Are rich/connected kids given special treatment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No reputable high school will jeopardize their chances at college admissions by pushing their graduates onto colleges where they don't have a chance at succeeding. The colleges keep very good track records of high schools, and the ones that send mediocre students end up shooting themselves in the foot. This also, over the long term, hurts the high school, too. College placements at top tier schools will nosedive. And don't forget that college admissions officers have their own unofficial networks. If one admissions officer hears that school X's college counselors do a bad job of finding a good match, that will be a topic of conversation with admissions officers at other schools.

There certainly is quite a bit of truth here. I think the problems arise when the students are somewhat equal and one gets the nod over another. I think that the school's support does help. The problem is that many of the top third or half at the top schools are qualified applicants, i.e. they could easily do the work. Our top privates (and some of the publics as well) are a brand. Many bright, accomplished well educated students. They are not all going to get into a top 5 or top 10 school. I think it is naive to think that schools do not promote some students over others. Of course they do. The real wild card is how much the parents are exerting influence, through money or contacts, behind the scenes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's private school the wealthy parents on the board (seated on stage with the graduates) all saw fit to give their children hugs and kisses as they received their diplomas. One woman even marched from her seat up the stairs and on to the stage to personally congratulate her daughter. As one of my friends noted, "Now we understand who owns the school".

Sounds like the NCS graduation ceremony.

If you ARE talking about NCS, there is a tradition for the child of any faculty, staff, or trustee to be handed the diploma by their parent.

You may have noticed that Manuel, a maintenance worker, handed his daughter her diploma last year. NCS likes to honor the extraordinary service (not money) that these parents provide to the school by instructing them to participate in commencement in this way. The parents aren't taking it upon themselves to do this.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][
FWIW, we saw this happen in a private feeder school when it came time to recommend kids to the next private school. The kids with the highest test scores and grades didn't always do as well as the kids with the moms who were at the school every day volunteering, or with the families who donated big bucks. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it. DC got into a big 3, so no sour grapes here, but DC's case was NOT the norm.[/quote]

Why is it a problem that the kids whose parents volunteered most were accepted at the "next" private school? Seems to me that the lower school doesn't have to push those children's applications at all. When the application form for the school includes a question about parental involvement, how do you expect the school to answer? And why wouldn't other schools want active, involved parents?

I have seen this phenomenon at my kids' "feeder" school, and it doesn't bother me in the least.

[Anonymous]

"Gatekeeping" may happen in any environment; however, there is more room for abuse in private schools... from requiring "approval" for students to take AP classes to "we advocate" for every child in our school when they apply to the next school (i.e., lower/middle school to high school, HS to college). Sometimes its better/fairer for a students and his or her record speak for itself. I am sure many of you have witnessed subtle and not so subtle abuse of power.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's private school the wealthy parents on the board (seated on stage with the graduates) all saw fit to give their children hugs and kisses as they received their diplomas. One woman even marched from her seat up the stairs and on to the stage to personally congratulate her daughter. As one of my friends noted, "Now we understand who owns the school".

Sounds like the NCS graduation ceremony.

If you ARE talking about NCS, there is a tradition for the child of any faculty, staff, or trustee to be handed the diploma by their parent.

You may have noticed that Manuel, a maintenance worker, handed his daughter her diploma last year. NCS likes to honor the extraordinary service (not money) that these parents provide to the school by instructing them to participate in commencement in this way. The parents aren't taking it upon themselves to do this.

Favoritism for staff and donor children in disciplinary actions, accolades,chosen positions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's private school the wealthy parents on the board (seated on stage with the graduates) all saw fit to give their children hugs and kisses as they received their diplomas. One woman even marched from her seat up the stairs and on to the stage to personally congratulate her daughter. As one of my friends noted, "Now we understand who owns the school".

Sounds like the NCS graduation ceremony.

If you ARE talking about NCS, there is a tradition for the child of any faculty, staff, or trustee to be handed the diploma by their parent.

You may have noticed that Manuel, a maintenance worker, handed his daughter her diploma last year. NCS likes to honor the extraordinary service (not money) that these parents provide to the school by instructing them to participate in commencement in this way. The parents aren't taking it upon themselves to do this.

Yes, pp it was charming to have the janitor give his daughter a loving kiss and hug with everyone else on stage. We're all one, of course. I suppose not many recognized that Manuel is a maintenance worker at the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's private school the wealthy parents on the board (seated on stage with the graduates) all saw fit to give their children hugs and kisses as they received their diplomas. One woman even marched from her seat up the stairs and on to the stage to personally congratulate her daughter. As one of my friends noted, "Now we understand who owns the school".

Sounds like the NCS graduation ceremony.

