Massive paranoia about flame retardants in baby gear and hubby is angry! HELP!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I'm another neurotic mom! I don't regret it one bit and in fact, my complete neuroticism about this the first time around completely scared everyone around me about gifts for us and our baby, so we've received minimal plastic, toxic junk (which aside from the health and environmental concerns is ugly and bulky and frankly we don't have the space for).

thanks for all the tips! I have to use disposable diapers b/c my kid will be in daycare (can you imagine if I asked them to clean cloth ones?!?! LOL). But I will try the ones you suggested although my MIL bought about 10 boxes of Huggies Pure and Natural, which have an organic cotton cover, but I am sure underneath they are normal diapers with chemicals.

I have bought all Naturepedic Organic mattresses (for crib, bassinet, moses basket) and I am hoping that even though they are mainstream, that it's a reputable brand -- they have a lot of certifications and customer service is great and helpful.

I bought my crib from Organic grace and it's solid wood with non-toxic finish. Have an organic BabyBjorn bouncer seat, glass bottles, BPA free eat-wear (made by Think Baby).

What about pacifiers? Any recommendations?

I got all hand me down clothes, so very few organic items there......

The pressure to buy all these junkie swings, bouncers, pack and plays is incredible. People bought us tons of stuff I don't want for my shower -- plastics, polyesters, fisher price cr*p. Some I can return and some I can't. I also got a lot of hand me down junk from friends and family. I don't need to use it, but the pressure is there to use this "cute, adorable" toxic baby stuff! My husband wants to use it all too and does not believe my concern about toxins.

[Anonymous]

Neurotic Mom,

Anonymous wrote:OP - I'm another neurotic mom! I don't regret it one bit and in fact, my complete neuroticism about this the first time around completely scared everyone around me about gifts for us and our baby, so we've received minimal plastic, toxic junk (which aside from the health and environmental concerns is ugly and bulky and frankly we don't have the space for). So relax, try to be calm around your husband so your relationship doesn't suffer, but view this as just the first of many mama bear battles you'll wage for your little one. These are REAL dangers whether other posters believe them or not. If you're a non-smoking household (which you should be if you're not now, because talk about toxins!), then your baby's risk of catching fire is virtually nil...so you do NOT need all those fire retardants that were mandated when smoking was much more common and fire a much more real threat.

can you make suggestions for a car seat, stroller and pacifiers? DO the car seats and strollers have flame retardants? Can you send me a link to the Svan high chair, there are a few to choose from?

[Anonymous]

14:10, how are you going to handle all the toxins your kid will be exposed to at daycare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14:10, how are you going to handle all the toxins your kid will be exposed to at daycare?

Haven't gotten to that one yet!

[Anonymous]

No to be rude, but I kind of agree with your husband - you sound as if you're trying to create a bubble for your baby to live in! I can't imagine that the millions of parents who buy their children Fischer Price and other things (like normal, approved mattresses!) have exposed their kids to horrible dangers. I have never even given these things so much thought and feel that you must be driving yourself (and your husband!) crazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

but I am sure underneath they are normal diapers with chemicals.

People bought us tons of stuff I don't want for my shower -- plastics, polyesters, fisher price cr*p. Some I can return and some I can't. I also got a lot of hand me down junk from friends and family. I don't need to use it, but the pressure is there to use this "cute, adorable" toxic baby stuff! My husband wants to use it all too and does not believe my concern about toxins.

1. Based on the way you are writing about "chemicals" and "toxins," you CLEARLY have no idea of how the science of this stuff actually works. You, like the rest of these moms who think they are performing some sort of miracle work for their child by purchasing everything "organic," are having knee-jerk reactions to bad, incomplete scientific data. Do you really think that in the United States, the land of the most extensive baby-product regulations in the world, companies are surreptitiously filling your home with products that are going to give your child cancer?

2. Not to be crass, but you are coming across like such an ungrateful bitch. HOW DARE those friends and family BUY you Fisher Price products!!!! Obviously they are trying to poison your child and cause him or her to develop some freakish malformation or rare disease.

3. The fact that your child is going to be in daycare full time and you are still going on this crusade to eradicate TOXINS TOXINS CHEMICALS CHEMICALS OMG OMG OMG from your home makes you that much more ludicrous.

4. Your husband is a saint, and you should thank your lucky stars that he is willing to put up with your neurotic bullshit. I can tell just by your few posts too that you probably get all high-and-mighty and self-righteous with him about this subject too, since you are clearly the parent who is more concerned about your child's health and well-being and just doesn't give a shit because he's okay with using Satan's, I mean Fisher Price, products.

5. I'm only being this harsh because you have done nothing with this thread but attract the other neurotic moms who are just enabling you and letting you justify your paranoia. Your feelings about this are irrational, idiotic, and outlandish. You are not a better mom because you are doing this. You are just pissing off your husband, because I'm sure he gets an earful about this all the time. And you are pissing off your unborn baby, because he can already tell that you are going to make his life miserable with your unfounded neuroses that you will undoubtedly impose upon him. I guess it won't matter though, since you and the other organic moms and their toxin-free children are going to be the only ones left after the rest of us and our children perish from our exposure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:14:10, how are you going to handle all the toxins your kid will be exposed to at daycare?

Haven't gotten to that one yet!

Kind of seems pointless to strain your marriage over the toxins issue at home if your baby's going to spend half of his waking time at a daycare you won't be able to control.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, there may be some dangers from the chemicals in baby products, but the science is not definitive and to the extent we know anything it's that the chemicals increase the very small risks of various diseases.

