Engagement ring question for the ladies.

[Anonymous]

If this engagement is not coming completely out of the blue, I do not think there is anything wrong with talking with your future fiance's sister or close friend about what she would like and having her do recon if the sister/friend does not know. It is possible to buy something she will like and have it be a surprise. Even though it was no surprise that DH was going to propose, the when, where, and how was a complete surprise and I treasure the memory. That said, he knew that my sister knew exactly what I wanted in terms of style and stone (I wanted a sapphire instead of a diamond) and he executed beautifully without any input from my side of the equation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't like canary diamonds at all. What I like doesn't matter though, which is why you really shouldn't do it if you don't know what your girlfriend likes.

+1

Go with what 99% of women like - plain old white diamond.

Sure, a few like sapphires or canary diamonds or whatever, but unless your GF specified that she does - trust me, she probably doesn't. She would have said so by now.

And, if you want my opinion, try to get a certified diamond with an excellent cut and clarity with a "V" in it. And round "brilliant" cuts sparkle the most. Personally, I went with a plain band to spend more $$$ on my diamond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go with bigger with si1 rather than smaller prefect cuts

I think this poster meant go with lower clarity (not cut) - like SI1 - so that you can go bigger. But definitely you have to get an excellent cut or else it won't sparkle much. Clarity just means are there spots in the diamond (mine is flawless, so it has none, but it's only 1 carat, hence smaller than I'm sure most DCUMs would prefer). My rock bottom though on clarity would be VS1. For me personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. Like shiny, frozen urine.

Don't do it, OP. Pop the question with a cheerio and then go ring shopping (if she even wants to spend a fortune on a silly piece of jewelry.)

+1

Part of me wishes that my husband popped the question ring in hand (he didn't - I picked it out) - but man, this is a really cute idea! If you want to let her pick it out, do this!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Based on the responses here, maybe you should just give her your credit card and ask what time you need to be at the church.

Such a romantic and appreciative bunch.

I was one of the PPs who suggested consulting mom/sister/BF. Clearly, he knows her better than we do, in that maybe she wants to be surprised by a ring. We need to give OP some credit. I get that for some couples this is different. Indeed, my husband and I went to get my finger sized, and while doing so, he was able to see what sort of rings I'd liked. He then designed a ring by himself and surprised me. I love my ring. My BIL consulted my mother to see whether my sister would like the ring (she loved it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Based on the responses here, maybe you should just give her your credit card and ask what time you need to be at the church.

Such a romantic and appreciative bunch.

This is a canary diamond. It's not exactly mainstream taste. OP asked. We answered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My jeweler gave me a great tip when I proposed 11 years ago. She told me that I had 60 days to return an item with store credit towards any other purchase. So I purchased a slightly smaller ring than I could afford that was the right size. I popped the question and gave her the ring. When we returned home (I proposed on a cruise), we went to the jeweler together and she selected the ring she wanted and we returned the first ring and bought the second ring. This way I had a surprise ring to pop the question with, but she still got to pick out her ring. We were both very happy with the results. Talk with your jeweler to see if this is an option.

Love this idea. Also, many women have a close friend who is their "ring broker" - ie: has their instructions. Is there an obvious person to ask?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go with bigger with si1 rather than smaller prefect cuts

I think this poster meant go with lower clarity (not cut) - like SI1 - so that you can go bigger. But definitely you have to get an excellent cut or else it won't sparkle much. Clarity just means are there spots in the diamond (mine is flawless, so it has none, but it's only 1 carat, hence smaller than I'm sure most DCUMs would prefer). My rock bottom though on clarity would be VS1. For me personally.

Si1 is fine, you would need a 10x loop to view inperfections, anything higher is a waste unless you friends use a loop when viewing each others rings

[Anonymous]

OP please consider: how important is jewelry/matching/"THE RING" to GF? If it's important, please please consult someone. In some cases (me, for example) - jewelry is just soooo not on my radar. I would have been happy with just about anything. I'm not picky about it. But some people are (not judging, just saying).
Is it important to her that it be a surprise? Clue: if she's a control freak you may want to discuss with her. If she's generally cool with surprises, maybe discuss with mom/sister/friend.
Or just walk past a jewelry store, pull her in, and say something about "what would you like in a ring?" If she has a specific list of likes/dislikes, you're all set.

[Anonymous]

I also don't care about jewelry but I did care about what my engagement ring looked like. I think my DH (then BF) and I were walking down a city street and he steered me towards a jeweler's window. I don't remember saying much but I do remember saying I liked princess cut diamonds. He sat on that piece of info for a year and proceeded to design a ring for me that is just perfect. If I hadn't liked it, we both would've felt awful. I think he just decided to spend as much as he could on a perfect princess-cut diamond and the rest of the ring fell into place.

For an engagement ring, I wouldn't mess with a colored diamond. She has to (and you want her to) wear it every day for the rest of her life. Colored diamonds scream "costume" even if they're beautiful. She can always get one later, if she wants one and she certainly won't resent you for NOT getting one for the engagement ring. Find a perfect emerald cut diamond and design an antiqued ring around it. You can't lose.

[Anonymous]

12:14, you're saying you wanted a princess cut but advising OP to get an emerald cut (which I have and love and just assume all women love because I am the world, here)?

OP, this is why picking one for someone else is such a mess.

[Anonymous]

Right. I advised him get an emerald cut because in his previous posts that what he said she liked!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, ladies (OP here). I appreciate the suggestions and comments. She knows the proposal is coming. I did want to choose a ring myself, but she pointed out some she liked. She likes the emerald cut antique style rings (the one I am considering is of this type). She hasn't said anything about diamond color, and I haven't asked. Based on some of the comments here, I think a simple "How do you feel about colored diamonds?" is in order.

He says it here.

[Anonymous]

I just going to throw this out there. Most of my friends bought their wive's engagement rungs through a friend who knew a jeweler or diamond guy. Me, I went to Tiffany's. My buddies said I was stupid to pay extra for the box, since they knew "a guy," but two of their wives told me that hey wish their husbands had sprung for the light blue box with the white ribbon. You may end up buying a smaller diamond, but the ring will be classic. Plus, you can buy ring and they will let her swap it out for a ring in the same price range if she wants a different setting.

[Anonymous]

Ask her. Really. Personal tastes are just that. DH knows me really well but he still can't get my jewelry tastes exactly.