Biggest Contributions to "Happy Marriage"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you think having plenty of money helps a marriage?

seriously.

I have an au pair and as a result am not constantly stressed out and overwhelmed. I only work 22 hours a week. I spend a ton of time with my kids but when I need space and time or need to go for a run, I CAN.
We have someone clean our house weekly. I am not knee-deep in mess.
We are not loaded but we have enough money to make life WAY less stressful and we dont have to worry about money very much

My marriage hit a very rocky path last year so money doesn't by any means equal a happy marriage. BUT I can tell you that if we were on a strict budget (no au pair, cleaning lady and less flexibility about work) the shit would have hit the fan WAY sooner.

Not having money woes is a huge boon to marriage. It can be the difference between "me time" and NO "me time", which is the difference between happy mommy and pissed off mommy

[Anonymous]

Tenderness. Whenever I get blazing-hot mad at my husband, I picture him as a little boy and it melts me. I also remember how blazing hot mad I would get if anyone would EVER speak to my husband in the way in which I am itching to speak to him, and it calms me down. We have true, true loyalty to each other. I am on his side and he is on mine, and woe to anyone or anything that tries to hurt either of us or come between us. We are like lions when it comes to defending each other and our family.

It helps that my husband is a very kind, gentle man, deep down to his soul. He has not be poisoned by ego like a lot of men have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you think having plenty of money helps a marriage?

It can help a marriage, certainly. I fantasize about it all the time.

But being comfortable has its own burdens.

[Anonymous]

Having a fuck buddy on the side helps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you think having plenty of money helps a marriage?

It can help a marriage, certainly. I fantasize about it all the time.

But being comfortable has its own burdens.

Like what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you think having plenty of money helps a marriage?

It can help a marriage, certainly. I fantasize about it all the time.

But being comfortable has its own burdens.

Like what?

Money buys options, for whichever spouse is in control of the money (usually the one earning it).

[Anonymous]

I love C9BL! BTW, your posts are not a broken record!

Anyway, here is why my marriage is so successful (not the we don't have those days!)

Being considerate. Simple things - like asking him if he wants a coffee (and vice versa).

Physical affection. My DH will come up to me and just start giving me a back rub. I can't tell you how much I love that! And as were falling asleep some nights, I gently scratch his back. He is also incredible at cuddling.

Great sex life! He travels a lot, so we get it while we can! So, between getting home Friday and leaving Sunday, we had sex 3x. Not a record breaker, but not bad with 2 small children that always need us.

Giving each other breaks (the aforementioned article kind of mentions this). He loves to golf. And he always asks. And I almost always let him go. And he does the same for me with my pedicures.

We are also dreamers, and are always talking about what we want to do next year and ten years from now.

We support each other, and sacrifice for each other. He wants to go back to school. And I support that 100%. It means that I'll financially support the family. But its his dream and goal, and I want him to achieve it. Just like he wants me to get back into marathons again. Not sure if I ever will, but its nice that he supports it

[Anonymous]

I am not married yet, but I totally think that frequent travel or time apart can do nothing but help the marriage. I've been in past relationships where we'll be out for dinner and run out of things to talk about. I never want that again. Never want to be the couple staring at their smartphones at dinner in silence. I personally cannot imagine spending every waking moment together. It's just not good. I don't care how much you love the person, you do get tired of anyone and you do run out of things to talk about. Some of times I remember most about past relationships is when one of us went away and meeting each other in the airport upon their return. It's such an overwhelming, strong feeling to see that person walk towards the gate and NOTHING else exists except for the two of you in that moment.

I also think that short commutes, normal work hours, and jobs with as little stress as possible are crucial. And I can't help but believe this is one of the major causes of divorce in couples around here. People are tired, they work too much, they have long commutes. It's just not conducive to a good marriage or family life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not married yet, but I totally think that frequent travel or time apart can do nothing but help the marriage. I've been in past relationships where we'll be out for dinner and run out of things to talk about. I never want that again. Never want to be the couple staring at their smartphones at dinner in silence. I personally cannot imagine spending every waking moment together. It's just not good. I don't care how much you love the person, you do get tired of anyone and you do run out of things to talk about. Some of times I remember most about past relationships is when one of us went away and meeting each other in the airport upon their return. It's such an overwhelming, strong feeling to see that person walk towards the gate and NOTHING else exists except for the two of you in that moment.

I also think that short commutes, normal work hours, and jobs with as little stress as possible are crucial. And I can't help but believe this is one of the major causes of divorce in couples around here. People are tired, they work too much, they have long commutes. It's just not conducive to a good marriage or family life.

And yet you felt the need to weigh in here. Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you think having plenty of money helps a marriage?

It can help a marriage, certainly. I fantasize about it all the time.

But being comfortable has its own burdens.

Like what?

Money buys options, for whichever spouse is in control of the money (usually the one earning it).

We both earn about 50% of the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you think having plenty of money helps a marriage?

It can help a marriage, certainly. I fantasize about it all the time.

But being comfortable has its own burdens.

Like what?

Money buys options, for whichever spouse is in control of the money (usually the one earning it).

We both earn about 50% of the money.

Who is better looking?