Moving to DC for 4th Grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm interviewing for two jobs in DC, located in Dupont Circle and Navy Yard, after living elsewhere for 8 years. My DC will be in 4th grade next year, and while getting either job is not assured, I want to be thinking ahead with the lottery coming up. I own a house on the eastern edge of Kingman Park, zoned for Miner. And I'm a single parent, so there's no one else to help get DC to and from school each day.

I know DCPS does not offer gifted programming, which DC currently receives, so I'm looking for input on schools to consider that there is a realistic shot of getting a lottery seat with at least some academic peers. I'm not interested in Montessori or immersion. I know Brent is in a swing space that isn't ideal from the Hill, and that they also lose a ton of kids at the upper grades. Maury is basically impossible to get into in any grade. Two Rivers fell off a cliff in the years I've been gone. Are there other schools I should be considering beyond the list below, with an eye towards reducing commute yet still having a sizable enough cohort of high achieving kids?

Ludlow-Taylor
Payne
John Francis (less than ideal if I get the Navy Yard job, but really convenient for Dupont)
Watkins
JO Wilson
Chisholm
Thomson (also less than ideal for a Navy Yard job, okay for Dupont)

The only charter that seemed to fit my criteria was Friendship Chamberlain. The other higher achieving charters are mostly language immersion and/or an inconvenient commute. Am I missing any?

And before anyone asks, no, moving to another part of the Hill, let alone Ward 3, isn't really an option. I'm loathe to give up the sub-3% interest rate, and while I would make a decent amount of money selling, it's not enough to offset how much prices have gone up and the much higher interest rates.

The lack of gifted programming does kind of stink. Do whatever works for 4th and then try for Latin or BASIS or DCI.

Our path was solved by going to BASIS (which has flaws, but at least they are challenged and learn a lot and have lots of gifted peers) and doing CTY in the summers (also popular with BASIS students).

Basis isn’t great but better than other offerings. Take a look at some high school threads to see why.

BASIS seems to only work for a very specific kind of kid. The school has a huge amount of turnover among students, and goes very deep into its waitlist. Latin is basically the opposite. They take very few kids and almost no one turns then down or leaves.

Because of lack of rigor and social promotion.

It's been wild to see just how rigorous BASIS is. Like 99th percentile aptitude students who would easily by straight A students at a DCPS school getting Fs on tests. It's a GAUNTLET and it's not for everyone. (Though my kid loves it!)

This is why people hate the BASIS boosters on here. Because you can't just say "BASIS has been great for my kid -- they've really responded well to the test-focused approach and high intensity. But kids learn different ways and maybe other kids do better with Latin's more holistic approach, or the IB programming." Instead Latin is described as lacking rigor and engaging in social promotion (totally unfounded accusations, by the way) and anyone who doesn't enjoy BASIS's approach simply can't handle it, likely because they aren't smart and hard working enough.

The lack of nuance and insistence on putting down other schools (or even just kids or families who want something other than the BASIS approach) is exhausting. It's not just that you bring BASIS up incessantly, it's that you bring it up and then insist on "winning" an argument.

It is not a good advertisement for the school, and it's especially not a good advertisement for you, as a person. BASIS actually sounds like it could be a good fit for my kid, but I find this attitude so off-putting that I sometimes wonder if it would be a good fit for our family, because I do not want to be around people like this for the next 7 years.

I'm not sure who you are responding to. But it's hard to imagine anyone getting to having middle school aged children and still being judgemental about schools. We chose BASIS but have very good friends at all kinds of other schools (Latin, DCI, Francis, Oyster adams, SH, Deal, privates, ITS). I can't imagine judging each other -- we are all doing the best we can. In my real world, there is zero judgement and lots of friendship. And living in DC for years means making friends in lots of circumstances.

DCUM is different, of course.

