Picky 7 yo's eating getting worse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three of my kids love spice and are great eaters. One is a terrible eater. We don't make a fuss. This is dinner, eat it or don't. No complaining of whining at the table about food - you can do that in your room. We don't talk about his eating at all. For a full year he didn't eat dinner at all - not once. Obviously this was more about control for him than food as there are foods he likes but he wouldn't eat them at dinner. Like your son he ate massive breakfasts as he was starving by morning. He ate well at lunch too (he gets the same thing pretty much every day as I do a little more individualizing for lunches) so I didn't care about dinner. He was getting enough nutrition.

He finally started eating a few things he likes at dinner. Now it is hit and miss. Some days he eats great, some days he eats one plain thing and some days he still won't touch dinner. He knows he is not to draw attention to himself for what he eats or doesn't eat. We completely ignore his food intake at the dinner table and talk about the day, life, world events etc...

If we are at someone elses home he knows he has to eat 'something' and not fuss about it.

He is healthy and happy - someday he will eat dinner!

This is the winner! Yes, it's not about food, it's about CONTROL. Don't make him eat dinner, but he does need to behave at the dinner table. If he acts up, then he's done and dinner's over. If he goes to bed hungry sometimes he'll survive and one of these days he'll surprise you at dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:07 again... and definitely, no short order cooking at dinner! ALL of the kids eat what you and DH eat (hopefully, "real" food, as opposed to kiddie food) every night. If they are not hungry, they don't have to eat a lot, but one bite of each item. Then NOTHING MORE until breakfast, which is at a generally set time (7:00 a.m.?) every day, even weekends.

Tighten up the ship, mom!

Do you have kids? Seriously, there's no way my kids have the pallet to eat the types of spices and flavors that DH and I have. I don't expect my kids to eat enchiladas or salmon. I give them cheese quesadillas and fish sticks. Your advice is not a great idea for a kid that has shown his determination not to eat certain foods. And then you want to take away the only meal he likes?

I'm thinking you haven't actually been through this except in the books. Don't you know: you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!

I actually have 3 kids, thank you very much, and all are great eaters BECAUSE we give them exactly what DH and I eat. If your kids don't have a great palet, thre is only one reason: you haven't exposed them to interesting foods. If you are eating the enchiladas and salmon and stick them with the quesadillas and fish sticks, I feel sorry for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:07 again... and definitely, no short order cooking at dinner! ALL of the kids eat what you and DH eat (hopefully, "real" food, as opposed to kiddie food) every night. If they are not hungry, they don't have to eat a lot, but one bite of each item. Then NOTHING MORE until breakfast, which is at a generally set time (7:00 a.m.?) every day, even weekends.

Tighten up the ship, mom!

Do you have kids? Seriously, there's no way my kids have the pallet to eat the types of spices and flavors that DH and I have. I don't expect my kids to eat enchiladas or salmon. I give them cheese quesadillas and fish sticks. Your advice is not a great idea for a kid that has shown his determination not to eat certain foods. And then you want to take away the only meal he likes?

I'm thinking you haven't actually been through this except in the books. Don't you know: you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!

I actually have 3 kids, thank you very much, and all are great eaters BECAUSE we give them exactly what DH and I eat. If your kids don't have a great palet, thre is only one reason: you haven't exposed them to interesting foods. If you are eating the enchiladas and salmon and stick them with the quesadillas and fish sticks, I feel sorry for them.

Aren't you just assuming the cause and effect? I have offered my children what we are eating (offered to let them smell it first or try a tiny bite) and they do not want it at all. I don't blame them b/c I remember being a kid who did not want dressing on my salad and I didn't eat veggies other than corn and green beans. The kids have seen us eating things for years and yet, they have NO interest in it.

And how do you explain when one kid in a family is super picky and the others aren't? Doesn't that just go to show that there are different tastes and different levels of rigidity/flexibility innate to each child? If the parents are the same for the picky and non-picky kids, how does your theory of cause and effect account for that?

OP, I really think you should try the 180 degree opposite of what you are doing now. Just don't comment at all on DS's eating. See what happens after 1 week. It's worth a try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:07 again... and definitely, no short order cooking at dinner! ALL of the kids eat what you and DH eat (hopefully, "real" food, as opposed to kiddie food) every night. If they are not hungry, they don't have to eat a lot, but one bite of each item. Then NOTHING MORE until breakfast, which is at a generally set time (7:00 a.m.?) every day, even weekends.

Tighten up the ship, mom!

Do you have kids? Seriously, there's no way my kids have the pallet to eat the types of spices and flavors that DH and I have. I don't expect my kids to eat enchiladas or salmon. I give them cheese quesadillas and fish sticks. Your advice is not a great idea for a kid that has shown his determination not to eat certain foods. And then you want to take away the only meal he likes?

I'm thinking you haven't actually been through this except in the books. Don't you know: you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!

I actually have 3 kids, thank you very much, and all are great eaters BECAUSE we give them exactly what DH and I eat. If your kids don't have a great palet, thre is only one reason: you haven't exposed them to interesting foods. If you are eating the enchiladas and salmon and stick them with the quesadillas and fish sticks, I feel sorry for them.

No, they are great eaters because you are lucky enough to have gotten kids who don't have eating issues/disorders. No matter how much you want to blame or how smug you want to feel, It's not lack of parenting skills that result in kids with eating issues. I bet my child with an eating disorder could run circles around your kids in other areas of life. But I wouldn't blame your parenting skills if, say, one of your kids sucked at sports or gymnastics because they were uncoordinated or not strong enough to do the skills that it takes to be good.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I would not make dinner/food a battleground. I do not like the hard liners' advice on this thread. I think this is a more thoughtful take on how to encourage your kid:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/childrens-health/HQ01107

I would consider cooking with your kid and involving him in the process, maybe even sign him up for a cooking class.

[Anonymous]

I'm struggling with this too, and I'm hearing two schools of thought for the kid who is truly a picky eater (not a behavioral issue):

1) Eat what the family is eating, or go to bed without
2) Eat what the family is eating, or make your own dinner choosing from items in a special bin in the fridge with his few items he likes.

It sounds like there is truly no way to break the cycle, other than the picky kid has to grow out of it. Depressing.

Are there no other means to get a kid to start eating and stop making dinner miserable for the rest of the family? Sorry, just venting.