Anonymous wrote:Here's my story: I grew up in a really excellent public school district, far away from here. I got a good education from those public schools, but easily coasted to good grades and was never really challenged. Indeed, my grades began to slip some to the B range, because I considered it boring and unnecessary to study, and I would just take tests cold, without studying at all. After middle school, my parents switched me to a top local private school in our city, and my experience changed entirely. The classes were much more challenging, the teachers were uniformly better, the peer group was focused on learning, and it was even sort of "cool" to excel in academics. For the first time, I really had to study hard to get good grades, and I really loved it! I also experienced what PP described about participation in extracurriculars. I was a good-not-great athlete in the high-profile sports like soccer and basketball, so if I had gone to public school, I likely would have skipped organized sports entirely. But at my private school, all students were required to participate in after-school athletics or other extracurriculars, for all three seasons of the school year. As a result, I was pushed into trying a new sport I never would have considered at public school, and which I really enjoyed (and found I was very good at!). My partner had some similar experiences in another state.
For these reasons, our kids all attend local private schools, even though we have several very good local public schools near our house. Maybe my children would have very different experiences in our local public schools than I had growing up -- there's no way to know for sure. But my own experience made a very strong impression on me, so I want to make sure I offer my children the wonderful opportunity I almost missed. My neighbors say generally positive things about the very strong local public schools, but even they have many complaints and describe lots of problems that may be unavoidable at big bureaucratic schools.
Ultimately, I'm certain that it's possible for many children to get a good education at any decent public school. But I just see too much of a chance that many other children will get unintentionally "lost in the shuffle" -- or can intentionally "hide in the weeds" -- at large public schools. Those "lost" children will still do fine, but they will get less out of school than they should. Getting "lost" is simply not possible at smaller private schools where the focus is much more on the individual students.
I hope that helps explain my thinking.
Are you female? I'm just curious. I'm a man, but I think you wrote very well why private schools might be better for some kids. I went to a rather good public suburban high school, and I'll send my children to private schools if I can. I was very bright but late maturing socially. I was bullied and picked on at times. While my school was small, and therefore most students got a chance to play a sport if they wanted (as I did), it also meant thatyou knew the same kids from grades 1-12 without much new blood. So if you didn't get into a clique early in high school, you were screwed. That's what happened to me.
I went to a law school where many students went to private high schools, especially Catholic ones. For many of them, their high school friends are their best friends to this day. They have a network of alumni closer than many college networks. They are more self-assured, sometimes almost arrogant, but usually just confident. I have friends from law school who went to public schools too, but there is a difference.
As I've gotten older, I've realized that especially for a male, having a social network and connections are extremely important. Private school provides a better chance of providing this. Private schools can have their problems (some have issues with students using alcohol and drugs) but the academic and social opportunities do seem to be better than that at even "excellent" public schools.
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