Private School teacher gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work at a small private school. Parents pay a lot to go there, but teachers pay is very low because of student/teacher ratio. (Ratio anywhere from 4:1 to 7:1). Maybe I'm just rude, but I don't think there is anything wrong with a $100 gift card per person. First of all, it's only $10 a month... I am a teacher who provides cell phone access, texting access, etc. I am 100% accessible to these families at all times. These families are going on vacations overseas, cruises on a regular basis - some even own properties in other countries. Of the 15 students I work with throughout the day, this year I received gifts from only 5.... and these gifts were all valued under $2.00 - except two of them. Of the two that were left, they were valued at $15 and $30. Maybe I'm ridiculous - but when my kids go to school, they give $100. I'm not rich - but I am kind.

Perhaps the private school where you work discourages gifts priced over a certain amount. As a former teacher I would not feel right accepting $100 from one student not do I think any administrator I have known would condone that. I got plenty of gifts, but you know what I remember the most-thoughtful cards. I saved every card with a note or a letter and I still go back and read them.

Re:gifts as bribes. While I'm sure most parents have the best intentions, yes, there are people who use gifts to manipulate. Heck people will offer to make big donations to a school in the hopes a disciplinary action might dissapear. These "gifts" are always declined. It happens and we set a good example for kids by only accepting modest gifts. I certainly would not stay at anyone's beach house or what have you. It concerns me to see a teacher say "I am not rich, but I am kind" implying those who don't give large sums of money are somehow cruel. I don't want my children to think this way.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, pp. Refreshing to hear your on the mark thoughts!

[Anonymous]

a Beauvoir parent (stretched to the limit on tuition bills) here.

Would we stick out terribly in the minds of the teachers if we gave each of them $50 gift cards this xmas? Any Beauvoir parent out there who knows what others are giving? Is it much more?

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I am so disappointed by the teacher who posted asking for $100 per family. You must be very shallow, and you chose the wrong career. I work in education, and the restrictions on gift amounts are in part to prevent the family that can only write a card from feeling bad when other students are giving big gifts. It also makes most normal teachers feel uncomfortable. The fact that you are comfortable even expressing that you equate kindness with a big gift suggests that you are not imparting the values I would want my child to learn at private school. You may very well be underpaid, but this isn't the way to make up the difference between your pay and perceived worth.

[Anonymous]

I know this is an older thread but still pertinent. We are a private school family from NJ. I have always been involved in the PA, and it would be the class parents who would do a collection at both the holidays and end of year. The class parent would then purchase a GC from a bank or would get an AMEX, MC or VISA GC (much less tacky than cash.) In addition, our family would always give our own GCs. Many of the local private schools' administration recently started doing away with the cash-collection from the parents. This makes it easier for the class parents and alleviates the pressure from families. However, the teachers are not too happy. They have grown to count on that holiday and end of year "bonus." I don't think a generous holiday gift should be looked at as a bribe. If you are a private school family, I am sure you always donate to your annual fund, as well as support the school during the auction. Do you view that as a bribe? Your child's teachers are with your children at times more than they are with you. I do not see it inappropriate to give them a generous gift at the holidays. With that being said, if your child is not doing well in school or misbehaving, they are still not going to get a better grade. This year's holiday gifts to our teachers from our family: Main teacher- $200 GC; Academic subject teachers- $100 GC; Non-academic subject teachers (child has their class once or twice a week)- $50.

