how to avoid putting young child in daycare for 11 hours a day??

[Anonymous]

The issue with getting the daycare by your office and telecommuting is that many people need childcare on telecommute days. You would have a commute just to drop off and pick up.

If you telecommute you need a daycare near your home unless you can hack the commute on those days as well.

[Anonymous]

What about parent 1 working from 7 to 4 and parent 2 working from 9 to 6. So, baby is dropped off by parent 2 at 9 and picked up by parent 1 at 4. You are both full time and have shaved 2 hours off daycare.

[Anonymous]

20:51---OP said she and her spouse do NOT have flexible schedules, and both work 8-5.

[Anonymous]

Actually the husbands is not and hers might be.... Even if husband works 8 to 5 she can work 10 to 7 baby gets dropped off late by mom and picked up by dad. What about getting family or friend pick up baby a few hours early?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about parent 1 working from 7 to 4 and parent 2 working from 9 to 6. So, baby is dropped off by parent 2 at 9 and picked up by parent 1 at 4. You are both full time and have shaved 2 hours off daycare.

Aside from the fact that this might not be feasible for OP, how can parent 2 drop off baby at 9am and still start work at 9am, like you posted? If one of us dropped off at 9am, we would still need to get downtown, which is an hour commute, we wouldn't get to work until 10.30 or so.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP who has a 10 year old now. Yes, of course we knew it was going to be a sacrifice. We knew before he was born that he would have to spend a lot of time in daycare. Obviously, I could never have anticipated how hard it was going to be on me to take him there and leave him there (because I had never been the mother to a child before). Still, I'm glad we did it. I'm sure DS is happy to be alive rather than have us choose not to bring him into this world because of having to leave him in daycare for a long time as an infant.

This is one of the stupidest things I've read on here in a while. This is your measure of doing right by your child?? Whether he'd be better off never having been born at all? I'd prefer a lot of unpleasant things over being aborted by my parents. I mean, if you left him in the woods to be raised by wolves while you went to work every day, he still might be happy to be alive, dontcha think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about parent 1 working from 7 to 4 and parent 2 working from 9 to 6. So, baby is dropped off by parent 2 at 9 and picked up by parent 1 at 4. You are both full time and have shaved 2 hours off daycare.

Aside from the fact that this might not be feasible for OP, how can parent 2 drop off baby at 9am and still start work at 9am, like you posted? If one of us dropped off at 9am, we would still need to get downtown, which is an hour commute, we wouldn't get to work until 10.30 or so.

This is actually what we hope to do. But it only (we hope) works because we both work near our daycare (and near one another), and our works/daycare are transit-accessible (since we only have one car, so wouldn't work otherwise). Parent 1 goes in early on train; parent 2 + baby drive in after rush hour (or take metro too) and park car near daycare. Parent 1 picks up baby + car at 4 (aaaah, this part scares me if we drive, since I will be Parent 1--possibly not worth driving!!) and Parent 2 comes home at 6, getting home around 7. He misses baby after work, but does get the smiley morning hours in exchange. I'm not a morning person, so it works to have him get the baby up (he does this schedule already; I haven't gone back to work yet). Right now I nurse and then go back to sleep while dad and baby hang out and make breakfast. When I start back to work, I'll get up, shower, and head out the door while they do this instead. *sigh* In the early evening, baby hangs out while I make dinner. Baby goes to sleep by 7, and when DH gets home we eat and unwind. It's not super easy, but so far it works, so we're hoping that adding daycare to the mix while keeping the same general hours will work. Fingers crossed!

[Anonymous]

I really don't see a difference between 9 hours of daycare and 11 for a child that age. Your baby will be taking a third nap at this point that starts somewhere around 4 or 5 o'clock and will wake up just in time to go home. We found showing up at 4 just messed things up. He was either asleep, or really needing a nap at that point. So now, we pick up at 5:30.

[Anonymous]

Also OP, get a daycare very close to your house. You don't want your kid in the carseat longer than he has to be. He's better off at daycare than sitting in traffic in the car!!! That's not exactly quality time.

[Anonymous]

Op if your jobs are not flexible enough for daycare, you are facing an uphill battle. Kids get sick and you or your DH will need to take off. There will be doctor appointments, dentist visits, emergencies, and a whole lot more of the unpredictable happening.

[Anonymous]

OP do not move closer to your work so that your husband's commute is longer. that is a ridiculous suggestion - his commute is already pretty long.

Another piece of advice to ignore - poster who suggests getting daycare near work so you can visit dc. It would be great for the next 4-6 months possibly, but once your kid hits separation anxiety age visiting them during the day can be really disruptive. With my son it just got to the point where he would freak out when I left b.c if I visited him during the day he thought I was there to pick him up and take him home. It was too disruptive to him. It is true that before that age it would definitely be nice, but not in the longer run, if this is a center you'll be at for a few years.

Also as you are thinking this schedule stuff out, just remember that a lot changes over the first year. There are a couple months where they are on 3 naps (and commute / last nap of the day is a problem), but that only lasts a few months (really only until 6 months or so for my DS). So just don't make super long term plans based on a schedule that's happening now. It all changes so much in the first year.

I think if you could work 7-4, he does drop off (at 7?) and works 8:15-5:15 or 8:30-5:30 (could it be a little flexible?), you could get to daycare by 5. 7-5, that's a 10 hr day.

I'd also recommend making a pitch for telecommuting one day a week. A woman in my office does it. Even if you had to leave DC in daycare 11 hrs a day every other day, if there was one day a week at home where you could drop at 7:30, get home by 8, work until 5 and then pick up at 5:15, you'd feel somewhat more sane. I think that day would be a real help.

[Anonymous]

Yes many kids turn out fine but many also turn out angry and aggressive due to daycare. The studies are out there they just don't get publicized as much so you mommys won't feel guilty. Seek and you'll find....

[Anonymous]

I didn't get a chance to read all of he responses but I hope someone pointed out that it's ok to leave you dc in daycare. They are there so you can do your job, decompress during your commute without a screaming child in the back seat and wrap up him/her with hugs when you see them. If your jobs are not flexible, they are not flexible. Jobs are hard to find now a days. If you like what you do and your child are is a good one, let it be. It's hard because your child is so young but they will be fine. I'm sure you do a great job when you see your child and have fun on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes many kids turn out fine but many also turn out angry and aggressive due to daycare. The studies are out there they just don't get publicized as much so you mommys won't feel guilty. Seek and you'll find....

can you point some of these out?