Are alcoholics happy people?

[Anonymous]

I am going to be completely honest when I say my best friend of 15 plus year drinks to excess (especially in the summer) but I truly dont think she's "hiding" anything. I truly think she's happy, she has a "big" job, is there for her kids, I know her "trouble" sports but they are no worse than anyone else. I think some people just drink too much but aren't alcoholics? Is that possible? I just feel like by now I would see "the reason" but I really think she has a solid marriage, easy kids, good career, high HHI, so, shrug, I just don't see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Externally? Maybe. Internally? Not at all.

It's self-medicating.

Not necessarily for unhappiness. I drink to excess because of my anxiety. I guess it depends on if you consider an anxiety disorder equal (or whatever else) to be the same as being unhappy. I personally do not.

[Anonymous]

I’m in recovery, don’t talk about it often or go to meetings, and rarely even engage in these threads on DCUM. I think you can’t generalize about people with alcohol use disorder- we’re people too, just like you people that don’t have AUD are different and not a homogenous group.

At the end of my drinking I was miserable almost around the clock, but it was problematic way before that and there were definitely happy times. It can be a slow and progressive disorder, it’s more of a spectrum than people falling into a category or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:well, once alcoholism really progresses, it creates its own misery, usually, regardless of how it starts.

While I am not an alcoholic, I got in a bad habit of having a drink almost every night (sometimes two) as a wind down/stress reliever. I have managed to cut way back (still have 1 or 2 a week if I go out) and I am neither happier nor unhappier. I just have found different ways of coping with stress/transitions.

I wish I could say that my skin looks amazing, my sleep is amazing and I lost 5 lbs, but everything seems about the same, with the difference that now if I have any more than 1 glass of wine--and sometimes even with one--my sleep sucks. I guess I had developed a tolerance that I've now lost.

My friend who died of alcoholism, his first hospitalization was for a ruptured esophagus. That's as unpleasant as you might think.

It can be just so, so bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are using alcohol to numb or not deal with something - insecurity, sadness, whatever. That's why there's a difference between detoxing from alcohol abuse which takes about two weeks max but then they need therapy for their addiction, which is part chemical but also emotional. They are uncomfortable being sober with their feelings.

Some people enjoy drinking and know how to handle it. The reason they drink is noyb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No happy person drinks to excess. No happy person drinks daily.

Lots of people can fake it, and many do (for a time). The fantasy of functionality is one of the biggest mindgames of addiction.

Source?

[Anonymous]

Are most non-alcoholics happy? I would guess probably not.

Certainly excessive drinking is often a sign of stress, anxiety, and other mental health problems. But I am not sure if someone who occasionally drinks too much is on average any less happy than someone who doesn’t drink at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of them enjoy time with friends, feel relaxed when they drink and can hold down good paying jobs and marriages. Do they hide their unhappiness?

Diabetics often eat refined carbohydrates and enjoy time with friends and feel relaxed and hold jobs etc. People with diseases aren't necessarily unhappy people trying to hide their problems.

Most alcoholics are in denial so they lie to themselves as well.

[Anonymous]

It was a different story when people didn't know better and liquor industry was suppressing scientific research, now everyone knows so most sensible people either went cold turkey or are actively trying to quit.

[Anonymous]

The alcoholics I know do it to escape pain and forget about stress.

[Anonymous]

An alcoholic does not necessarily have a physical addiction. It’s the reason why they drink and the harm they do that makes them an alcoholic. These people that I know who can tackle this demon are the best people you’ll ever meet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Externally? Maybe. Internally? Not at all.

It's self-medicating.

Not necessarily for unhappiness. I drink to excess because of my anxiety. I guess it depends on if you consider an anxiety disorder equal (or whatever else) to be the same as being unhappy. I personally do not.

Does your anxiety bring you happiness? Do you feel happy and content when your anxiety is surging?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Externally? Maybe. Internally? Not at all.

It's self-medicating.

Not necessarily for unhappiness. I drink to excess because of my anxiety. I guess it depends on if you consider an anxiety disorder equal (or whatever else) to be the same as being unhappy. I personally do not.

Does your anxiety bring you happiness? Do you feel happy and content when your anxiety is surging?

Obviously not. It also doesn’t necessarily make me unhappy. My anxiety makes me… anxious.

But by even asking the question you are admitting that happiness and anxiety are separate emotions. So thanks for proving my point, I guess?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. They are self-medicating their depression, pain, trauma, anxiety, etc.

And causing depression, pain, trauma, anxiety to all of those around them.

100% and cheating, lying and other bad behaviors follow.

[Anonymous]

No. My FIL was a miserable drunk that caused all kinds of problems for his family.

Spouse became an alcoholic in his 50s, repeated a lot of the patterns- anger outbursts, critical, infidelity…but was great for 20 years before the drinking habit was uncontrollable.