+1
To each their own - and it sounds like the original poster has left the chat anyway, so we are just bickering among ourselves. Believe it or not, it is possible to believe the choices you made were perfect/right for your kid/family, while at the same time there are other families happy with choices that are different than yours. If it makes people feel better to make assumptions about schools like Stuart Hobson or Eliot Hine that is fine, but for every anecdote of "I know this family who left the school for xyz reason", I could respond with dozens of anecdotes of kids who have left many of the 'sought after' schools for what felt like good reasons to their family.
And no, we don't homeschool our kids to supplement. They go to school, do the work in class, do the homework, and when we are at home as a family, they read books and magazines, experience different places/museums/talk about what's going on in the world. I don't consider that homeschooling, just parenting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would consider Arlington and solid elementary/middle/ and high school path. It is easy commute to where you will be.

You have to think about middle school and chances are slim to none for the charters.

I'm not moving to Arlington, full stop. We're returning to DC if either of these jobs come through and sticking with the Kingman Park house. I'm aware of the challenges with many DC middle and high schools.

Wow. I’m a Hill mom, in bounds for Stuart Hobson and my kid goes to Basis and I would suggest that you move to the burbs. Which is what you don’t want to do so I got nothing else for you. I walk past Stuart Hobson all the time walking my dog and I’m glad my kids don’t go there, though there are some great kids there and the principal seems really really engaged and hardworking.

Your reaction to someone saying moving isn’t feasible for the family financially is “wow,” because you view the outside of a school their kids might possibly attend and are glad yours doesn’t go there? You sound like real gem.

Why do these posters always have kids at BASIS?

Go back and re-read the post. They said their kid goes to BASIS "and I would suggest that you move to the burbs".

I have no horse in BASIS or S-H race. Your response of lashing out at BASIS says very little about anyone else and a great deal about you and how you feel about S-H. If you get that triggered by someone else saying they think your school is subpar then maybe time to look in the mirror?

You lashed out at another school and parent. Did it really make you feel better? Did it make S-H a better school?

What? My did doesn't go to SH. She literally started her post "Wow" in response to a post about someone not being able to move for financial reasons and said she felt like moving to the burbs was the only option because she didn't like the look of the kids that went to the school from the outside. Seriously, that's what she said. If you don't think that says something about her -- cause I can tell you what that's code for if you can't figure it out -- then I don't know what to tell you. And, yes, the number of parents of BASIS kids on this board who are super judgmental about non-BASIS DC options is insane. It's like they think winning the lottery represents a moral judgment that they are a superior being. It's weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm interviewing for two jobs in DC, located in Dupont Circle and Navy Yard, after living elsewhere for 8 years. My DC will be in 4th grade next year, and while getting either job is not assured, I want to be thinking ahead with the lottery coming up. I own a house on the eastern edge of Kingman Park, zoned for Miner. And I'm a single parent, so there's no one else to help get DC to and from school each day.

I know DCPS does not offer gifted programming, which DC currently receives, so I'm looking for input on schools to consider that there is a realistic shot of getting a lottery seat with at least some academic peers. I'm not interested in Montessori or immersion. I know Brent is in a swing space that isn't ideal from the Hill, and that they also lose a ton of kids at the upper grades. Maury is basically impossible to get into in any grade. Two Rivers fell off a cliff in the years I've been gone. Are there other schools I should be considering beyond the list below, with an eye towards reducing commute yet still having a sizable enough cohort of high achieving kids?

Ludlow-Taylor
Payne
John Francis (less than ideal if I get the Navy Yard job, but really convenient for Dupont)
Watkins
JO Wilson
Chisholm
Thomson (also less than ideal for a Navy Yard job, okay for Dupont)

The only charter that seemed to fit my criteria was Friendship Chamberlain. The other higher achieving charters are mostly language immersion and/or an inconvenient commute. Am I missing any?

And before anyone asks, no, moving to another part of the Hill, let alone Ward 3, isn't really an option. I'm loathe to give up the sub-3% interest rate, and while I would make a decent amount of money selling, it's not enough to offset how much prices have gone up and the much higher interest rates.

The lack of gifted programming does kind of stink. Do whatever works for 4th and then try for Latin or BASIS or DCI.

