have already told us that we won't get much of an inheritance, 500k each, only after their deaths---the rest is to be donated to various charities. Their thoughts were that they supported us during our formative (and past formative) years, so the rest of the money is for those that were less fortunate.

I don't make as much money as my parents did, but am planning on paying everything for my 3 kids as well. DD stars Sidwell this fall. I've already started the sleepless nights.

Thank you for being honest. Now can you answer another question:

If you were at a Sidwell function and you met a fellow parent who was say, a DCPS teacher, but you could gather that from meeting THEIR parents, that the GP's were very well off( perhaps they fly in from Europe for GP's weekend) . Would you assume these GP's must be helping with tuition, and how much of that assumption would be based on your own personal life experience ?

I ask in relation to another thread where it's been stated that "everyone just knew that the GP's were paying the tuition" I'm trying to understand where such assumptions come from.

I'm not that pp, but I would definitely assume that. I'm a Sidwell grad, dad probably made mid-100's in the 90's, mom stayed home. Grandparents paid, as did MANY of my friends' grandparents. We are doing public but if we did private my mom (who inherited the money from her wealthy now-deceased parents) would have paid.

[Anonymous]

I'm not that pp, but I would definitely assume that. I'm a Sidwell grad, dad probably made mid-100's in the 90's, mom stayed home. Grandparents paid, as did MANY of my friends' grandparents. We are doing public but if we did private my mom (who inherited the money from her wealthy now-deceased parents) would have paid.

As a sidenote ---as a Sidwell grad, why did you choose public as opposed to Sidwell for your own kids?

[Anonymous]

I have 2 masters degrees. I applied for and received fellowships to fund the first one. I paid for the second entirely out if my pocket. And I largely paid for undergrad by working as an RA, which covered room and board.

[Anonymous]

Pp again. I also work during summer breaks and saved money for expenses. There were no grand parents paying. Both of my parents have advance degrees n phd and college was an unspoken expectation. I've always been independent.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I understand the value of money, but setting the expectation that you must work , when deep down parents will CYA, including getting you that govt job for $8/hr, is very different from saying to a 17 year old straight A student: no, we will not help a dime, we will not co- sign, and, no, we will not give up claiming you as a dependent because you owe us for room and board the past few years since I married your mom. Now, get out on good luck.

[Anonymous]

While sitting on an annual income in excess of 1 million.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I also work during summer breaks and saved money for expenses. There were no grand parents paying. Both of my parents have advance degrees n phd and college was an unspoken expectation. I've always been independent.

How long ago was this and :
1) what was your parents income( could three have paid)?
2) was the cost of your education something reasonable to assume , because of what decade it was?

Would you have similarly been "just fine" if your undergrad had cost 30k to 60k a year and med school say 75k a year like it does now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I understand the value of money, but setting the expectation that you must work , when deep down parents will CYA, including getting you that govt job for $8/hr, is very different from saying to a 17 year old straight A student: no, we will not help a dime, we will not co- sign, and, no, we will not give up claiming you as a dependent because you owe us for room and board the past few years since I married your mom. Now, get out on good luck.

My parents did not get me the govt. job. I babysat. I was very responsible. I babysat a child every day from the time school ended until the parents got home from work for 2 years. The person I babysat for hired me as a secretary. My parents did get me the babysitting job.

But I did not say do not help, do not co-sign, do not give a dime. I just said don't pay the whole kit and caboodle.

[Anonymous]

A stepfather who makes a million a year should pay for his stepkid's tuition. What a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Me. Worked my way through both. Parents couldn't afford and that's ok. I'm fortunate to be in a position to send my kids to private. But, I will make sure they never forget the value of hardwork, and yes, they will be getting a job to help pay their own way one day. No private school can teach what one learns from good honest work.