What is the bottom line with this private school thing?

[Anonymous]

11:26 has an excellent point. At some point, you just can't do it.

I also have to consider some other comments made here. No, quite frankly, I do not always insist on the "best" for my child. He does not wear the "best" clothes and he does not (always) eat organically produced, locally grown, non-processed foods. He does not (always) sleep in fire proof pjs and does not play with the "best" toys. I realize that education is different, but we have to understand as adults that sometimes "ok" is good enough.

In the end, it will still be up to him to make his life what he wants it to be.

[Anonymous]

Interesting that the poster a few back mentioned "diversity" and "picking up bad behavior" in the same sentence. Are the two connected?
Anyway, I too, do not believe my kids deserve the best of everything, and I wouldn't give it to them even if I could. However, I do believe they deserve the best education I can give them. It's what my parents did for me and my siblings (we never had fancy cars or clothes, but we had a first-class education), and we are all successful adults today in some part because of it. My kids won't have fancy clothes, cars, or electronics, but they'll have the best education available. Because I can give it to them. This is not a put-down to anyone who can't; I wish it was available to everyone. But it would be unbelievably selfish if I could afford to send my kids to private middle school and sent them to DCPS because it was "good enough."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that the poster a few back mentioned "diversity" and "picking up bad behavior" in the same sentence. Are the two connected?
Anyway, I too, do not believe my kids deserve the best of everything, and I wouldn't give it to them even if I could. However, I do believe they deserve the best education I can give them. It's what my parents did for me and my siblings (we never had fancy cars or clothes, but we had a first-class education), and we are all successful adults today in some part because of it. My kids won't have fancy clothes, cars, or electronics, but they'll have the best education available. Because I can give it to them. This is not a put-down to anyone who can't; I wish it was available to everyone. But it would be unbelievably selfish if I could afford to send my kids to private middle school and sent them to DCPS because it was "good enough."

Would it be unbelievably selfish if you took the money for private school and put it into their college fund, cos the current local middle school is good enoughIf it's good enough, isn't it GOOD ENOUGH?
Or do you mean, it's not horrible, but it's not good enough?

[Anonymous]

Many folks who can afford private school can also afford college for their kids ... it's not either/or.

The "good enough" question can apply to almost every decision in life, particularly consumer decisions. If a 10 year old Honda civic would reliably get you to your destinations, why do you own a [lexus, minivan, SUV]. If there are four members of your family, one of whom is still in diapers, why do you need to live in a house with five bathrooms?

The bottom line the OP is looking for, in my humble opinion, is that private school is not necessary in most cases and not better in some cases, but offers a nice alternative for those who can comfortably afford it.

[Anonymous]

But even folks like us, who can (for now at least) comfortably afford it, hate the thought that we are somehow getting ripped off....

[Anonymous]

I would give my kids the best of safety, education, and health care, if I could. That said, the question that this all boils down to is can the public schools give the best? So far, no research has been able to say not.
For now, I will take it year by year. The first day my dd says that she does not want to be in private school, she is out of there.

[Anonymous]

I would posit that if you do not think the private school your child is attending is working for them, then it probably isn't the right place.

It doesn't mean it isn't the right place for other children, so there is no need to trash other people's decisions to bolster your own.

[Anonymous]

I am curious: How many private school parents went to private school as a kid? How many private school parents went to public school as a kid? How many make the private school choice because alternative public schools are unacceptable versus a "cultural" comfort with private schools?

[Anonymous]

I went to DCPS and send my kids to private.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I both went to public schools. We live in NW DC. My husband went through DCPS. We send our DDs to private school. Our special needs son attends a DC public school. My husband is a MC public school teacher. Constant debate in our home about public vs. private. But our neighborhood school is unaccpetable and our daughters are thrivng at their private school. I told my husband that if he wants to do public then we have to move to MC but he loves living in the city and does not want to move. As long as we can afford it, we will continue with private school and my son will hopefully attend private by middle school.

[Anonymous]

Both husband and I were educated in public schools but send DC to private ... today's schools are not the same as the ones we attended back in the stone age (some aspects are worse and others improved) ... so it is not really a fair comparison.