Our path was solved by going to BASIS (which has flaws, but at least they are challenged and learn a lot and have lots of gifted peers) and doing CTY in the summers (also popular with BASIS students).

Basis isn’t great but better than other offerings. Take a look at some high school threads to see why.

BASIS seems to only work for a very specific kind of kid. The school has a huge amount of turnover among students, and goes very deep into its waitlist. Latin is basically the opposite. They take very few kids and almost no one turns then down or leaves.

Because of lack of rigor and social promotion.

It's been wild to see just how rigorous BASIS is. Like 99th percentile aptitude students who would easily by straight A students at a DCPS school getting Fs on tests. It's a GAUNTLET and it's not for everyone. (Though my kid loves it!)

This is why people hate the BASIS boosters on here. Because you can't just say "BASIS has been great for my kid -- they've really responded well to the test-focused approach and high intensity. But kids learn different ways and maybe other kids do better with Latin's more holistic approach, or the IB programming." Instead Latin is described as lacking rigor and engaging in social promotion (totally unfounded accusations, by the way) and anyone who doesn't enjoy BASIS's approach simply can't handle it, likely because they aren't smart and hard working enough.

The lack of nuance and insistence on putting down other schools (or even just kids or families who want something other than the BASIS approach) is exhausting. It's not just that you bring BASIS up incessantly, it's that you bring it up and then insist on "winning" an argument.

It is not a good advertisement for the school, and it's especially not a good advertisement for you, as a person. BASIS actually sounds like it could be a good fit for my kid, but I find this attitude so off-putting that I sometimes wonder if it would be a good fit for our family, because I do not want to be around people like this for the next 7 years.

I'm not sure who you are responding to. But it's hard to imagine anyone getting to having middle school aged children and still being judgemental about schools. We chose BASIS but have very good friends at all kinds of other schools (Latin, DCI, Francis, Oyster adams, SH, Deal, privates, ITS). I can't imagine judging each other -- we are all doing the best we can. In my real world, there is zero judgement and lots of friendship. And living in DC for years means making friends in lots of circumstances.

DCUM is different, of course.

+1
To each their own - and it sounds like the original poster has left the chat anyway, so we are just bickering among ourselves. Believe it or not, it is possible to believe the choices you made were perfect/right for your kid/family, while at the same time there are other families happy with choices that are different than yours. If it makes people feel better to make assumptions about schools like Stuart Hobson or Eliot Hine that is fine, but for every anecdote of "I know this family who left the school for xyz reason", I could respond with dozens of anecdotes of kids who have left many of the 'sought after' schools for what felt like good reasons to their family.
And no, we don't homeschool our kids to supplement. They go to school, do the work in class, do the homework, and when we are at home as a family, they read books and magazines, experience different places/museums/talk about what's going on in the world. I don't consider that homeschooling, just parenting?

OP, still here. Mostly watching all the bickering.

[Anonymous]

There are people who are happy at the dcps middle schools. People move away, but some of that has to do with high school which starts to come up fast. For example, you realize in 6th or 7th grade that your child does not have grades for Walls/Banneker, and you start making other plans which for some might be moving to another public school district and doing so sooner rather than later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would consider Arlington and solid elementary/middle/ and high school path. It is easy commute to where you will be.

You have to think about middle school and chances are slim to none for the charters.

I'm not moving to Arlington, full stop. We're returning to DC if either of these jobs come through and sticking with the Kingman Park house. I'm aware of the challenges with many DC middle and high schools.

Wow. I’m a Hill mom, in bounds for Stuart Hobson and my kid goes to Basis and I would suggest that you move to the burbs. Which is what you don’t want to do so I got nothing else for you. I walk past Stuart Hobson all the time walking my dog and I’m glad my kids don’t go there, though there are some great kids there and the principal seems really really engaged and hardworking.

Your reaction to someone saying moving isn’t feasible for the family financially is “wow,” because you view the outside of a school their kids might possibly attend and are glad yours doesn’t go there? You sound like real gem.

Why do these posters always have kids at BASIS?

Go back and re-read the post. They said their kid goes to BASIS "and I would suggest that you move to the burbs".

