Why do so many Americans seem to dislike children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is sure quiet about what culture she is from....

That being said America isn't unfriendly to kids. It's probably behind Mexico and India, but way ahead of Europe and Japan.

THis statement is just flat out wrong. First of all Europe is a continent with diverse cultures--the Swedes don't have the same views on children as the Greeks. Duh.
I grew up in Japan, and the Japanese are quite child-oriented.

I can speak for the Germans (where I'm from). They certainly don't like children in adult places, but are very accomodating with child-friendly options (like family cars on trains, don't bring your kids onto the business car). Don't mix the two, and make sure your kids are under control. There is little tolerance for brats.

[Anonymous]

12:59 + 13:17 - THIS.

Its not the kids we don't like, ITS THE PARENTS.

Self entitled parents breed self entitled children. Its NOT pretty and its NOT doing the child any favors!

If we can not decipher which children have decent, responsible, active (not lazy) parents then, yes it is a problem. Don't ruin it for everyone by letting your screaming brat have run of the nice restaurant or run of the airplane. No one likes flying, don't make it worse just because you are stressed and can't handle your kid. And I sure as hell am not paying a sitter to listen to your brat up beyond his bed time or at an inappropriate movie!

[Anonymous]

I think singe of it is Americans work a lot and so free tune us limited. Often money I'd limited too, so when people get a chance to go out they don't want their precious little free time ruined by screeching kids..theirs or anyone elses. I'd they got a sitter in order to have a break fin the kids then it sucks when you pay all that money just to put up with singe other kids. I'm a nanny and I like kids and am generally tolerant of kids in a variety if situations but airiness after a long busy week I want singe kid free time as well. I don't see anything inherently wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the "it's a family gathering so kids must be there too because they are family." The key is for kids to spend a lot of good time with their family members. What's the point of a rule that the always have to be there? Do the adults disperse when the kids go to sleep just to avoid a super secret no-kid meeting that would somehow hard the children?

The point isn't that kids should be invited to everything. We do adult only parties but when kids are invited I don't believe in the idea that they should be "seen and not heard".

The OP asked if this was true in America. The answer is it is true for lots of people but not for everybody.

So she is not crazy there are people here that don't really like kids and only tolerate them. There are people that like kids but think they should be good little soldiers and do as they are told every single second of the day othewise they are deamons.

There are also people that like to involve kids in their social settings. If she like to then she can find people like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this proves the OP's point. Some of the attitudes on here are pretty sad.

That said, it's not just America. Was in Germany last year and they seem even less tolerant of kids than Americans. Italy was totally different and one of the many reasons it's such a nice place to visit.

They're very child-oriented as a culture, it just isn't a free for all like the Italians. You probably violated a few unspoken rules and got the "stink-eye" as a result.

Funny, I loathe Italy. I think France is great, though.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the US is intolerant of kids I think it's intolerant of naughty kids.

I never blame the kids; I blame the parents.

When my kids (4 and 2) were feeling good and wanted to pipe up and be chirpy on the metro one night I pointed out other peoples faces and said "see her... him? Him? Her? Look at their faces. They are tired. They are going home and don't want to hear YOU being loud on this metro. Save it until we are around less people outside in the open." They weren't yelling or fussing, just talking loudly.

yet almost every night I see loud ass kids and their parents letting them be loud like it is their right to noise pollute. Note to others: I already have adorable smart children. I don't find it adorable or smart to hear every observatioin of your chldren as you smile proudly or ignor them on the metro. Teach them time and place and to read the expressions of others.

[Anonymous]

Because they are spoiled

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there's something to the OP's point and that's it not all just about children going berserk. I think it's more common in American culture than some others for there to be more segregation between generations in general. I'm Hispanic, and where I come from most events are multigenerational. For example, holiday parties are always full-family events, even NYEve celebrations, with everybody from grandparents to grandkids partying past midnight, even if it's a more formal party. We have quinceanera parties where 3 or 4 generations are on the dance floor together. I grew up dancing salsa and merengue with dad, uncles, cousins. My husband always spends some time dancing with my mom at Christmas parties. Parents were even invited and partying the night away at my senior prom!