[Anonymous]

We are two public school kids. I went to a very well regarded school system in the suburbs of a large city in the Northeast. Good stats for grads going to Harvard, Brown, Penn, Princeton, etc., and I went to a similar very highly ranked private college myself. My spouse attended public school in the South. He was one of a handful of scholar athletes at his school (you were either one or the other), and attended a very good private college. My FIL was even chair of the school board for a number of years. We fully intended to send our kids to public school. Although I felt underserved, in some respects, by the G&T program in my public high school, my husband successfully argued that the diversity the public schools provide more than outweighed any nitpicky fault I could find. It was all neatly settled.

Well, then we moved to upper NW DC and had kids. The debate has not ever been rehashed. The kids are in private school. Sad, but true. Just walking into my local elementary school to vote is enough to tell me I don't want my kids going there, and it is supposedly one of the best ones. We seriously considered moving to MC to get public schools, but we love our house and commute, so MC became Plan B (if we did not get in anywhere we wanted to go). Maybe someday we will revisit the issue, but right now I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

I am also a DCPS graduate and send my kids to private school BUT almost every friend I have who grew up here going to private schools now sends their kids to DCPS...go figure? The grass is always greener I guess

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Are you considering St. Albans for the alum network and access to families in the ruling class? That is a payoff for attending St. Albans. Only you can decide if it's worth it.

This is an anachronism, is it not? I'm not sure if the "ruling class" still populates STA. I'm also not sure that gaining access to whatever approaches the ruling class that attends STA will necessarily ever pay dividends, can it?

I'm the poster who mentioned this. The answers to your questions are, I think, "It depends." Does the ruling class populate STA (or Sidwell or NCS)? That depends on what your concept of the ruling class is and on the perception of others in the community. I used STA as an example because that's the school the OP mentioned. Another poster used Sarah Palin as an example of someone who attended a mediocre school and still can run for VP; Joe Biden might be another example of that. But they are exceptions. If you're talking about the true Washington elite, then, yes, many of their kids still attend schools like this. Their alumni connections give them access to a social network that lasts well beyond high school. Many of them go to fairly elite colleges, where they further develop those social connections. You ask if this will necessarily ever pay dividends and again the answer is, "It depends," meaning it depends on what the dividend is. If it's the ability to pick up the phone and call someone who can grant them a favor or access, the answer is probably yes. It doesn't necessarily mean there will be a financial payoff, but I have never assumed that attending a school like STA or Sidwell was supposed to guarantee a better job or financial future. Nor did I assume it would guarantee higher test scores. Instead, it provides a solid education and either entree into or the continuation of a social network. It also provides the intangible benefits of feeling part of something that is elite. Those are the payoffs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Are you considering St. Albans for the alum network and access to families in the ruling class? That is a payoff for attending St. Albans. Only you can decide if it's worth it.

This is an anachronism, is it not? I'm not sure if the "ruling class" still populates STA. I'm also not sure that gaining access to whatever approaches the ruling class that attends STA will necessarily ever pay dividends, can it?

I'm the poster who mentioned this. The answers to your questions are, I think, "It depends." Does the ruling class populate STA (or Sidwell or NCS)? That depends on what your concept of the ruling class is and on the perception of others in the community. I used STA as an example because that's the school the OP mentioned. Another poster used Sarah Palin as an example of someone who attended a mediocre school and still can run for VP; Joe Biden might be another example of that. But they are exceptions. If you're talking about the true Washington elite, then, yes, many of their kids still attend schools like this. Their alumni connections give them access to a social network that lasts well beyond high school. Many of them go to fairly elite colleges, where they further develop those social connections. You ask if this will necessarily ever pay dividends and again the answer is, "It depends," meaning it depends on what the dividend is. If it's the ability to pick up the phone and call someone who can grant them a favor or access, the answer is probably yes. It doesn't necessarily mean there will be a financial payoff, but I have never assumed that attending a school like STA or Sidwell was supposed to guarantee a better job or financial future. Nor did I assume it would guarantee higher test scores. Instead, it provides a solid education and either entree into or the continuation of a social network. It also provides the intangible benefits of feeling part of something that is elite. Those are the payoffs.

Astute analysis.