Would you buy your adult kid another car

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We can afford it, so all our kids have always had cars we have purchased outright (used, not new) and we have our family insurance agency process the policies. We also pay their premiums

"Take out a car loan like everyone else" is a very bad financial decision. Your 25K car ends up costing 50K. GREAT ADVICE

We also just paid the hospital delivery and NICU bill for our son's gf who had our grandchild without their being married. Big whoop, it's our money.

Somehow there seems to be a message that everyone needs to pretend to have come from a working class background and made all their money from "hard work" when it's usually anything but.

If you're hoarding money like some dragon while your kids can't make rent or bills, what was the point of your making money? Truly? What was your goal?

You are wealthy and op is not. The goal is to not be broke in old age because they financed grown, working adults forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they living within their means? Or can they not afford it because they eat out all the time, spend a ton of money on the best haircuts and clothes, drink a ton of alcohol. Do they know how to be frugal?

That would change my answer.

+1

Those darned youngsters and their avocado toast ways! If they are eating avocados don't you dare help them with a car!

I’m the pp and I’m laughing at the avocado toast, but you and I know it’s not just a brunch here and there. It’s a $7 coffee every day, it’s door dash 5 times a week, it’s having an expensive phone + max plan and 5 different streaming subscriptions…it’s all the things that add up. When I was first out of college I ate rice a roni and I didn’t go out like my peers did. I had plenty of fun, but I was frugal until I could afford not to be. People need to be okay with not getting what they want when they want it in order to live within their means.

I am curious about OP’s kid and how OP feels about their budgeting.

Omg, no it’s not. You are literally avocado toasting.

It’s the $4k rent that goes up 10% a year. Auto insurance is out of control. If they have kids, daycare is basically legal extortion.

Rice a roni? How old are you exactly?

People go out because of financial nihilism — they have tried living frugal but realizing it’s a losing proposition, costs go up faster than you can save.

Please. None of them have actually tried living frugally. They’ve been raised to expect Starbucks runs, restaurant food all the time, Amazon anything they want and need overnight, and multiple nice vacations a year as a right and not a privilege. $7 Starbucks/day is $2500 a year. And yes you think “oh that’s not that much” but that’s just one beverage. Think of everything else they spend money on that’s “just” x per month or y per year—can you not see that you can save real money that can then be invested?

At work, many colleagues come in every day with a venti Starbucks and get takeout for lunch. They can choose how they spend their money, but don’t pretend that wouldn’t add up to real money over the long run. I’m not saying go without absolutely everything, but normalize making your own coffee most days and packing your own lunch. Meeting people for a walk instead of brunch…it’s really okay to not have everything you want when you want it. Immediate gratification isn’t the secret to happiness.

Speak for your own kids. Mine are teens nd only been on a few simple vacations, maybe been to Starbucks 4-5 times and only eat out or carry out with us except a rare occasion. Look at your parenting and examples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We can afford it, so all our kids have always had cars we have purchased outright (used, not new) and we have our family insurance agency process the policies. We also pay their premiums

"Take out a car loan like everyone else" is a very bad financial decision. Your 25K car ends up costing 50K. GREAT ADVICE

We also just paid the hospital delivery and NICU bill for our son's gf who had our grandchild without their being married. Big whoop, it's our money.

Somehow there seems to be a message that everyone needs to pretend to have come from a working class background and made all their money from "hard work" when it's usually anything but.

If you're hoarding money like some dragon while your kids can't make rent or bills, what was the point of your making money? Truly? What was your goal?

You raised irresponsible kids.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably think about it, but we didn't buy a car until our late 30s. We got a used car from my parents for college graduation, and my in-laws gave us their old car as a present when we had a kid.

We come from generous parents, and I'd try to pass that along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We can afford it, so all our kids have always had cars we have purchased outright (used, not new) and we have our family insurance agency process the policies. We also pay their premiums

"Take out a car loan like everyone else" is a very bad financial decision. Your 25K car ends up costing 50K. GREAT ADVICE

We also just paid the hospital delivery and NICU bill for our son's gf who had our grandchild without their being married. Big whoop, it's our money.

Somehow there seems to be a message that everyone needs to pretend to have come from a working class background and made all their money from "hard work" when it's usually anything but.