In cultures like mine, there is just a lot more socializing between the generations and therefore a greater tolerance for having kids around. As a result, you're less likely to get the evil eye if your kid acts up; people seem more inclined to give it a pass and not feel like your kid is a personal insult to your "adult time."

So when and where do they learn how to behave appropriately in adult settings? Oh, right. They don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the US is intolerant of kids I think it's intolerant of naughty kids.

I never blame the kids; I blame the parents.

This! I think America is welcoming to well behaved kids. I have never been asked not to bring my kids. They have been invited to weddings and places other kids have not been. I will get a babysitter though if parties or events run late because it is too much for my kids to handle. I don't force them into situations that I know they won't be able to keep it together. I think this type of approach is very "child friendly."

[Anonymous]

The Americans who you meet who seem to dislike children are the ones who have seen too many entitled children being pandered to by the insecure parents.

This week I was in a small, local hardware store. A mom came in with her son, he was about 10. He took a 10 ft high tiki torch out of its display box and started walking around the front of the store like it was a walking stick. I could not believe the mother just stood there and smiled, then asked him if he was practicing to be king! I guess he was king in his house, but kids should not do that in stores with merchandise they are not buying- and the poor old man who runs the store was clearly annoyed, but what can you do? Lose a customer by saying something?

So yes OP, until kids start behaving better in public, I will choose to keep them away when I have events.

[Anonymous]

I know that my sister is hesitant to invite kids to her upcoming wedding. Not because she doesn't want kids there, but because she doesn't want the parents (who she really wants to be there to celebrate with her) to have to leave early. Obviously the parents don't have to bring the kids, but if kids are invited I'd assume that most parents would bring them rather than pay for a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's something to the OP's point and that's it not all just about children going berserk. I think it's more common in American culture than some others for there to be more segregation between generations in general. I'm Hispanic, and where I come from most events are multigenerational. For example, holiday parties are always full-family events, even NYEve celebrations, with everybody from grandparents to grandkids partying past midnight, even if it's a more formal party. We have quinceanera parties where 3 or 4 generations are on the dance floor together. I grew up dancing salsa and merengue with dad, uncles, cousins. My husband always spends some time dancing with my mom at Christmas parties. Parents were even invited and partying the night away at my senior prom!

In cultures like mine, there is just a lot more socializing between the generations and therefore a greater tolerance for having kids around. As a result, you're less likely to get the evil eye if your kid acts up; people seem more inclined to give it a pass and not feel like your kid is a personal insult to your "adult time."

So when and where do they learn how to behave appropriately in adult settings? Oh, right. They don't.

The precise opposite. They learn BY DOING, and by having loving yet assertive families monitor what's going on and reinforce good behavior. It is by excluding kids from adult affairs that prevents/ slows down their learning and instead builds a vicious cycle of misbehavior and exclusion.

[Anonymous]

Let's face it: its not just Americans or any one culture. Irresponsible parents who want to make something "all about them" or "isn't Johnny especially special".....No, actually he's not, neither are you. You were invited as a guest, so act accordingly. Flying or going to a wedding or going to a gorgeous restaurant is not a national event free for all. It involves other people. SURPRISE.

[Anonymous]

14:38 - Oh, the drama! I bet the kids get that from you, too. How exactly is that helping them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Let's face it: its not just Americans or any one culture. Irresponsible parents who want to make something "all about them" or "isn't Johnny especially special".....No, actually he's not, neither are you. You were invited as a guest, so act accordingly. Flying or going to a wedding or going to a gorgeous restaurant is not a national event free for all. It involves other people. SURPRISE.

I always find it odd that people think their every dining experience is so special and can't be spoiled in any manner. Is it because you can't really afford it and it is really that special?