By contrast, the science is much more clear that growing up with parents in a bad marriage or who are under a lot of stress is clearly bad for kids. Try to remember that - by relaxing a bit and helping your marriage, your will be doing what is best for your kid!!!!!

[Anonymous]

19:43 is right.

You (and all the other neurotic moms to be on this thread) might as well get over this now--if you can't handle the thought of a non-organic fabric touching your child, how are you going to handle it when your kid is mobile and literally licking the floors at every establishment you take him to?

[Anonymous]

PPs are alluding to the Lowest Common Denominator.

First poster checking back in.
Just because oceans of plastic are available, it does not mean that they are safe. The silly notion that the seriously underfunded FDA, EPA or other organization would lift a finger to ban long-term cancer-causing chemicals is ridiculous. That is not their job. It should be, but the world's economy right now and for the foreseeable future is based on readily available cheap chemicals to make manufacturing processes easier. That is very hard to budge, and would take a mound of painstakingly researched data as well as a strong worldwide political push to change things. And, of course, every product would become much more expensive.

We are not at the level of Chinese dairy farms adding melamine in the milk and causing infant deaths.
We are not at the level of the stricter European standards (which are still not enough).
So it is up to every parent to educate themselves and decide what their risk tolerance is for long-term health problems in themselves, their children and grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

When you get divorced, all this will be a wash anyway--I doubt your husband is going to follow your neurotic rules during the 50% of the time he gets the kid.

He'll probably let your kid suck and chew on the Fisher Price Little People airplane just to spite you.

Maybe he'll even be awarded full custody because you'll be institutionalized by then.

[Anonymous]

Amen to 20:00! For those who think we're too neurotic...it's ok that you don't believe, we're advocating for changes that will help your kids too.

OP asked for specific recommendations for some other stuff I stuff and I actually forgot mention a couple of sites I found very helpful (I posted earlier).

www.cosmeticsdatabase.com --> check this out for environmental toxin ratings and information on household products, including baby care products. You'd be surprised at the stuff some of the products you think are "natural" have.

www.healthystuff.org

Also - about daycare:
- If you're exclusively breastfeeding the first 6 months, you don't have to ask them to clean anything off...EBF poop comes right out in the washer. It's literally like changing a disposable diaper, except instead of throwing a used one in the trash, you give them a nice wetbag that doesn't stink, you take it home and wash diapers every few days
- After 6 months, it gets a little messy but we solved that problem by doing it ourselves...meaning, the process did not change AT ALL for the daycare, they just kept throwing the wet and dirty diapers in the bag and we deal with them at home.
- If you are interested in trying cloth for daycare, definitely look into the "all-in-one" diapers that are just one piece, easy as disposables...but if not, remember you can still use them at home and on the weekends
- And finally...you fight the battles you can fight, and you don't worry about the ones you can't.

For carseat...we got just about the most toxic one there was at the time (2 years ago, Chicco Keyfit 30). But it was also rated the safest (b/c it's easiest to install and use correctly...all carseats pass the same safety tests). My compromise was with my other neurosis - car safety...don't even get me started on that! Anyway, we drive veryinfrequently, never let the baby just hang out in the carseat, did not use it as a stroller, etc...And it aired out for 3 months before we used it.

I would look for newer recs on healthystuff.org. I believe Sunshine Kids Radian (for convertible seats) is made with Oeko-Tek certified materials but double check. I don't know about any infant seats.

Strollers - at the time I was looking, the greenest company was Uppababy - their fabrics were Oeko-Tek certified and organic cotton. We ended up getting a used Bugaboo for a while and then we got rid of it and got a new Bob....not ideal but again, we don't use it often and it airs out. Maybe progress has been made in this area in 2 years?

Pacifiers - my son never took to any so be careful about stocking up, but if you want to try some out, I recommend Zoe B Natursutten natural latex (even available at BRU!). I think Hevea makes similar ones. They are all latex, no plastic or silicone.

We have this Svan chair: http://www.amazon.com/Svan-High-Chair-Rich-Cherry/dp/B001CYBCIM

But I also liked the Stokke chair: http://www.amazon.com/Stokke-Tripp-Trapp%C2%AE-Highchair-Walnut/dp/B001D1505A/ref=pd_cp_ba_2

But too expensive for me with the table tray add-on....which I didn't think I needed but definitely appreciated having the first 6 months of solids (you can get much closer and at better angle to baby than if baby is straight up to the table).

If you can't return stuff you got and won't use, donate it. There are plenty of moms who aren't as fortunate and don't have the concerns you do. I have not felt one ounce of guilt for doing this for the few random things I don't like. Gifter gets credit for thinking of you and the baby, you're happy not to have the stuff around, and a mom in need gets a new item...good all around.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, you lost me with your use of disposable diapers. You are willing let your baby wear a plastic product filled with chemicals on her/his genitals 24/7 for several years, but you are worried about an organic highchair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

thanks for all the tips! I have to use disposable diapers b/c my kid will be in daycare (can you imagine if I asked them to clean cloth ones?!?! LOL). But I will try the ones you suggested although my MIL bought about 10 boxes of Huggies Pure and Natural, which have an organic cotton cover, but I am sure underneath they are normal diapers with chemicals.



Every daycare I have talked to will handle cloth diapers.

[Anonymous]

I have a theory that everyone has a space in their head for worrying and it will be filled with whatever it is around, starting with basic needs.

So, for some people this space is filled with things like finding a job or paying for groceries. For others it's filled with things like finding a boyfriend or getting along with work colleagues. And for those with nothing to really worry about, it's filled with things like finding organic bed sheeting.