If you ARE talking about NCS, there is a tradition for the child of any faculty, staff, or trustee to be handed the diploma by their parent.

You may have noticed that Manuel, a maintenance worker, handed his daughter her diploma last year. NCS likes to honor the extraordinary service (not money) that these parents provide to the school by instructing them to participate in commencement in this way. The parents aren't taking it upon themselves to do this.

Yes, pp it was charming to have the janitor give his daughter a loving kiss and hug with everyone else on stage. We're all one, of course. I suppose not many recognized that Manuel is a maintenance worker at the school.

Wow, nasty response. The previous posts either stated or implied that only wealthy parents got to go on stage to hand out diplomas, and the poster gave an example that contradicted the direction of the thread. Quite relevant. Why would you be so unpleasant about this?

In terms of this general issue, at St. Albans, as at NCS, any staff member/teacher with a child who is graduating goes up on stage and presents the diploma. It's a nice tradition and everyone not seething with resentment and bile likes it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's private school the wealthy parents on the board (seated on stage with the graduates) all saw fit to give their children hugs and kisses as they received their diplomas. One woman even marched from her seat up the stairs and on to the stage to personally congratulate her daughter. As one of my friends noted, "Now we understand who owns the school".

Sounds like the NCS graduation ceremony.

If you ARE talking about NCS, there is a tradition for the child of any faculty, staff, or trustee to be handed the diploma by their parent.

You may have noticed that Manuel, a maintenance worker, handed his daughter her diploma last year. NCS likes to honor the extraordinary service (not money) that these parents provide to the school by instructing them to participate in commencement in this way. The parents aren't taking it upon themselves to do this.

Yes, pp it was charming to have the janitor give his daughter a loving kiss and hug with everyone else on stage. We're all one, of course. I suppose not many recognized that Manuel is a maintenance worker at the school.

Wow, nasty response. The previous posts either stated or implied that only wealthy parents got to go on stage to hand out diplomas, and the poster gave an example that contradicted the direction of the thread. Quite relevant. Why would you be so unpleasant about this?

In terms of this general issue, at St. Albans, as at NCS, any staff member/teacher with a child who is graduating goes up on stage and presents the diploma. It's a nice tradition and everyone not seething with resentment and bile likes it.

NP, at this particular graduation it was Manuel and the wealthy board member-parents on the stage congratulating their daughters. It was charming to have a maintenance (staff) member up with everyone else. Was any of the extraordinary kitchen staff up there this year?

[Anonymous]

Why are posters naming the maintance worker by name? Not that it would be right, but no one is identifying the board member and/or rich parent(s) by their names. Some of you are disgusting.

[Anonymous]

So gross the way pps are referring to the maintenance member being on stage as "charming." It is so dismissive and condescending. I say, good for the maintenance man and family. I hope they take all the positives from the school experience and brush off the classist b.s. so evident in these posts (and, sadly, I'm sure, the even more stinging ones they have been subjected to in real life).

[Anonymous]

18:24's comments are right on point. The snobbish attitude by too many people here in and our schools/communities is plain ugly; and unfortunately too many times you can already see it in their children too. Hopefully one day these people will experience the negative treatment they dish out to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So gross the way pps are referring to the maintenance member being on stage as "charming." It is so dismissive and condescending. I say, good for the maintenance man and family. I hope they take all the positives from the school experience and brush off the classist b.s. so evident in these posts (and, sadly, I'm sure, the even more stinging ones they have been subjected to in real life).

The classicist bs is singling him out as the maintenance worker and not simply referring to him as staff. His daughter's positive from this experience was graduating out of the land of NCS and enjoying college life around real people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So gross the way pps are referring to the maintenance member being on stage as "charming." It is so dismissive and condescending. I say, good for the maintenance man and family. I hope they take all the positives from the school experience and brush off the classist b.s. so evident in these posts (and, sadly, I'm sure, the even more stinging ones they have been subjected to in real life).

The classicist bs is singling him out as the maintenance worker and not simply referring to him as staff. His daughter's positive from this experience was graduating out of the land of NCS and enjoying college life around real people.

I think that the point of identifying his position was to underscore that it isn't only rich people in the community who have the honor to award their daughters' diplomas personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that the point of identifying his position was to underscore that it isn't only rich people in the community who have the honor to award their daughters' diplomas personally.

ITA. This seems a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation for many people here.

[Anonymous]

PPs thanks for the heads up regarding NCS's graduation tradition. Next year, I plan to run through the aisles and jump up on stage when my daughter's name is called and give her a big hug and kiss and present her diploma. I'm not on the board nor am I a faculty or staff member, I just don't want my DD to feel left out. Screw NCS and its traditions!