[Anonymous]

I know this is an older thread but still pertinent. We are a private school family from NJ. I have always been involved in the PA, and it would be the class parents who would do a collection at both the holidays and end of year. The class parent would then purchase a GC from a bank or would get an AMEX, MC or VISA GC (much less tacky than cash.) In addition, our family would always give our own GCs. Many of the local private schools' administration recently started doing away with the cash-collection from the parents. This makes it easier for the class parents and alleviates the pressure from families. However, the teachers are not too happy. They have grown to count on that holiday and end of year "bonus." I don't think a generous holiday gift should be looked at as a bribe. If you are a private school family, I am sure you always donate to your annual fund, as well as support the school during the auction. Do you view that as a bribe? Your child's teachers are with your children at times more than you are with them. I do not see it inappropriate to give them a generous gift at the holidays. With that being said, if your child is not doing well in school or misbehaving, they are still not going to get a better grade. This year's holiday gifts to our teachers from our family: Main teacher- $200 GC; Academic subject teachers- $100 GC; Non-academic subject teachers (child has their class once or twice a week)- $50.

[Anonymous]

hoping this is just for elementary school
no intention of giving all the middle school teachers gifts (think there are 7 teachers...)

[Anonymous]

I am heartbroken that teachers make so little and while I’m not uber wealthy, I do set aside $ in the budget each year for Xmas gifts for the teachers. We give mostly gift cards and for those that went above and beyond, I add a nice bottle of champagne. Wish our school had a pool to contribute funds to so the teachers could get bonus checks. I’m really surprised how many cheap parents there are these schools, take multiple vacations per year and can’t even give a $25 Starbucks card to a teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work at a small private school. Parents pay a lot to go there, but teachers pay is very low because of student/teacher ratio. (Ratio anywhere from 4:1 to 7:1). Maybe I'm just rude, but I don't think there is anything wrong with a $100 gift card per person. First of all, it's only $10 a month... I am a teacher who provides cell phone access, texting access, etc. I am 100% accessible to these families at all times. These families are going on vacations overseas, cruises on a regular basis - some even own properties in other countries. Of the 15 students I work with throughout the day, this year I received gifts from only 5.... and these gifts were all valued under $2.00 - except two of them. Of the two that were left, they were valued at $15 and $30. Maybe I'm ridiculous - but when my kids go to school, they give $100. I'm not rich - but I am kind.[/

Dear teacher, as a parent I’m so sad to read this and so sorry that your school has such cheap parents. Please know that not all parents are like this and I would never give a teacher a crappy gift for $2.

[Anonymous]

Good Point about MS teachers - by my count 9
I appreciate them and plan to write each a note; don't know them well enough to know if wine is appropriate, so perhaps a purchased food item...

[Anonymous]

30-50 bucks is good. Visa, Target, Whole Foods, Starbucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:private school teacher here - please don't fret over gift giving. Instead, help out more at the school, if possible. Donate that money specifically to an area that you particularly value at the school like, supplies for the teachers room (most have a wish list), sound system for auditorium, new athletic gear, books for library, new plantings for grounds, the list is endless. You can donate in the name of the teacher that you were going to give a gift to. Get together with friends and have it make more of an impact. Donate volunteers hours toward events. Just a thought.

This sounds like the principal talking and I can even identify the school.

Yes, give teachers gifts and gift cards. For gods sake give them a gift.

[Anonymous]

I give $50 Amex cards + Godiva to the main teachers and $25 Amex cards + Godiva to the specials teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At our school there are no group gifts. We do a mix of the following: things made by my kids, flowering plants, homemade baked goods, storebought treats, small desk-type presents (fancy pencils, e.g.). We may end up with gifts to a dozen or more people just at school, so I try to keep each one under $15.

Wow. This is very chintzy for someone with the disposable uncle for private school tuition. Pencils? Your homemade food goes right in the trash. I bet the teachers talk about how cheap you are.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 kids in different elementary grades at the same school. With only one exception, they have all different teachers for specials (and obviously different main teachers). Add in specialists, etc, and I end up with more than 20 people. I want to recognize each of these teachers for the meaningful impact they have on my kids, but to give each of them $50+ would put me in a difficult financial situation (not everyone in private is a gazillionaire!). I could give very generous gifts to my kids' main teachers and ignore the specials teachers, but that's not how I roll. So everyone gets a gift card and a nice, handwritten note from my kid. I would hope no one talks about how cheap I am, because I really try to make an effort to recognize everyone.