Can't Wait For This To Be Over

[Anonymous]

My mother felt this way about me and I overheard her comforting my sister that I would be gone soon. That moment has stuck with me and can still bring me to my knees at 50. Little did she know that I was suffering from severe depression and undiagnosed ADHD. I was doing well in school and a top athlete and she never once leaned in to see what was really going on. Guess what our relationship is like today?

[Anonymous]

All hail the parent whose adult children will go no contact and then this parent will tell everyone and their dog how her "selfish" children have abandoned her without explanation. She has no idea why her own children walked away and will not speak to her anymore! She gave them the perfect childhood! Bonus points for putting your lying sob story on social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posters are being extra hard on you. It’s a tough time with our seniors. Mine is also having the moments of soiling the nest. I know I’m going to miss him like crazy next year and I keep reminding myself of that and taking lots of deep breaths lately. Hang in there, OP.

No. You express yourself in a more mature and balanced way than OP just did. Even when my son was driving me crazy, I never even thought, let alone expressed to DCUM, what OP wrote. If there is a diagnosis involved, then OP should have mentioned this - there are plenty of desperate threads in the Special Needs forum that garner sympathy, because the kid acting out isn't entirely responsible for their own actions. But she doesn't. It gives the impression that this parent doesn't have the required bandwidth to deal with a child, and honestly, that's on the parent.

Shut up, you self righteous twat.

Name calling is always the clearest sign that someone is very confident in their argument.

I bet your parents threw a party when you finally left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't stand my teen. I'm counting down the days to graduation so they can get the hell out. So sick of this s**t.

20-30 years down the road: WhY aRe ThEy NoT CalLiNg Me and CoMiNg To ViSiT?! If you're tired of your teen's s*t, imagine how they must feel about yours.

Lol. My mom has never thought this. I know because she told me when I asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother felt this way about me and I overheard her comforting my sister that I would be gone soon. That moment has stuck with me and can still bring me to my knees at 50. Little did she know that I was suffering from severe depression and undiagnosed ADHD. I was doing well in school and a top athlete and she never once leaned in to see what was really going on. Guess what our relationship is like today?

Sounds like you still haven’t grown up and taken accountability for terrorizing your poor sister to the point that your mother had to comfort her.

Maybe you should apologize to the people YOU hurt instead of expecting everyone to feel sorry for you and your struggles. You’re just making excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother felt this way about me and I overheard her comforting my sister that I would be gone soon. That moment has stuck with me and can still bring me to my knees at 50. Little did she know that I was suffering from severe depression and undiagnosed ADHD. I was doing well in school and a top athlete and she never once leaned in to see what was really going on. Guess what our relationship is like today?

Work on improving your relationship. Your mom is a human just like you, and so can make mistakes just like you. How can you have reached 50 years old and not leaned in to ask what she was going through at the time and in all the years since? Do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, try little love and caring instead of getting all worked out. They're still kids at heart. Mine just passed his driving test and on the way home we drove by a fancy chocolate place we used to go to when he was little -- I said, hey, let's stop buy and get you <insert a certain treat he used to love>! So we did and the teen was so happy like a little kid

Your story sounds just like the nostalgia parents of actual teens feel. When the shit hits the fan, you won't be stopping in for <insert a certain treat he used to love>! believe me. You'll be shocked.

[Anonymous]

I posted about this 3-4 times over the years regarding my teen daughter. I appreciated the posters who stressed to do whatever I can to make things better now & focus on that rather than just making it through for a few years. And the ones who called me out on my issues around it.

The issues were pretty severe though, and very hard to get through, and changed a lot of my views on people having/wanting kids.

It did get mostly better when she started uni. Still some entitlement, and still some wounds from the other years, but all in all she is still living at home and it's ok.

Those years were really hard though and completely changed me, so I feel for you op, it is just a really difficult space to be in.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am feeling your pain sister... don't listen to the pollyanna numbchucks who tell you that you should feel bad for expressing your feelings. Any relationship is a two-way street; I love my teen but the sooner mine gets out of here, the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posters are being extra hard on you. It’s a tough time with our seniors. Mine is also having the moments of soiling the nest. I know I’m going to miss him like crazy next year and I keep reminding myself of that and taking lots of deep breaths lately. Hang in there, OP.

No. You express yourself in a more mature and balanced way than OP just did. Even when my son was driving me crazy, I never even thought, let alone expressed to DCUM, what OP wrote. If there is a diagnosis involved, then OP should have mentioned this - there are plenty of desperate threads in the Special Needs forum that garner sympathy, because the kid acting out isn't entirely responsible for their own actions. But she doesn't. It gives the impression that this parent doesn't have the required bandwidth to deal with a child, and honestly, that's on the parent.

Shut up, you self righteous twat.

+1

It’s an anonymous vent. It can be brash and rude.

+1-ing a over the top brash and rude post is wild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother felt this way about me and I overheard her comforting my sister that I would be gone soon. That moment has stuck with me and can still bring me to my knees at 50. Little did she know that I was suffering from severe depression and undiagnosed ADHD. I was doing well in school and a top athlete and she never once leaned in to see what was really going on. Guess what our relationship is like today?

Work on improving your relationship. Your mom is a human just like you, and so can make mistakes just like you. How can you have reached 50 years old and not leaned in to ask what she was going through at the time and in all the years since? Do better.

Why put the onus on the victim? Why not ask and hope that the mom realized she drove her kid away and eventually apologized?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted about this 3-4 times over the years regarding my teen daughter. I appreciated the posters who stressed to do whatever I can to make things better now & focus on that rather than just making it through for a few years. And the ones who called me out on my issues around it.

The issues were pretty severe though, and very hard to get through, and changed a lot of my views on people having/wanting kids.

It did get mostly better when she started uni. Still some entitlement, and still some wounds from the other years, but all in all she is still living at home and it's ok.

Those years were really hard though and completely changed me, so I feel for you op, it is just a really difficult space to be in.

Good for you, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother felt this way about me and I overheard her comforting my sister that I would be gone soon. That moment has stuck with me and can still bring me to my knees at 50. Little did she know that I was suffering from severe depression and undiagnosed ADHD. I was doing well in school and a top athlete and she never once leaned in to see what was really going on. Guess what our relationship is like today?

Work on improving your relationship. Your mom is a human just like you, and so can make mistakes just like you. How can you have reached 50 years old and not leaned in to ask what she was going through at the time and in all the years since? Do better.

Why put the onus on the victim? Why not ask and hope that the mom realized she drove her kid away and eventually apologized?

The victim was the sister. The poster still blaming her mom for being a terror to her sibling(s) wasn’t driven away… her family was holding their breath until she left. The fact that she still won’t look inward and instead puts all the blame on someone else tracks.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I recommitted to my PITA teen after reading This Boy's Life by Tobias Wolff. He really illustrates how hard it is to be a teen boy, and how every consequence of his own bad behavior just made him feel worse about himself. I really got a lot out of it and highly recommend it for parents of wayward teen boys, maybe for parents of teen girls, too -- I wasn't the kind of teen Wolff was so I'm not sure, although I was a handful in my own way. But even so, it's a touching memoire and you can't help but feel more sympathetic after reading it. I highly recommend it.