I have no horse in BASIS or S-H race. Your response of lashing out at BASIS says very little about anyone else and a great deal about you and how you feel about S-H. If you get that triggered by someone else saying they think your school is subpar then maybe time to look in the mirror?

You lashed out at another school and parent. Did it really make you feel better? Did it make S-H a better school?

What? My did doesn't go to SH. She literally started her post "Wow" in response to a post about someone not being able to move for financial reasons and said she felt like moving to the burbs was the only option because she didn't like the look of the kids that went to the school from the outside. Seriously, that's what she said. If you don't think that says something about her -- cause I can tell you what that's code for if you can't figure it out -- then I don't know what to tell you. And, yes, the number of parents of BASIS kids on this board who are super judgmental about non-BASIS DC options is insane. It's like they think winning the lottery represents a moral judgment that they are a superior being. It's weird.

+1. The previous poster wasn’t even anti BASIS, they talked about locking in a backup plan and the trying for charters from there. This family is moving for 4th. BASIS, which isn’t geographically dependent, doesn’t play in at all except as a future option no one took of the table. Reading this thread to imply that criticizing the BASIS parent — who, btw, brought that up apropos of nothing, because again, 4th grader without BASIS as an option even — was problematic is a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm interviewing for two jobs in DC, located in Dupont Circle and Navy Yard, after living elsewhere for 8 years. My DC will be in 4th grade next year, and while getting either job is not assured, I want to be thinking ahead with the lottery coming up. I own a house on the eastern edge of Kingman Park, zoned for Miner. And I'm a single parent, so there's no one else to help get DC to and from school each day.

I know DCPS does not offer gifted programming, which DC currently receives, so I'm looking for input on schools to consider that there is a realistic shot of getting a lottery seat with at least some academic peers. I'm not interested in Montessori or immersion. I know Brent is in a swing space that isn't ideal from the Hill, and that they also lose a ton of kids at the upper grades. Maury is basically impossible to get into in any grade. Two Rivers fell off a cliff in the years I've been gone. Are there other schools I should be considering beyond the list below, with an eye towards reducing commute yet still having a sizable enough cohort of high achieving kids?

Ludlow-Taylor
Payne
John Francis (less than ideal if I get the Navy Yard job, but really convenient for Dupont)
Watkins
JO Wilson
Chisholm
Thomson (also less than ideal for a Navy Yard job, okay for Dupont)

The only charter that seemed to fit my criteria was Friendship Chamberlain. The other higher achieving charters are mostly language immersion and/or an inconvenient commute. Am I missing any?

And before anyone asks, no, moving to another part of the Hill, let alone Ward 3, isn't really an option. I'm loathe to give up the sub-3% interest rate, and while I would make a decent amount of money selling, it's not enough to offset how much prices have gone up and the much higher interest rates.

The lack of gifted programming does kind of stink. Do whatever works for 4th and then try for Latin or BASIS or DCI.

Our path was solved by going to BASIS (which has flaws, but at least they are challenged and learn a lot and have lots of gifted peers) and doing CTY in the summers (also popular with BASIS students).

Basis isn’t great but better than other offerings. Take a look at some high school threads to see why.

BASIS seems to only work for a very specific kind of kid. The school has a huge amount of turnover among students, and goes very deep into its waitlist. Latin is basically the opposite. They take very few kids and almost no one turns then down or leaves.

Because of lack of rigor and social promotion.

It's been wild to see just how rigorous BASIS is. Like 99th percentile aptitude students who would easily by straight A students at a DCPS school getting Fs on tests. It's a GAUNTLET and it's not for everyone. (Though my kid loves it!)

This is why people hate the BASIS boosters on here. Because you can't just say "BASIS has been great for my kid -- they've really responded well to the test-focused approach and high intensity. But kids learn different ways and maybe other kids do better with Latin's more holistic approach, or the IB programming." Instead Latin is described as lacking rigor and engaging in social promotion (totally unfounded accusations, by the way) and anyone who doesn't enjoy BASIS's approach simply can't handle it, likely because they aren't smart and hard working enough.

