For full-pay families: how much do you ask your DC to pay for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're financially equipped to pay for all expenses but want our kid to have a little skin in the game for college, like allocating some portion of her summer earnings to contribute to college expenses. Anyone have an approach they like? Set a lump sum amount? DC pays for books or monthly allowance at college out of summer earnings? She is also planning to get an on-campus job at school. TIA

I don't get this 'skin in the game' thing. The kids have plenty of skin in the game in college - their entire futures.

+1.
They already have plenty of skin in the game.
Also, they didn’t ask to be born and they didn’t ask for the world we live in where college is so important. So we pay for all direct costs. DC earns extra spending money during the summers.
My dad believed in the “skin in the game” thing and had me take out loans. It did not help my motivation and direction much, it just made me more terrified of not being able to pay off the loans, or taking out more loans for grad school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We pay tuition, room and board, and books. They pay for pizza and beer money

I think this is pretty typical.

[Anonymous]

$1500/year + their fun money (about $200/month.) This was from working every summer since they were 15y. The $1500 is more about them having skin in the game vs taking the pressure off of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will fully pay for all three of my kids and ask them to contribute nothing. This is what my parents did for me - and they weren't rich (I am). I clearly remember being filled with gratitude all through college as I watched friends do work study programs and take loans - I did not take it for granted at all that I did not have to contend with those things thanks to my parents' commitment to pay for everything for me.

I respect people who want their kids to have skin in the game and who require them to contribute to the cost of their education. For me personally, I feel it's my responsibility to cover all costs for my kids because a) I can easily afford it, b) they're good kids and c) I want them to have a head start in life.

+1

Same!

We pay for everything. Kids have summer jobs and they put those into Roth IRAs.

But you do NOT have to have "skin in the game" to be grateful and successful. Our kids see their friends who have to struggle to pay for things and upon graduation, spend the next 10+ years paying the loans, while my kid has no debt. They greatly appreciate the fact that college was paid for and they were able to start saving for retirement early.

+2 except I don’t respect rich people who make conscientious kids contribute to the cost of their education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will fully pay for all three of my kids and ask them to contribute nothing. This is what my parents did for me - and they weren't rich (I am). I clearly remember being filled with gratitude all through college as I watched friends do work study programs and take loans - I did not take it for granted at all that I did not have to contend with those things thanks to my parents' commitment to pay for everything for me.

I respect people who want their kids to have skin in the game and who require them to contribute to the cost of their education. For me personally, I feel it's my responsibility to cover all costs for my kids because a) I can easily afford it, b) they're good kids and c) I want them to have a head start in life.

+1

Same!

We pay for everything. Kids have summer jobs and they put those into Roth IRAs.

But you do NOT have to have "skin in the game" to be grateful and successful. Our kids see their friends who have to struggle to pay for things and upon graduation, spend the next 10+ years paying the loans, while my kid has no debt. They greatly appreciate the fact that college was paid for and they were able to start saving for retirement early.

+2 same my parents paid for college as long as it was in-state (or would give me the equivalent towards private and I’d have to pay the rest). It’s what they could afford for all 3 of us with no loans for us. We always had summer jobs. My dad explained loans and finances and why it would be wise not to have any loans w/ interest rates, etc. I am forever grateful for that and paying for my wedding too.

I pay in full for both kids’ private colleges. They also have Roth IRAs where most of the $ they earn in summer jobs goes. They also use some of it for their own spending. They have had summer jobs since 10th grade and were mowing lawns for $ since middle school. This summer the oldest has a funded research gig abroad. He won’t be getting a salary, but all of his costs are covered by it. So not “working” this summer.

[Anonymous]

Not there yet. We plan to pay tuition, room and board, car expenses. I’d probably give a small social allowance if they don’t have a job- small enough that they would be able to go out with friends on occasion, but not large enough for daily takeout/Starbucks.

[Anonymous]

OP circling back to say thank you to all who responded. It was helpful to hear all the perspectives. I think we've settled on paying for room, board, books, airfare, etc. and having our D fund her own spending money at college through all the money she makes through summer jobs and possibly a small on-campus job (which she wants to get anyway because she likes having a job). She's headed to a rural LAC so should have lower costs than if she were in a city. I like the idea of her being the boss of a pot of money that she earned.

[Anonymous]

We have our kid contribute 0. They have 3 scholarships, so keeping grades to keep the scholarships is the contribution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ours got a full merit tuition ride at a private T20. DC applied to lots of external merit aid scholarships and worked on campus (for min wage) to lessen the burden for room and board. It has been an uphill battle, but this coming academic year for the first time DC will be able to fully fund COA on their own, thanks to a relatively well paying summer job. After that unlikely they will be able to continue fully fund COA; academic load gets harder and need to maintain GPA for the merit aid.

Do you mind sharing what private and what were the stats?

[Anonymous]

Summer job for spending money. Just pay for it and not play games. Its silly. School is their job during the school year.

[Anonymous]

I asked my (very fair) kid to contribute what she thought was fair. I think she choose $1,000, which I was happy with. She had won a merit scholarship that covered half of her tuition. She also opened a modest Roth, which I strongly encouraged.

[Anonymous]

None. Student works during the year in his academic field on campus. Banks all his money. He is already super conservative with his spending.

[Anonymous]

We're full-pay albeit with a not-very-impressive HHI (avg $100-150K for the years FAFSA would care).

We're in 'thirds' for our two. We gifted them 1/3, provide an interest-free loan for 1/3 for the two years both are in college (and gifted that portion as well when they weren't), and they pay or responsible for 1/3 (where their merit and/or scholarships can cover their portions).

So probably more than most of you. Fortunately, both chose affordable state flagships, received $$$ merit money, and worked all through HS. "They" already have their 1/3 portions and are well on the way to covering (or not even needing) the "loans."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're financially equipped to pay for all expenses but want our kid to have a little skin in the game for college, like allocating some portion of her summer earnings to contribute to college expenses. Anyone have an approach they like? Set a lump sum amount? DC pays for books or monthly allowance at college out of summer earnings? She is also planning to get an on-campus job at school. TIA

None for tuition room board and reasonable needs such as basic clothing, shoes, supplies, travel home.
We consider it our job to cover all the needs. They cover the wants.
For extras beyond basics they could choose to save their summer job money for spending $, or work during the semester. Working during the semester should be a resume building job (paid research, paid undergrad TA) otherwise it is not worth the time it takes when they could be doing other resume building activities (DA office volunteer, unpaid research with faculty though most is paid at kid's ivy, nonprofit volunteer, club leadership). Building the resume and making connections with faculty and upperclassmen leads to the best summer jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're full-pay albeit with a not-very-impressive HHI (avg $100-150K for the years FAFSA would care).

We're in 'thirds' for our two. We gifted them 1/3, provide an interest-free loan for 1/3 for the two years both are in college (and gifted that portion as well when they weren't), and they pay or responsible for 1/3 (where their merit and/or scholarships can cover their portions).

So probably more than most of you. Fortunately, both chose affordable state flagships, received $$$ merit money, and worked all through HS. "They" already have their 1/3 portions and are well on the way to covering (or not even needing) the "loans."

You are not full pay unless you have huge assets.
Your students would have gone for completely free at the majority of T20 privates. Zero cost of attendance with normal assets.
Even UVA in state would give significant aid with cost of attendance likely under 20k from parents then add the 4500 student loan they make you get.