when can we exhale?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was thinking we'd all exhale after the applications are in in early Jan, and all there is to do is wait. Clearly that was wishful thinking. When will it truly all be done, i.e. no more grades to submit, interviews to wait to hear about or not, etc etc. By the end of Feb?

The cute answer is when we pass away. The moment you decide to have kids you don't really exhale. Well, you can if you practice breathing exercises, meditation and yoga. But you get the point.

[Anonymous]

*from the moment you decide to have kids

[Anonymous]

YCBK did an episode called “steps to end college stress,” which was really a list of the turning points in the process where you feel a marked sense of relief.

Here are the post-application turning points:
6. Get your first acceptance
9. Get accepted to a school you’re excited about
11. Get into a school that is financially feasible
12. Get into a school that makes your parents proud
13. Get into a school that earns the respect of your peers
14. Visit a school where you’ve been accepted and like it a lot
16. Meet a friend or two that you like that’s going to the school

This is why you’re still holding your breath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was thinking we'd all exhale after the applications are in in early Jan, and all there is to do is wait. Clearly that was wishful thinking. When will it truly all be done, i.e. no more grades to submit, interviews to wait to hear about or not, etc etc. By the end of Feb?

This is a large reason why safety selection is important. It takes a lot of the edge off.

While it is nice to have an early admit, safeties by definition are schools that are backups. The counselor designates them likelies as in 95% likely to get admission based on the past 5 yrs. Naviance charts make it obvious your kid is overqualified. No matter what the school, it is hard to be excited about a backup, but you have to keep the fear of ending up there quiet. Especially if your backup is a friend's reach. For super-top kids their best fit is directly tied to finding a peer group that can keep up with them, and there is nothing wrong with that. There are no safeties that have T10/ivy-level peer groups. For VA residents there is UVA or W&M to make a good enough fit, and are essentially 100% likely for the top few students at every top private and good public in-state. However they are not the same peer match as attending an elite, for these top of the class students, and a good number of them have to settle for one or the other after being shut out of ivy+. Settling for a backup is very hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was thinking we'd all exhale after the applications are in in early Jan, and all there is to do is wait. Clearly that was wishful thinking. When will it truly all be done, i.e. no more grades to submit, interviews to wait to hear about or not, etc etc. By the end of Feb?

The cute answer is when we pass away. The moment you decide to have kids you don't really exhale. Well, you can if you practice breathing exercises, meditation and yoga. But you get the point.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YCBK did an episode called “steps to end college stress,” which was really a list of the turning points in the process where you feel a marked sense of relief.

Here are the post-application turning points:
6. Get your first acceptance
9. Get accepted to a school you’re excited about
11. Get into a school that is financially feasible
12. Get into a school that makes your parents proud
13. Get into a school that earns the respect of your peers
14. Visit a school where you’ve been accepted and like it a lot
16. Meet a friend or two that you like that’s going to the school

This is why you’re still holding your breath.

oh my gosh, yep, no sustained exhale coming up, but maybe some small ones along the way.

Also I just want to say, sometimes this forum is supportive and helpful. thank you all- OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was thinking we'd all exhale after the applications are in in early Jan, and all there is to do is wait. Clearly that was wishful thinking. When will it truly all be done, i.e. no more grades to submit, interviews to wait to hear about or not, etc etc. By the end of Feb?

This is a large reason why safety selection is important. It takes a lot of the edge off.

While it is nice to have an early admit, safeties by definition are schools that are backups. The counselor designates them likelies as in 95% likely to get admission based on the past 5 yrs. Naviance charts make it obvious your kid is overqualified. No matter what the school, it is hard to be excited about a backup, but you have to keep the fear of ending up there quiet. Especially if your backup is a friend's reach. For super-top kids their best fit is directly tied to finding a peer group that can keep up with them, and there is nothing wrong with that. There are no safeties that have T10/ivy-level peer groups. For VA residents there is UVA or W&M to make a good enough fit, and are essentially 100% likely for the top few students at every top private and good public in-state. However they are not the same peer match as attending an elite, for these top of the class students, and a good number of them have to settle for one or the other after being shut out of ivy+. Settling for a backup is very hard.

The top students can have an excellent education experience at UVA or W&M with an equivalent peer group. The students will need to seek out like-minded peers. There are talented students at every single one of the universities where your child is applying. Reframe and don't think of a school like UVA or W&M as "settling for a backup". Most of these students are extremely privileged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:May 1

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was thinking we'd all exhale after the applications are in in early Jan, and all there is to do is wait. Clearly that was wishful thinking. When will it truly all be done, i.e. no more grades to submit, interviews to wait to hear about or not, etc etc. By the end of Feb?

Nope. Even if admitted, virtually all acceptances are conditional on final grades. So unfortunately can't exhale until they're actually moved into their dorm and sitting in a classroom in the fall.

[Anonymous]

I will be exhaling on April 1st when I make my last tuition payment ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was thinking we'd all exhale after the applications are in in early Jan, and all there is to do is wait. Clearly that was wishful thinking. When will it truly all be done, i.e. no more grades to submit, interviews to wait to hear about or not, etc etc. By the end of Feb?

Nope. Even if admitted, virtually all acceptances are conditional on final grades. So unfortunately can't exhale until they're actually moved into their dorm and sitting in a classroom in the fall.

Then it will be this:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1258065.page

[Anonymous]

I hate to tell you all this, but as soon as the hit campus the grind and worry starts all over again. Next up is getting the right clubs
and internships to get a job. It starts as soon as they hit campus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to tell you all this, but as soon as the hit campus the grind and worry starts all over again. Next up is getting the right clubs
and internships to get a job. It starts as soon as they hit campus

Not to mention the general freshman angst and crashouts.