Does it annoy you when medical practitioners call you "Mom"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely understand why it is done. However, I also think we have to admit that plenty of Dr.s disregard good ole "mom" and her concerns. That's when it is clearly condescending. Whenever my husband has come to ped appointments, his concerns are listened to in a different way -- that is annoying. There is a lot of sexism at play in the medical field, no doubt about it.
I simply don't think that dads are treated with the same dismissal as moms.

This is the only time I object to being called "Mom". I don't really care if a Dr or nurse calls me Mom or Mrs. Childslastname as long as they're being respectful and taking me seriously. It's when I get the figurative pat on the head and "don't worry your little self about this" attitude that I get irritated and offended. I've called doctors and nurses on their attitude in the past as well, politely of course. I've been brushed off too many times for issues that turned out to be serious to put up with it.

Just because I'm there with my sick child doesn't mean I left my brain at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Just because I'm there with my sick child doesn't mean I left my brain at home.

I am the OP and this is why it bugs me, and I don't think it has anything to do with calming kids down. I have been called "mom" during phone conversations with physicians/nurses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I completely understand why it is done. However, I also think we have to admit that plenty of Dr.s disregard good ole "mom" and her concerns. That's when it is clearly condescending. Whenever my husband has come to ped appointments, his concerns are listened to in a different way -- that is annoying. There is a lot of sexism at play in the medical field, no doubt about it.
I simply don't think that dads are treated with the same dismissal as moms.

This is the only time I object to being called "Mom". I don't really care if a Dr or nurse calls me Mom or Mrs. Childslastname as long as they're being respectful and taking me seriously. It's when I get the figurative pat on the head and "don't worry your little self about this" attitude that I get irritated and offended. I've called doctors and nurses on their attitude in the past as well, politely of course. I've been brushed off too many times for issues that turned out to be serious to put up with it.

Just because I'm there with my sick child doesn't mean I left my brain at home.

My DH is the one who normally takes DS in for sick appointments. He feels like the staff and doctors treat him like a freak of nature, because clearly the mom should be there.

If you have good insurance you shouldn't put up with a dismissive attitude. If you don't have good insurance you may have to put up with it, but you shouldn't have to. I wish more doctors had a way to give easy feedback about their staff. I've left one doctor and a few dentists over front office staff behavior.

[Anonymous]

Agree that it is respect/condescention that I notice. If I get called "mom" in a respectful way, it doesn't bother me at all. It's just as easy to be condescending and say "Ms. X".

[Anonymous]

There are so many things in life I care about more than this.

[Anonymous]

You know, I'm a psychologist and work with parents and kids. I almost NEVER refer to the parents as "mom" or "dad" when addressing them directly. (I may say it when talking to the child about their parents, but that's different). I feel it's my job to establish rapport with the parents just as much (if not more than) with the child. And give me a break, it's not that hard to remember people's names. I typically ask if they'd prefer me to call them by their last or first names. Then I do that. No so hard!

[Anonymous]

Don't care. I have bigger things to worry about.

[Anonymous]

This is dcum, where you can vent about things big or small. It doesn't mean OP does not have other bigger concerns.

[Anonymous]

My DS is a frequent flyer at Children's. I actally have come to love that almost everyone calls me Mom there. It feels like it is all about my child and making him as comfortable as possible. He has had 7 surgeries in the past year - anything that makes a hospital seem more comfortable and loving is a plus in my book. He also has a small army of doctors, resIdents and therapists. I don't expect them to remember my name - rather have them remember what they are paid to do

I can see why it might throw a new parent off guard. Just ask simply to be called Ms X and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine. Doesn't bug me when they call me Mom.

I agree with the PP. I really don't care if they remember my name. I'm not the patient. And, they've got other things on their minds (most importantly, the health of my kid!).

[Anonymous]

Who cares. They've been doing it since I was a kid and I'm 43. I liked it when they called my mom "mom". It made me feel comfortable. If you don't like it, tell them. Then they can call you "bi&ch" behind your back.

[Anonymous]

It does bother me. I'm paying way too much for their services...they make us wait forever...and then so no respect. They could bother to look at the chart and call me Ms. Whatever. I call them Dr...so they should be respectful in turn. I've never heard them call anyone "dad". It's just one more way for the establishment to discriminate vs. women....we're only good for procreating and being wives.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes the parent's name is not readily apparent on the paperwork so when I speak to a parent all I can see at first glance is the child's name. No way I am going to assume anything about a parent's name from the child's name nor can I assume Mrs, Ms, Miss. That would be asking for fireworks. Given it delays everyone and creates longer waiting times if I search through files and paperwork to try and find how this particular parent wants to be addressed, I wouldn't do that. We have moms, dads, step parents, grandparents, nannies, caregivers, foster parents etc all bringing kids in. Parents also get offended if I ask who they are in relation to the child. Really you can't win - ask and offend some, assume and offend some, go with the most common and offend some.

the same is equally true for dads - it has absolutely nothing to do with gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes the parent's name is not readily apparent on the paperwork so when I speak to a parent all I can see at first glance is the child's name. No way I am going to assume anything about a parent's name from the child's name nor can I assume Mrs, Ms, Miss. That would be asking for fireworks. Given it delays everyone and creates longer waiting times if I search through files and paperwork to try and find how this particular parent wants to be addressed, I wouldn't do that. We have moms, dads, step parents, grandparents, nannies, caregivers, foster parents etc all bringing kids in. Parents also get offended if I ask who they are in relation to the child. Really you can't win - ask and offend some, assume and offend some, go with the most common and offend some.

the same is equally true for dads - it has absolutely nothing to do with gender.

Great answer Dr. I wonder why OP didn't just ask a doctor instead of being a punk and venting here?

[Anonymous]

How hard is it for the nurse or doctor to introduce herself and be told the parent or caregiver's name in reply?