The lack of nuance and insistence on putting down other schools (or even just kids or families who want something other than the BASIS approach) is exhausting. It's not just that you bring BASIS up incessantly, it's that you bring it up and then insist on "winning" an argument.

It is not a good advertisement for the school, and it's especially not a good advertisement for you, as a person. BASIS actually sounds like it could be a good fit for my kid, but I find this attitude so off-putting that I sometimes wonder if it would be a good fit for our family, because I do not want to be around people like this for the next 7 years.

I'm not sure who you are responding to. But it's hard to imagine anyone getting to having middle school aged children and still being judgemental about schools. We chose BASIS but have very good friends at all kinds of other schools (Latin, DCI, Francis, Oyster adams, SH, Deal, privates, ITS). I can't imagine judging each other -- we are all doing the best we can. In my real world, there is zero judgement and lots of friendship. And living in DC for years means making friends in lots of circumstances.

DCUM is different, of course.

+1
To each their own - and it sounds like the original poster has left the chat anyway, so we are just bickering among ourselves. Believe it or not, it is possible to believe the choices you made were perfect/right for your kid/family, while at the same time there are other families happy with choices that are different than yours. If it makes people feel better to make assumptions about schools like Stuart Hobson or Eliot Hine that is fine, but for every anecdote of "I know this family who left the school for xyz reason", I could respond with dozens of anecdotes of kids who have left many of the 'sought after' schools for what felt like good reasons to their family.
And no, we don't homeschool our kids to supplement. They go to school, do the work in class, do the homework, and when we are at home as a family, they read books and magazines, experience different places/museums/talk about what's going on in the world. I don't consider that homeschooling, just parenting?

It is really relative but maybe you dint have a high performing kid who needs to be challenged. Or maybe you are OK with your child not learning to their full potential. What objective data do you have that you don’t need to supplement? Have you looked at what kids are learning at other schools?

I will tell you that you have to supplement to make up for the deficits at SH. I say this coming from a tutori that helps kids at all the schools we talk about here EOTP. The kids at SH are lacking lots of content knowledge compared to other kids.

[Anonymous]

Ah, the tutor who hate SH has made their obligatory appearance!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah, the tutor who hate SH has made their obligatory appearance!

I’m the PP and am not the tutor.

Do you seriously believe that someone is out to get SH?? Seriously. Sounds like you are in denial. Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, the tutor who hate SH has made their obligatory appearance!

I’m the PP and am not the tutor.

Do you seriously believe that someone is out to get SH?? Seriously. Sounds like you are in denial. Good luck with that.

That tutor is always coming on DCUM to trash middle schools. Not just (or even mostly) SH. But also, definitely a skewed perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, the tutor who hate SH has made their obligatory appearance!

I’m the PP and am not the tutor.

Do you seriously believe that someone is out to get SH?? Seriously. Sounds like you are in denial. Good luck with that.

That tutor is always coming on DCUM to trash middle schools. Not just (or even mostly) SH. But also, definitely a skewed perspective.

He is not trashing any school. What middle schools (pleural) is he trashing? It’s his objective opinion on what school fits best what students based on his interaction of the kids he sees and where they are academically.

It is not a skewed perspective at all. It just doesn’t fit your agenda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would consider Arlington and solid elementary/middle/ and high school path. It is easy commute to where you will be.

You have to think about middle school and chances are slim to none for the charters.

I'm not moving to Arlington, full stop. We're returning to DC if either of these jobs come through and sticking with the Kingman Park house. I'm aware of the challenges with many DC middle and high schools.

Wow. I’m a Hill mom, in bounds for Stuart Hobson and my kid goes to Basis and I would suggest that you move to the burbs. Which is what you don’t want to do so I got nothing else for you. I walk past Stuart Hobson all the time walking my dog and I’m glad my kids don’t go there, though there are some great kids there and the principal seems really really engaged and hardworking.

Your reaction to someone saying moving isn’t feasible for the family financially is “wow,” because you view the outside of a school their kids might possibly attend and are glad yours doesn’t go there? You sound like real gem.