If you're hoarding money like some dragon while your kids can't make rent or bills, what was the point of your making money? Truly? What was your goal?

Not all of us are trying to raise trashy freeloaders.

[Anonymous]

We just bought our daughter a new car for her 18th birthday, but we wouldn't buy her another one later on.

[Anonymous]

I like the suggestion of giving them your car, assuming yours is reliable, and buying yourself a new/slightly used car.

That said, it might also depend on how much you have in assets, since DCUM ideas of wealth and stability seem to vary wildly, and whether your other children will feel jealous that you aren’t giving them a similar amount in assets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"you don't want them to buy an older car within their financial range"

This is wild.

+1. It's not like the old days where a car would break down and you would have to walk somewhere to a pay phone or accept rides from strangers.
Everyone carries a cell phone, you call a friend, get an Uber, or call your emergency road service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"you don't want them to buy an older car within their financial range"

This is wild.

+1. It's not like the old days where a car would break down and you would have to walk somewhere to a pay phone or accept rides from strangers.
Everyone carries a cell phone, you call a friend, get an Uber, or call your emergency road service.

NP-My first car was a very old Honda I got for dirt cheap from a coworker. I don't think my parents ever cared at all about me driving a really old car. And personally I was just glad I finally had a car and didn't need to walk everywhere. But I got the car inspected before I bought it and aside from being a manual, crummy and old with little comfort, it drove just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You paid half the rent for two years. And grad school. And college?

Your kid is spoiled and needs to learn how to budget.

Needs to learn some resilience. The ability to figure out how to get places without a car. Or how to deal with a break-down. Like PP said, how to budget and live within means.

Even if they don't need to do those things right now, the ability to do those things is very important. It builds confidence and flows to other parts of life. Needing to prioritize teaches a person who they are.

Unless you plan to parent them for the rest of your life. And even if you do... what happens when you die? Will they know how to work a problem til it's solved? That's a learned skill, and by pre-solving their problems, you're robbing them of that very essential set of lessons.

[Anonymous]

Of course they ask you for $, you give it. You paid undergrad and grad school and rent and more. They will continue to look to you bc you allow them to. If you are good with that, fine, but that makes them dependent not independent as you called them in your first post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably think about it, but we didn't buy a car until our late 30s. We got a used car from my parents for college graduation, and my in-laws gave us their old car as a present when we had a kid.

We come from generous parents, and I'd try to pass that along.

Many take train and bus until save enough to buy car and teaches life choices about where to live and how to live. OP teaching live beyond means and parents will cover difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably think about it, but we didn't buy a car until our late 30s. We got a used car from my parents for college graduation, and my in-laws gave us their old car as a present when we had a kid.

We come from generous parents, and I'd try to pass that along.

Many take train and bus until save enough to buy car and teaches life choices about where to live and how to live. OP teaching live beyond means and parents will cover difference.

Yeah, I took the bus for years, then literally walked everywhere for months before I could buy my own car when I got a job in a rural area with cheap rent. I walked 20 mins to buy groceries. All these "walking to school uphill in the snow" type stories sound like stupid legends to kids, but they are real and character-building. I worry sometimes that a lot of young people (and I include my own kids who have it SO much easier than I did) do not have these resilience stories. I know sheltered adults who don't have them, keep getting parental help into their 40s, and the difference in how they treat people and life and responsibilities is obvious.

[Anonymous]

When we were just married (2013) in our 20s we bought a house and were stretched to the limit financially. We had one car which husband drove to work and I took the bus since my workplace was closer. To say this bothered my mother would be an understatement (she was already deeply disappointed with the small, fixer-upper house we bought).After months of haranguing us about when we’d get a second car my parents ended up giving me their old one.
A brand new car hits differently though, it makes it seem like you think your kid is too good to drive an old car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we were just married (2013) in our 20s we bought a house and were stretched to the limit financially. We had one car which husband drove to work and I took the bus since my workplace was closer. To say this bothered my mother would be an understatement (she was already deeply disappointed with the small, fixer-upper house we bought).After months of haranguing us about when we’d get a second car my parents ended up giving me their old one.
A brand new car hits differently though, it makes it seem like you think your kid is too good to drive an old car.

OP was pretty upfront about this.