Why do these posters always have kids at BASIS?

I’m the PP who said that - I didn’t clarify - not based on the building facility at all (obviously a much better physical facility than Basis, ye old office building with one narrow staircase and no outdoor space)- based on the behavior of a lot of the students that I see daily before school and during recess/lunch. Some of them are great, but a lot of not great behavior . Can be a great fit for some kids! Not great for some. I’m just saying if I were answering OP’s original post my initial reaction is burbs.

[Anonymous]

Read the first page - not sure if this has been mentioned. I realize you said you would not consider Ward 3 but...good elementary schools, solid middle and high school. Your kid can walk to all three if you live in Murch or Janney district which lightens the single parent load. Mine were allowed to walk on their own starting in 4th and definitely in 5th. And either one has access to Red Line so you can Metro to work. Realize cost would mean smaller space but more green space up here. The school playgrounds are all full of kids after school. I didn't realize once we moved how nice it was to have the easy walk for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, the tutor who hate SH has made their obligatory appearance!

I’m the PP and am not the tutor.

Do you seriously believe that someone is out to get SH?? Seriously. Sounds like you are in denial. Good luck with that.

That tutor is always coming on DCUM to trash middle schools. Not just (or even mostly) SH. But also, definitely a skewed perspective.

He is not trashing any school. What middle schools (pleural) is he trashing? It’s his objective opinion on what school fits best what students based on his interaction of the kids he sees and where they are academically.

It is not a skewed perspective at all. It just doesn’t fit your agenda.

This whole site is skewed and subjective, and if you don't read these threads with that lens, then that's mistake number one.

Separately, one could argue that any tutor's perspective by definition is biased, no matter how well intentioned they are. They are being paid to support kids who are struggling for one reason or another, so that is the small subset they see. For every family who hires a tutor, many others don't - this is far from any kind of valid dataset to prove or disprove anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, the tutor who hate SH has made their obligatory appearance!

I’m the PP and am not the tutor.

Do you seriously believe that someone is out to get SH?? Seriously. Sounds like you are in denial. Good luck with that.

That tutor is always coming on DCUM to trash middle schools. Not just (or even mostly) SH. But also, definitely a skewed perspective.

He is not trashing any school. What middle schools (pleural) is he trashing? It’s his objective opinion on what school fits best what students based on his interaction of the kids he sees and where they are academically.

It is not a skewed perspective at all. It just doesn’t fit your agenda.

This whole site is skewed and subjective, and if you don't read these threads with that lens, then that's mistake number one.

Separately, one could argue that any tutor's perspective by definition is biased, no matter how well intentioned they are. They are being paid to support kids who are struggling for one reason or another, so that is the small subset they see. For every family who hires a tutor, many others don't - this is far from any kind of valid dataset to prove or disprove anything.

Sure many don’t and ignorance is bliss I guess. You don’t know what you don’t know and in this town of low expectation and low standards, that is not going to help your kid.

But carry on……..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah, the tutor who hate SH has made their obligatory appearance!

I’m the PP and am not the tutor.

Do you seriously believe that someone is out to get SH?? Seriously. Sounds like you are in denial. Good luck with that.

That tutor is always coming on DCUM to trash middle schools. Not just (or even mostly) SH. But also, definitely a skewed perspective.

He is not trashing any school. What middle schools (pleural) is he trashing? It’s his objective opinion on what school fits best what students based on his interaction of the kids he sees and where they are academically.

It is not a skewed perspective at all. It just doesn’t fit your agenda.

This whole site is skewed and subjective, and if you don't read these threads with that lens, then that's mistake number one.

Separately, one could argue that any tutor's perspective by definition is biased, no matter how well intentioned they are. They are being paid to support kids who are struggling for one reason or another, so that is the small subset they see. For every family who hires a tutor, many others don't - this is far from any kind of valid dataset to prove or disprove anything.

That is absolutely not true. Tutors are not used just for struggling students. Families use tutors to supplement and cover deficits in curriculums, etc also.